Generated by All in One SEO v5.0.0.1, this is an llms.txt file, used by LLMs to index the site.

# The Republic of Slowjamastan

The United Territories of The Sovereign Nation of The People's Republic of Slowjamastan

## Sitemaps

- [XML Sitemap](https://www.slowjamastan.org/sitemap.xml): Contains all public & indexable URLs for this website.

## Posts

- [NEWS](https://www.slowjamastan.org/news/)
- [The First Five Slowjamastan Events in 2023](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2023/01/29/the-first-five-slowjamastan-events-in-2023/) - BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER January 27th, 2023 Date: Saturday, April 1st, 2023 Time: 11AM - 5PM Location: Brawley Plaza Park - Brawley, California, USA Description: Join The Sultan and Slowjamastan Parliament and State Governors for this special car show, being held just miles from Slowjamastan borders. Special appearance by Rescue Rick and
- [TRAVEL ADVISORY: Non-Americans Wishing to Travel to Slowjamastan](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2023/06/11/travel-advisory-non-americans-wishing-to-travel-to-slowjamastan/) - BY THE SULTAN l SUPREME LEADER June 11, 2023 Dublândia: As much fun as we are having creating and watching this whole "Slowjamastan" empire unfold and explode, please allow your Sultan to be serious for a moment... Since the news of Slowjamastan broke around the world (CNN, etc.), I have personally received hundreds of
- [Hordes Flood Across Border to See Sultan](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2022/02/11/hoards-flood-across-border-to-see-sultan/) - #post_excerptUnder 10,000 Slowjamastani citizens and allies crossed the border from The United States into Slowjamastan to see The Sultan speak publicly, in person, for the first time. Harvey Schmidlap reports from the capital of this new and quickly expanding micronation.
- [Own a Piece of Slowjamastan!](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2023/06/08/own-a-piece-of-slowjamastan/) - Buy a Brick and Leave Your Legacy Engrave up to three lines of text with 20 characters per line... Recognize a special person in your life. Honor a casual effort. Commemorate a special occasion. The possibilities are endless.
- [The Great French Passport Stamp Controversy of 2026](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2026/06/15/the-great-french-passport-stamp-controversy-of-2026/) - BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER June 14th, 2026 PARIS — A recent traveler proudly shared photos of their Republic of Slowjamastan passport receiving an official entry stamp at Paris-Orly Airport in France. Almost immediately, a familiar species appeared in the comments section: the Internet Expert. "AI," they declared. "Fake." "Generated." "Impossible."
- [20 Nations That Have Recognized and Stamped the Slowjamastan Passport](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2023/02/05/16-nations-that-have-recognized-and-stamped-the-slowjamastan-passport/) - BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER February 4th, 2023 Dublândia, Slowjamastan: From the looks of it, The Slowjamastan passport is quickly on its way to becoming on of the most powerful passports in the world. On recent trips through Africa and The Pacific, our great leader had his Slowjamastan passport stamped at immigration counters in
- [“Crimes Against Fashion”: Slowjamastan Issues Indictment of Crocs Boss Andrew Rees](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2026/05/21/crimes-against-fashion-slowjamastan-issues-indictment-of-crocs-boss-andrew-rees/) - BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER May 21, 2026 SLOWJAMASTAN — Federal prosecutors in The Republic of Slowjamastan announced today that they have formally indicted Andrew Rees, CEO of Crocs, on charges including Crimes Against Fashion, Reckless Distribution of Foam Footwear, and Conspiracy to Encourage Public Chomping of String Cheese. The
- [Driving + Fishing License All-in-One: NOW AVAILABLE!](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2026/04/28/driving-fishing-license-all-in-one-now-available/) - BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER April 28th, 2026 SLOWJAMASTAN — In a moment of quiet triumph disguised as chaos, the Ministry of Identification and Mild Confusion confirms what loyal viewers of Fridays with Frank already suspected: the All-in-One Driving and Fishing License of the Republic of Slowjamastan has officially escaped the
- [‘SS Badassin’ SandMarine Emerges in the Slowjamastan Desert](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2024/04/29/ss-badassin-submarine-emerges-in-the-slowjamastan-desert/) - April 27th, 2024 This past weekend, citizens and visitors attending a celebratory event in the growing micronation of Slowjamastan were surprised to see a steel SandMarine emerging from the sand in the remote desert surrounded by Imperial County, California. The ‘SS Badassin’ (SSBN2) is docked on the Royal River, along the border
- [Slowjamastan’s First-Ever YouTube Live Delivers Huge Announcement](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2026/03/30/slowjamastans-first-ever-youtube-live-delivers-huge-announcement/) - Despite Chaotic Start, Officials Urge Public to Watch Replay BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER March 28th, 2026 SLOWJAMASTAN — The Republic of Slowjamastan marked a milestone this week with its first-ever YouTube LIVE broadcast, featuring The Sultan and The Chief in what officials are calling a “glorious success”—though not without
- [Apology from The Sultan: He Clarifies Misunderstanding and Honors the Will of the People](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2026/03/28/apology-from-the-sultan-he-clarifies-misunderstanding-and-honors-the-will-of-the-people/) - BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER March 28th, 2026 SLOWJAMASTAN — In moment of excessive vigilance and slightly elevated blood pressure, Glorious Leader The Sultan regretfully acknowledges premature accusation of treason against loyal citizens of The Republic of Slowjamastan. Yesterday, armored convoy of Porder Batrol vehicles descended upon peaceful gathering believed to
- [Attend or Regret: Ask The Sultan & Chief — Live Sunday, March 29th at 5PM Pacific](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2026/03/23/attend-or-regret-ask-the-sultan-chief-live-sunday-march-29th-at-5pm-pacific/) - Citizens of the Republic, attention. On Sunday, March 29 at precisely 5:00 PM Pacific, the Supreme Leader himself—the Sultan—alongside the honorable Chief, will take to the airwaves for a historic broadcast: “Ask The Sultan and Chief.” Across the globe, you will assemble at your assigned hour:5:00 PM Pacific6:00 PM Mountain7:00 PM Central8:00 PM Eastern
- [Masses Mobilize as Sultan Unveils Coffee, Parking, and the Future of Aviation](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2026/01/28/masses-mobilize-as-sultan-unveils-coffee-parking-and-the-future-of-aviation/) - Glorious Masses Answer the Call of The Sultan BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER PHOTOS BY TARA HOWARD January 25th, 2026 SLOWJAMASTAN — Under 10,000 loyal citizens, curious onlookers, and possible foreign operatives flooded through the heavily monitored (yet welcoming) borders of The Republic of Slowjamastan on Sunday for the long-awaited
- [Slowjamastan to Tower Over “Bigger” Nations at the Travel & Adventure Show in Long Beach](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2026/02/24/travel-adventure-show/) - BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER February 23rd, 2026 LONG BEACH, CA — The glorious Republic of Slowjamastan has announced its strategic cultural expansion into the prestigious Travel & Adventure Show, landing triumphantly at the Long Beach Convention Center on Saturday and Sunday, March 7th and 8th. While so-called “larger” nations like
- [MEDIA ALERT: Slowjamastan on CBS 8 San Diego - Wednesday, March 25th](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2026/02/26/media-alert-slowjamastan-on-cbs-8-san-diego-wednesday-march-4th/) - UPDATE: Rescheduled for March 25th BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER February 26th, 2026 SAN DIEGO — On Wednesday, March 25th, the state-approved television flickers to life as American journalist Jeff Zevely unveils his broadcast on our glorious republic. Will he courageously present the shining truth of Slowjamastan’s supremacy… or succumb
- [Contact Us](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2021/11/13/contact-us/) - Newsletter: Want to know when we declare independence? Visas and tours? Or when we will open up opportunities for property and political office appointments? Be sure to sign up for our newsletter. We will never, ever spam you or sell/give away your infomation. Sultan-swear. * indicates required Email Address * First Name Last Name
- [We're Crowdfunding an Airport...Yes, Really](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2026/01/28/were-crowdfunding-and-airport-yes-really/) -  Slowjamastan International Airport is Coming...With Your Help Okay, yes—we have technically been talking about a “Lazy River” since 2021. And yes, it has yet to… materialize. But we appreciated how enthusiastically you pretended it was a real thing. Who knows? One day we might build a Lazy River. And one day
- [Next Event: Sunday, January 25th](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2026/01/16/next-event-sunday-january-25th/) - FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE (Before We’re Overthrown) Slowjamastan Offers VIP Parking to the United States in Bold Diplomatic Gesture Visa-Free Entry, Free Coffee, and Dirt Parking for All THE REPUBLIC OF SLOWJAMASTAN (Imperial County, CA) — With dictators worldwide suddenly finding themselves under intense scrutiny (looking at you, Venezuela and Iran), The Sultan of
- [Statement Urging Immediate Resignation of Crocs Leadership in the Interest of Global Footwear Stability](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2026/01/05/statement-urging-immediate-resignation-of-crocs-leadership-in-the-interest-of-global-footwear-stability/) - Sultan of Slowjamastan Crusader Against Crocs If you know the whereabouts of Andrew Rees, immediately contact our anonymous tip line: 866‑NO‑CROCS. A 50,000 Duble reward awaits information leading to his swift and stylish capture. 
- [Behind the Porder Lines: The Slowjamastan Video Tour You Didn’t Know You Needed](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2025/12/30/behind-the-porder-lines-the-slowjamastan-video-tour-you-didnt-know-you-needed/) - BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER December 30th, 2025 SLOWJAMASTAN — Been longing to visit The Republic of Slowjamastan, but you’re tragically held back by geography, finances, or—worse—your unwavering loyalty to Crocs? We understand. Not everyone is emotionally prepared to explain to airport security why their final destination is an 11-acre micronation
- [From Sand to Snow: The People’s Victory of December](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2025/12/30/from-sand-to-snow-the-peoples-victory-of-december/) - BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER December 20th, 2025 ANTARCTICA — December shall forever be recorded in the official textbooks of the People’s Republic of Slowjamastan as a month of historic inevitability, when destiny itself marched in lockstep with our fearless, tireless, and extremely well-rested Sultan. Under banners of progress and totally peaceful
- [The Sultan Infiltrates American Morning Newscast](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2025/12/04/the-sultan-infiltrates-american-morning-newscast/) - BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER December 4th, 2025 SAN DIEGO — In a dazzling display of espionage brilliance, The Sultan of Slowjamastan pulled off his most audacious coup yet: infiltrating The American Media™ itself. Disguised as mild-mannered “Earl Farkward,” a so-called holiday specialist with suspiciously impeccable facial hair, The Sultan managed to secure
- [Outrage over Crocs at the Border - Official Statement from the Ministry of Misunderstandings](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2025/12/01/outrage-over-crocs-at-the-border-official-statement-from-the-ministry-of-misunderstandings/) - Citizens, Loyal Subjects, and Concerned Anti-Croc Patriots, Yesterday, some of you may have witnessed disturbing border security footage in which The Sultan appeared to allow a young child to enter Slowjamastan while wearing Crocs. Your outrage was justified. In fact, your outrage was the correct response, and we commend you for your bravery in
- [From Handcuffs to Parliament: Frank Sloup Joins Slowjamastan Government](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2025/11/23/from-handcuffs-to-parliament-frank-sloup-joins-slowjamastan-government/) - A Tale of Forgiveness, Grammar, and Questionable Hiring Practices BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER November 22nd, 2025 SLOWJAMASTAN — In a stunning turn of international diplomacy—and possibly Stockholm Syndrome—Deputy Frank Sloup, the Arizona lawman who once detained The Sultan himself, has now officially joined the Slowjamastani Parliament. Yes, you read that correctly: the
- [SULTAN DETAINED IN ARIZONA](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2025/10/24/sultan-detained-in-arizona/) - DIPLOMATIC INCIDENT ROCKS SLOWJAMASTAN–AMERICA RELATIONS BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER October 23rd, 2025  PINAL COUNTY, AZ — What began as a peaceful diplomatic mission across North America turned into a full-blown international crisis Thursday afternoon when The Sultan of Slowjamastan was temporarily detained by an American law enforcement officer who
- [NEW DIPLOMAT LICENSE PLATE: NOW YOU TOO CAN CONFUSE LAW ENFORCEMENT!](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2025/10/24/new-diplomat-license-plate-now-you-too-can-confuse-law-enforcement/) - BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER October 23rd, 2025 SLOWJAMASTAN — The Sultan’s latest initiative to spread Slowjamastani culture and mild chaos has officially hit the streets—sort of. The brand-new, official Slowjamastani-issued “DIPLOMAT” license plate is now available to the public! “It’s perfect,” said The Sultan. “Nothing says international intrigue like cruising down
- [Max McNown Joins the Parliament of Slowjamastan After Historic Taco Summit with The Sultan](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2025/09/10/max-mcnown-joins-the-parliament-of-slowjamastan-after-historic-taco-summit-with-the-sultan/) - BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER September 9th, 2025 SAN DIEGO — History was made this weekend inside the bustling Consulate of Slowjamastan, where singer-songwriter Max McNown traded guitar strings for government strings. The summit began the way all world-changing diplomatic missions should: with tacos. The Sultan invites you to become
- [VIDEO: The Sultan’s Lazy River™ Opens… Then Immediately Closes](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2025/09/07/video-the-sultans-lazy-river-opens-then-immediately-closes/) - BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER August 25th, 2025 SLOWJAMASTAN — After nearly five years of hype, ribbon-cuttings, and empty promises, Slowjamastan’s most anticipated attraction—The Sultan’s Lazy River™—finally opened this weekend. Citizens rushed to float along its murky currents, only to discover that the "river" was actually a flash flood of brown,
- [Pits of Deceit: Sultan’s Guac Crushed by American Interference (Again)](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2025/08/01/guac-off-2025-san-diego/) - BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER July 31st, 2025 SAN DIEGO — The Third Annual Guac-Off unfolded today at the San Diego Food Bank, deep in the heart of the United States of America—where once again, foreign interference (read: “America”) tampered with the sacred art of competitive guacamole. The Sultan of Slowjamastan—clearly
- [The Sultan to Host MicroCon 27, the Weirdest Gathering of World Leaders You’ve Never Heard Of](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2025/07/19/the-sultan-to-host-microcon-27-the-weirdest-gathering-of-world-leaders-youve-never-heard-of/) - BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER July 9th, 2025 SLOWJAMASTAN — Do you sometimes wonder if there are other strange little "nations" out there like Slowjamastan? Well, brace yourself, because the answer is yes—and it’s both thrilling and mildly concerning. Allow us to introduce: Molossia (a proud dictatorship outside of Reno), Sealand
- [Slowjamastan Takes Montreal: Croissants, Diplomacy and World Domination](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2025/07/15/slowjamastan-takes-montreal-croissants-diplomacy-and-world-domination/) - BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER July 15th, 2025 MONTREAL – In a moment that can only be described as “moderately historic,” The Republic of Slowjamastan made its grand diplomatic debut in Montreal, Canada this week—armed with flaky pastries, fizzy beverages, and an inflated sense of national importance. The Sultan touched down in
- [BREAKING: Sultan of Slowjamastan Denies Existence of “Finkledorf List” Amid Croc-Wearing Conspiracy Allegations](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2025/07/09/breaking-sultan-of-slowjamastan-denies-existence-of-finkledorf-list-amid-croc-wearing-conspiracy-allegations/) - BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER July 9th, 2025 SLOWJAMASTAN — In a hastily organized press conference held in front of the Ministry of Sand and Silence, The Sultan of Slowjamastan flatly denied the existence of what whistleblowers are calling “The Finkledorf List”—an alleged roster of top government officials involved in a
- [Sultan to Attend MicroCon 2022 in Las Vegas, Invites Citizens](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2022/07/12/microcon2022/) - BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER June 11th, 2022 Las Vegas: Think of it as the G20 Summit but for countries like Slowjamastan. Once a year, micronations around the world come together for a special conference where kings, queens, emperors, prime ministers, presidents, and yes, even sultans, can all be seen in the same
- [Sultan Pimps Rides, Crowds Stunned](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2023/04/17/new-rides-for-slowjamastan/) -  BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER April 3rd, 2023 Dublândia, Slowjamastan: Under 20,000 Slowjamastani citizens and supporters joined The Sultan and Parliament last to celebrate the arrival of the two latest official state vehicles to join The Slowjamastan Government fleet. "¡Viva Slowjamastan!" chanted crowd-goers excited to see The Sultan and
- [Sultan Invites You to Join us at Microcon 2023](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2023/06/05/microcon-2023-chicago/) - BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER June 4th, 2023  Dublândia: Earlier this morning, The Sultan announced his attendance at Microcon 2023, being held Saturday, July 1st in Joliet, Illinois. The Sultan will attend the international conference of micronations, along with Slowjamastan Parliament, allies, supporters and friends. Security will be on high alert
- [Slowjamastan's Epic Summer](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2023/08/27/slowjamastans-epic-summer-comiccon-capers-law-tango-and-more-avocados-than-you-can-guac-omprehend/) - Comiccon Capers, Law tango, and More Avocados Than you can Guac-omprehend! BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER August 26, 2023 Los Angeles - In a whirlwind frenzy that lasted a whole 45 days (which is like a lightning bolt in the land of Slow Jams), The Republic of Slowjamastan flexed
- [Sultan's Spectacle: Grand Entrance in Brawley, CA for the 'Cattle Call' Parade Leaves Cows Envious and Locals Confused](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2023/11/15/sultans-spectacle-grand-entrance-in-brawley-ca-for-the-cattle-call-parade-leaves-cows-envious-and-locals-confused/) - BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER November 15, 2023 The bustling streets of Brawley, California, transformed into a theater of absurdity as hordes of enthusiastic Americans eagerly awaited the grand spectacle of The Sultan and his motorcade during the recent Cattle Call Parade. In the distinguished delegation from the glorious land
- [Under 50,000 Descend Upon Motherland for (No) Croctober Celebration](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2023/10/16/under-50000-descend-upon-motherland-for-no-croctober-celebration/) - BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER September 15, 2023 Last weekend, the "motherland" saw a monumental influx of SlowjamaFans from across the globe. The Sultan flung open his borders with all the grace of a bull in a china shop, granting visa-free access to the masses. Chaos reigned as visitors stampeded in, causing
- [The Sultan, World Leaders Meet at MicroCon](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2022/09/04/the-sultan-world-leaders-meet-at-microcon-2022/) - BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER August 10th, 2022 Las Vegas: Leaders from 29 nations around the world converged on Las Vegas last weekend for MicroCon 2022, a summit designed to bring together countries large and small, for a weekend of discussions, diplomacy and mediocre buffet food. Representing Slowjamastan was The Sultan, Chief
- [Under 50,000 Visit for Slowjamastan Spooktacular](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2022/12/02/under-50000-visit-for-slowjamastan-spooktacular/) - BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER October 29th, 2022 Higher Wadi - Governor Donald Caliva and Governess Samantha Speckmeyer TriviaLand - Governor Mark Corona But things got even hotter when Rescue Rick unveiled his new toy...I mean truck. Slowjamastan Fire and Rescue's new fire engine was big, bold, impressive and had all the hose!
- [Under Three Tons of Trash Collected in Foreign Aid Mission](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2024/12/09/under-three-tons-of-trash-collected-in-foreign-aid-mission/) - ...Sultan of Slowjamastan Leads Elite Citizens in Heroic Quest to Save America from Itself BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER December 8th, 2024 San Diego County, CA: This weekend, fewer than 500 of the bravest Slowjamastani citizens answered The Sultan's clarion call to embark on a daring mission into foreign territory—America. The
- [The Sultan and His Chief Enforcer Storm Los Angeles and OC](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2025/06/12/the-sultan-and-his-chief-enforcer-storm-los-angeles/) - A Press Tour Nobody Asked For but Everyone Will Remember BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER June 12th, 2025 Los Angeles and Orange County, CA – In a diplomatic move that rattled local coffee shops and confused several Uber drivers, The Sultan of Slowjamastan and his ever-vigilant Chief Porder Batrol Agent descended
- [Massive Caravans of Americans Seek Asylum in Slowjamastan—But not so Fast!](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2025/03/18/massive-caravans-of-americans-seek-asylum-in-slowjamastan-but-not-so-fast/) - BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER March 18th, 2025 The Republic of Slowjamastan – In what experts are calling "the greatest migration in modern history," massive caravans of Americans are heading toward the border of The Glorious Republic of Slowjamastan, seeking asylum from outrageous taxes, skyrocketing rent, and the unbearable tyranny of
- [Sultan Imposes 6,000,000% Tariff on Crocs, Calls Them "Threat to National Security"](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2025/03/04/sultan-imposes-6000000-tariff-on-crocs-calls-them-threat-to-national-security/) - BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER March 4th, 2025 The Republic of Slowjamastan – In a bold move to protect his nation's dignity, The Sultan of Slowjamastan has announced a 6,000,000% tariff on all imports of Crocs, declaring the foam clog a "threat to national security, fashion, and common sense." "These so-called
- [BREAKING NEWS: The Sultan Considers Annexing Yuma, Arizona as New Territory of Slowjamastan](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2025/01/26/breaking-news-the-sultan-considers-annexing-yuma-arizona-as-new-territory-of-slowjamastan/) - BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER January 25th, 2025 Dublândia - Slowjamastan's charismatic and unapologetically bold leader, The Sultan, has sent shockwaves across the geopolitical landscape with a declaration: he’s “thinking very strongly” about annexing Yuma, Arizona. According to The Sultan, the move would create the “greatest, most incredible expansion” in Slowjamastan’s
- [The Sultan vs. The Education System—One Brave Student Fights for Truth, Justice, and Dubles](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2025/02/26/the-sultan-vs-the-education-system-one-brave-student-fights-for-truth-justice-and-dubles/) - Young Scholar Denied A+ for Recognizing the Greatest Nation on Earth—The Sultan Intervenes BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER February 26, 2025 Puebla, México – The Sultan, Supreme Leader and Benevolent Overlord of Slowjamastan, receives thousands of correspondences each week. From love letters penned by adoring fans to unsolicited offers for extended
- [Slowjamastan Makes Historic Debut at Travel and Adventure Show; Confuses, Delights Visitors](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2025/02/18/slowjamastan-makes-historic-debut-at-travel-and-adventure-show-confuses-delights-visitors/) - BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER February 17, 2025 Phoenix, AZ – A new global superpower has entered the tourism arena. The Republic of Slowjamastan made its world-famous debut at the equally world-famous Travel and Adventure Show last weekend at the Phoenix Convention Center. While some nations rely on picturesque beaches, ancient
- [BREAKING: Salton Sea Renamed "Sultan" Sea in Bold Cartographic Coup](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2025/02/13/salton-sea-renamed-sultan-sea/) - BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER February 12, 2025 Imperial County, CA - In a shocking display of cartographic audacity, maps now reflect the Salton Sea as the "Sultan" Sea, honoring the Supreme Leader of Slowjamastan. Critics claim it’s a blatant attempt to expand Slowjamastani influence, but supporters say it’s
- [Travel Around The World with The Sultan](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2025/01/30/travel-around-the-world-with-the-sultan/) - BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER January 25rd, 2025 Los Angeles - If a front-row seat at the NATO Summit didn't convince the world that Slowjamastan is a geopolitical powerhouse, fear not—we're doubling down. This year, our glorious nation will stand shoulder to shoulder with the world’s most "serious" states at the
- [Slowjamastan Builds Wall, Declares "No Crocs Shall Pass!"](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2025/01/25/slowjamastan-builds-wall-declares-no-crocs-shall-pass/) - BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER January 23rd, 2025 Dublândia - After four grueling days of intense labor, sweat, and what we can only assume was a lot of Monster Energy drinks, the Republic of Slowjamastan is proud to announce the construction of... drumroll please... a wall! Okay, technically, it's a fence. But not just any fence—it’s a damn
- [Burglary and Vandalism Update: A Message from The Sultan](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2025/01/12/burglary-and-vandalism-update-new-details-in/) - January 12th, 2025 My Word is Bond I promised I'd keep you updated on the awful burglary and vandalism that happened to us in December, so I'm here with an update. I don't enjoy putting the humor and satire aside, but for serious stuff like this, I must. A reminder that this wasn't a
- ["This Aggression will not Stand!" Sultan, Citizens Demand Answers](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2025/01/12/this-is-our-9-11-sultan-citizens-demand-answers/) - In a move of historic significance, His Excellency, The Sultan of Slowjamastan, has formed the December 14th Commission to fully investigate the events that shook our great republic.
- [BREAKING: The Sultan Wins Big in Slowjamastan Blowout Election...](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2024/11/06/election-results/) - November 6th, 2024 Dublândia: In a landslide victory that absolutely no one saw coming (except maybe The Sultan himself), tonight's election crowned our illustrious leader once again. "Crocs are an abomination, and so is anyone who wears them," The Sultan proclaimed in a victorious speech following the vote count. Citizens can
- [UPDATE: SUSPECTS IDENTIFIED](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2024/12/31/update-suspects-identified/) - Suspects have been identified and located. We are currently working with authorities. Please GO HERE for the latest updates. Parents, you have the power to create outstanding, kind citizens out of your children. You also have equal power to turn them into bad people and ruin their lives. Please choose carefully. Please
- [Slowjamastan Declares War on Crocs, McDonald's Caught in the Crossfire](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2024/12/22/slowjamastan-declares-war-on-crocs-mcdonalds-caught-in-the-crossfire/) - BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER December 21st , 2024 Dublândia — In a dramatic move that sent shockwaves through the fast food and footwear industries, The Republic of Slowjamastan announced today that it will impose immediate sanctions on McDonald's, citing the company's recent collaboration with Crocs as "a blatant disregard for Slowjamastanian
- [Newly Re-Elected Sultan Graces Historic Brawley Parade](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2024/11/11/newly-re-elected-sultan-graces-historic-brawley-parade/) - ...Declares it 'A Close Second to the Slowjamastan Royal Procession' BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER November 10th, 2024 Brawley, CA: In an event that could only be described as “groundbreaking” (by those breaking out the lawn chairs), His Excellency The Sultan made his grand return to the United States last weekend,
- [Your Electronic Ballot: Slowjamastan General Election 2024](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2024/10/29/slowjamastan-general-election-2024/) - SCROLL DOWN TO VOTE Voting Instructions for the 2024 Republic of Slowjamastan Election: The Greatest Election Ever! Greetings, esteemed citizens of Slowjamastan! It’s that time again when we get to exercise our most sacred right: the right to choose among our most charismatic candidates who may or may not have ever
- [Sultan Crashes Heber Fall Fiesta, Claims He’s Just There for the Pumpkin Spice Diplomacy](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2024/10/28/heber-fall-fiesta-parade/) - BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER October 27th, 2024 Heber, CA - Last Saturday, residents of Heber were in for a wild ride as The Sultan of Slowjamastan himself rolled into town to join the annual Fall Fiesta Parade. Sporting aviator sunglasses and a smirk that could stop traffic, The Sultan was spotted
- [Upcoming Slowjamastan Shenanigans: When, Where, and Why You Can't Miss Out](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2024/09/24/upcoming-slowjamastan-shenanigans-when-where-and-why-you-cant-miss-out/) - The Sultan Returns: Blame NATO and a Parking Ticket, But We're Back! We know, we know—you’ve been asking, nay, DEMANDING, an event with The Sultan, and we sincerely apologize for the delay! Between rubbing elbows at the NATO Summit (they insisted on having The Sultan’s sage wisdom, obviously) and battling the endlessly dramatic United
- [Postal Service Debacle Leaves Passport in Limbo – Sultan to the Rescue!](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2024/10/21/postal-service-debacle-leaves-passport-in-limbo-sultan-to-the-rescue/) - BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER October 20th, 2024 Algiers - In the quiet hills of Tizi Ouzou, Algerian Mourad Tabti had just one dream: to hold in his hands the holy grail of citizenship—his very own Slowjamastani passport. With PayPal and Venmo not an option in his remote village, Mourad did what
- [The Sultan Snags 'Micronation of the Year' at the Royal Gala](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2024/09/24/aigues-mortes/) - Especially When There's Free Champagne Involved! BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER September 21st, 2024 Aigues-Mortes, France — In a night that will surely go down in the Official Guide to Micronational Awesomeness, The Republic of Slowjamastan's illustrious Sultan added some extra shimmer to his green suit by walking away with two of the
- [World Peace on Hold as Sultan Enters Intense Guacamole Challenge](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2024/08/04/san-diego-guac-off-food-bank-avocados-from-peru/) - August 1st, 2024 San Diego — In a highly anticipated return to the United States, The Sultan of Slowjamastan set foot on American soil with one mission: to defend his title as the reigning “Guacamole Guru” at the 2024 “Guac-Off” competition. The culinary world was abuzz with excitement, recalling the Sultan’s triumphant
- [Slowjamastan National Hockey Federation’s Whirlwind Paris Adventure: Six Hours of Glory](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2024/07/28/olympics-hockey-team/) - July 28th, 2024 Paris — In an extraordinary display of organizational prowess, the Slowjamastan National Hockey Federation descended upon Paris this week, ready to claim their stake in the 2024 Olympics. The only hitch? The Winter Games, and with them their precious ice hockey matches, won’t be gracing the world stage until February
- [The New Frontier: NATO Attendance for Slowjamastan!](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2024/07/16/sultan-attends-nato-summit/) - July 14th, 2024 Washington: Forget electricity and plumbing; those are mere trifles. The real ticket to legitimacy for Slowjamastan? A seat at the NATO Summit, of course! This past Monday, His Excellency The Sultan, accompanied by Chief Porder Batroller Mark Corona, ventured beyond the sacred borders of Slowjamastan. Their mission? To take
- [Bureaucratic BOMBSHELL: Sultan Sent to Superior Court](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2024/05/31/bureaucratic-bombshell-sultan-sent-to-superior-court/) - May 31st, 2024 San Diego: In a scandal that’s shaking the foundations of international relations (or at least a few parking garages), the Notorious D.I.C. (Dictator in Chief) of Slowjamastan will make his dramatic court appearance in America. The date? Mark your calendars for Wednesday, July 17th at 2:45PM. The charge? The
- [COURT TRANSCRIPTS (PARTIAL)](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2024/07/18/court-transcripts/) - Slowjamastan Public Information Department Below is the Sultan's official court statement and testimony for The United States v. The Sultan, which took place in San Diego Superior Court on July 17th, 2024 under the guidance and supervision of Judge John Nelson Blair. Note that The Sultan was only able to recite approximately
- [United States v. The Sultan](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2024/07/18/united-states-v-the-sultan-courtroon-shocker/) - July 18th, 2024 San Diego — International turmoil reached historic heights on Wednesday as the esteemed Sultan of Slowjamastan was summoned to San Diego Superior Court to contest the grievous accusation of illegal parking in the United States. The notorious parking debacle, which unfolded in March, has stirred both Slowjamastanis and Americans into
- [Nogales Welcomes Slowjamastan Dignitaries for Historic Visit](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2024/07/04/nogales/) - June 22nd, 2024 Nogales, AZ—In an event that could only be described as a cross-border camaraderie carnival, the Sultan of Slowjamastan and Chief Porder Batrol Agent graced the city of Nogales, Arizona with their presence this past Sunday. The Nogales Police Department pulled out all the stops for a special parking lot
- [Meet Harvey Schmidlap - News & Propaganda Director](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2024/06/25/meet-harvey-schmidlap-news-propaganda-director/) - Harvey Schmidlap, the esteemed News & Propaganda Director and Head Reporter for Slowjamastan State News, owes his prestigious position to none other than The Sultan—a man of discerning taste and an apparent knack for recognizing exceptional journalism potential in a sea of mediocrity. Having cut his teeth on hard-hitting exposés like "The Sultan's American
- [Benson Bewildered as Sultan's Spectacle Sweeps Through: Locals Question Whether Raccoon Diplomacy Will Fix Potholes](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2024/06/25/sultan-benson-arizona-visit/) - The highlight of the day occurred when The Sultan and his Chief Porder Batrol Agent, a figure of equally grandiose title and dubious necessity, descended upon The Horse Shoe Café in downtown Benson. Here, amid the clinking of silverware and the scraping of chairs, a breakfast summit of utmost importance unfolded. Benson’s
- [Does the Salton "See" Name Change in Future?](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2024/05/19/salton-sea-changing-name-to-sultan-sea/) - May 19th, 2024 Salton City, CA: This week, a measure was put on the ballot to rename The Salton Sea, The “Sultan” Sea, after our Dear Leader and lifetime-appointed father of Slowjamastan, His Excellency Randy Williams. “I’m voting yes,” says Mike Elvis, Minister of Tourism for the world’s newest nation. “What better
- [Guest Contribution: "I Visited The Sultan and all I got was This Lousy T-Shirt"](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2024/05/26/guest-contribution-i-visited-the-sultan-and-all-i-got-was-this-lousy-t-shirt/) - His Excellency is the most well-traveled person of his nation, and quite possibly, of all micronations. He [His Excellency] couldn't put his finger on when he came about the idea of traveling to every country but it was something that kind of just came to be. He [His Excellency] had traveled quite a
- [SULTAN UNDER SURVEILLANCE!](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2024/05/30/sultan-under-surveillance/) - May 30th, 2024 San Diego: We are notifying all Slowjamastani citizens and allies of some disturbing news. On Wednesday, May 29th, at approximately 10:05AM, Slowjamastani Intelligence was alerted that an unmarked American “law enforcement agency” vehicle was brazenly stationed across the street from our US Consulate in San Diego, California. After a
- [Sultan's Grand Caravan Rolls Through Arizona: Locals Brace for Royal Traffic Jam!](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2024/06/15/sultans-grand-caravan-rolls-through-arizona-locals-brace-for-royal-traffic-jam/) - June 15th, 2024 Dublândia: In a spectacle sure to rock the international stage, Slowjamastan's Minister of Foreign Affairs announced today that His Exalted Highness The Sultan, accompanied by the ever-vigilant Chief Porder Batrol Agent Mark Corona, will grace the roads of Arizona next weekend. This grandiose tour of diplomatic endeavors will see
- [Breaking News: Parking Ticket Sparks Tension Between Slowjamastan and United States](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2024/04/09/breaking-news-parking-ticket-sparks-tension-between-slowjamastan-and-united-states/) - April 9th, 2024 San Diego: In a shocking turn of events, the unbreakable bond between Slowjamastan and the United States has been rattled by a seemingly innocuous parking ticket. The incident, which occurred over the weekend, has sent shockwaves through diplomatic circles, leaving citizens on both sides of the alliance scratching their
- [Sultan's Act of Mercy: Croc-Criminal Granted Clemency Amid Border Standoff](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2024/05/08/crocs-are-illegal-in-this-country/) - Sultan Urges Serenity as Outraged Citizens Demand Answers BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER May 9th, 2024 Dublândia: In a shocking turn of events in The Republic of Slowjamastan, a nation known for its strict fashion laws and impeccable sense of style, two daring young females were apprehended for committing the gravest of
- [Slowjamastan Hits Big Time with Monopoly Feature... Well, Sort of.](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2024/05/10/monopoly/) - Sultan Achieves Board Game Fame BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER May 10th, 2024 El Centro, California, United States of America: Slowjamastanis collectively threw their hands up in joyous celebration upon discovering that their illustrious nation had secured a coveted spot on the revered American pastime, Monopoly. Oh, what a momentous occasion!
- [Royal Intervention: Sultan Enlists San Diego DA in Battle Against Contraband Clown Shoes](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2024/04/07/sultan-meets-with-da/) - Graciously, the Sultan remarked, "What an honor to host the esteemed D.A. in our humble abode and shed light on the nefarious Croc conundrum. For over a year, our land has been besieged by these dreadful shoes, and lo and behold, the trail leads straight to San Diego. If only we could plug
- [Sultan Hires Artistically Inclined Minister for Oil and Canvas Affairs](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2024/03/30/neil-myers/) - March 30th, 2024 In a move that has left the art world spinning on its easel, The Sultan has bestowed a brushstroke of brilliance upon his administration by appointing American artist Neil Myers as the Minister of Oil and Paint. The announcement has sent shockwaves through the political landscape, leaving many wondering
- [🚨 GIVEAWAY ALERT 🚨 Win a Trip to Slowjamastan or up to $1,000](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2024/03/04/win-a-trip/) - or up to $1,000 Cash! Introducing Slowjamastan's Tuesday Night Trivia, a live and interactive online game show taking place every Tuesday night at 6:00PM PST, 9PM EST! Join your host, Chief Porder Batrol Agent Mark Corona, along with your fellow Slowjamastanis around the world, for this fun and action-packed weekly quiz show challenge.
- [PLAY FOR FREE NOW: Slowjamastan Trivia](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2024/02/29/play-for-free-now-slowjamastan-trivia/) -  BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER February 28th, 2024 Dublândia: Have you heard? We're giving away up to $1,000 cash or a trip to Slowjamastan during Tuesday Night Trivia: a live, interactive online game show, hosted by Chief Porder Batrol Agent Mark Corona. While the game is reserved for our INSIDERS, we're
- [April 27th: Grand Unveiling in Slowjamastan (INVITE)](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2024/02/29/april-27th-grand-unveiling-in-slowjamastan-invite/) - BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER February 28th, 2024 Dublândia: Concerned citizens, passers-by and even American law enforcement agencies are showing growing concern over the unidentified and gargantuan steel object currently being constructed inside the borders of The Republic of Slowjamastan. It seems to be growing every day. What is it? How
- [MUST SEE: Tremendous National Tour (VIDEO)](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2024/02/29/must-see-tremendous-national-tour-video/) -  BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER February 28th, 2024 Dublândia: The meddling foreign media often gets us "wrong," as evidenced in so many "fake news" reports about our great nation. This month, however, we were pleased to see one organization finally get it right. The Sultan sends a swift mandate to
- [Slowjamastan Consulate in the USA: ALL-ACCESS TOUR](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2024/02/26/slowjamastan-consulate-in-the-usa-all-access-tour/) -  BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER February 25th, 2024 San Diego: Ah, brace yourselves for the latest spectacle from the Slowjamastan Department of Media and Communications! Behold, the grand unveiling of the 360-degree video tour showcasing their newest gem, the American Consulate in sunny San Diego, California. Prepare to be
- [New Passport Unboxing and Reveal: Republic of Slowjamastan](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2024/02/22/new-passport-unboxing-and-reveal-republic-of-slowjamastan/) -  BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER February 21st, 2024 Dublândia: Hot off the press, our Sultan and esteemed Parliament has just unveiled the most anticipated unboxing event of the century: introducing the (drumroll)...NEW PASSPORT! In a groundbreaking ceremony that lasted longer than the average wait time at the DMV, our
- [Win up to $1,000: Play Slowjamastan Trivia!](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2024/02/04/trivia/) - up to $1,000 or a Trip to Slowjamastan! Introducing Slowjamastan's Tuesday Night Trivia, a live and interactive online game show taking place every Tuesday night at 6:00PM PST, 9PM EST! Join your host, Chief Porder Batrol Agent Mark Corona, along with your fellow Slowjamastanis around the world, for this fun and action-packed weekly quiz
- [The Truth Revealed: The Sultan's Accent](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2024/01/25/the-truth-revealed-the-sultans-accent/) -  BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER January 25th, 2024 Dublândia: In a shocking revelation that left linguists bewildered and accents worldwide shaking in their phonetic boots, the Sultan of Slowjamastan finally spilled the beans on the enigma surrounding his sexy and mysterious accent. During a recent podcast hosted by Atlas
- [The Sultan Strikes Again: Diplomacy Dinner Crashed, Buffet Conquered!](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2023/11/15/sultan-crashes-international-ambassador-dinner-cuts-in-line-at-buffet-and-starts-small-talk/) - BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER November 14th, 2023 Havana: In a plot twist even Hollywood couldn't concoct, The Sultan recently graced Cuba with his royal presence, crashing a diplomatic dinner like it was a pizza party at Chuck E. Cheese. Because, naturally, Sultans are renowned for their subtle, understated entrances. "I was
- [Win a Passport and Slowjamastan Prize Pack!](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2023/11/30/win-a-passport-and-slowjamastan-prize-pack/) - Show Your Spirit, Win Prizes! In celebration of our country's independence, our generous Sultan is opening up his coffers and handing out free passports and prizes to those showing their love for Slowjamastan! 2. Include an enthusiastic "¡VIVA SLOWJAMASTAN!" for extra points! 3. Include YOU! We want to see and hear YOU! General
- [Happy Independence Day: What We've Learned in the Last Two Years of Running a Nation](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2023/12/01/happy-independence-day-what-weve-learned-in-the-last-two-years-of-running-a-nation/) - BY THE SULTAN l SUPREME LEADER December 1, 2023 Dublândia: December 1st, 2023 marks the two-year anniversary of independence for The People's Republic of Slowjamastan. It was on this very day, exactly two years ago, that The Sultan - accompanied by his best friend, Mark Corona - signed the now famous Declaration of
- [CYBER MONDAY SALE!](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2023/11/23/black-friday-sale-never-before-done/) - Black Friday Sale EXTENDED Through Monday We've never, ever had a "sale." But here's the deal...our nation is teetering on the brink of financial collapse and we need capital. So YOU win! Take advantage of these never before offered deals that will be GONE faster than The Sultan can throw a Croc-wearing, string cheese-chomping,
- [Ain't no Party Like a Slowjamastan Party!](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2023/09/15/6824/) - BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER September 9, 2023 You're cordially invited to Slowjamastan's (No) Croctober! Behold, a visual masterpiece awaits your perusal – The Sultan's cinematic invitation, lovingly crafted for your viewing pleasure:  Join The Sultan and Parliament in Slowjamastan on Saturday, October 7th at 4:00 PM for a
- [Sultan Shatters Guacamole Competition, Leaving Rivals Green with Envy](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2023/09/10/sultan-unleashes-guac-domination-on-garett-salsa-tears-flow/) - Sultan Shatters Guacamole Competition, Leaving Rivals Green with Envy BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER September 9, 2023 San Diego, CA, USA: In a truly groundbreaking culinary showdown, The Sultan, that legendary guacamole maestro, graced us with his presence at The San Diego Food Bank's "Guac-Off" extravaganza. Picture this: six teams, all competing
- [So you Became an Ambassador or Member of Parliament…Now What?](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2023/07/04/so-you-became-an-ambassador-or-member-of-parliamentnow-what/) - So you Became an Ambassador or Member of Parliament…Now What?
- [Hurricane Hillary Speeds Up Lazy River Construction](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2023/08/25/hurricane-hillary-speeds-up-lazy-river-construction/) - BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER August 21, 2023 Dublândia: In a twist that left experts baffled, Tropical Storm Hillary turned out to be the unexpected kick in the floaties that Slowjamastan's new Lazy River project desperately needed. As the storm clouds gathered, citizens excitedly grabbed their inflatable unicorns and swan rafts, ready
- [National TV and Radio](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2023/04/27/national-tv-and-radio/) - Slowjamastan's national radio station is Slow Jams Radio, aka "Sunday Night Slow Jams," which airs every Sunday night on over 200 radio stations in 17 countries. Our great leader, The Sultan Randy Williams, serves as the Program Director for and host for Sunday Night Slow Jams. CLICK HERE to find a station in your
- [The Sultan's ¡Glorious Guacamole! *RECIPE*](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2023/08/04/the-sultans-glorious-guacamole-recipe/) - Against his better judgment, The Sultan has agreed to share his top secret "¡Glorious Guacamole!" recipe with you. It was this same gallant guac that took first place during this year's Guac-Off at The San Diego Food Bank. The special dish, which took years of training at NCIS (National Culinary Institute of Slowjamastan), is
- [Department of Treasury](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2023/04/27/department-of-treasury/) - Currency: Dubles (rhymes with Russian "Rubles") Coins: Dubloons Secretary of Treasury: Dave Denes Federal Bank: Bank of Slowjamastan How can I purchase Dubles and Dubloons? Go HERE! How can I purchase Dubles and Dubloons? Go HERE!
- [ADVISORY: Shipping & Fulfillment Times](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2023/06/26/postal-advisory/) - Some items may be Delayed... Please be advised that due to a sudden and unexpected increase in demand, premium citizen listings, Parliament/Ambassador appointments and some merchandise shipments may be delayed. The Sultan thanks you profusely for your patience and understanding and is working overtime to fulfill all orders at the fastest rate humanly possible. After
- [First Visit to Slowjamastan by a Sitting President](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2023/05/21/first-visit-to-slowjamastan-by-a-sitting-president/) - BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER May 20th, 2023  Dublândia, Slowjamastan: Under 10,000 Slowjamastani citizens, neighbors, allies and onlookers flocked to The Republic to witness a Slowjamastan first, as the young but mighty nation welcomed its very first diplomatic visit from a sitting President. Meet The Republic of Molossia’s President
- [Sultan Infiltrates American Media: See His Excellency on The Kelly Clarkson Show](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2023/04/29/sultan-infiltrates-american-media-see-his-excellency-on-the-kelly-clarkson-show/) - BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER April 29th, 2023 Los Angeles: Our Dear Leader has once again infiltrated the American media, this time, appearing on NBC's The Kelly Clarkson Show, on Monday, May 1st. The Sultan said, "I have been training for this moment for years. It's finally time to represent our great
- [Slowjamastan Porder Batrol](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2023/04/27/porder-batrol-truck/) - In 2022, Slowjamastan Porder Batrol... Seized 427 pairs of Crocs Stopped 79 drivers who had their feet on the dashboard Constructed 14 feet of new border fence Destroyed 17 tunnels (later discovered to be just gophers, but still...) PORDER BATROL Slowjamastan Customs and Border Protection The Porder Batrol is a service of Slowjamastan Customs
- [Go Slow-Racer, Go!<br>Slowjamastan's Official Race Car Races in a Race!](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2022/09/22/go-slow-racer-goslowjamastans-official-race-car-races-in-a-race/) - Slowjamastan's Official Race Car Races in a Race!BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER September 21st, 2022  Buttonwillow, CA: A national anthem? Check. Currency? Check. Extremely handsome and charismatic leader? CHECK!!! Race car...that's a big ol' checkeroo! Thanks to Arne Carlson and a crew of some of the world's most skilled drivers and mechanics, this 2005 Dodge Neon SRT-4 ACR
- [Sultan Swings By 12 Nations<br>Diplomatic Mission Recap](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2023/01/26/sultan-swings-by-12-nations-trip-recap/) - BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER January 24, 2023 San Diego: It was wheels up once again in December, as our great Sultan continued his quest to see every country in the world. There are 193 nations on the planet. To date, our Sultan has visited all but one. That's right, 192 countries! We started
- [Where the Hose At? A Look at Slowjamastan's New Fire Engine](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2022/12/02/where-the-hose-at-a-look-at-slowjamastans-new-fire-engine/) - BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER October 29th, 2022 Dublândia, Slowjamastan: You can't protect a newly created nation from natural disasters without a fire engine, right? Thanks to Slowjamastan Director of Emergency Services, Rescue Rick, that liability is now covered. Rescue Rick said, "Slowjamastan's rugged and unforgiving land has long been susceptible to
- [Slowjamastan Postcard Set](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2022/07/23/slowjamastan-postcard-set/)
- [Rare Interview with The Sultan](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2022/07/21/rare-interview-with-the-sultan/) - American journalist Trevor Jones enjoys a rare sit-down with The Sultan and then makes the pilgrimage to Slowjamastan. In one of the most anticipated interviews of the decade, Jones inquires about Slowjamastan's land, language and laws. The Sultan opens his office and heart, in a heart-felt, no-holds barred, ten-minute intimate conversation. 
- [April Diplomatic Mission Re-Cap](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2022/06/12/april-diplomatic-mission-re-cap/) - BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER June 12th, 2022 Munich: Formerly classified documents and photos of The Sultan's March/April trip around the world were released this morning from state's Ministry of Communications. Here is a snapshot of The Sultan's 10-day diplomatic voyage around the world. Our Sultan is currently on a
- [New States of Slowjamastan Named, Sultan Sexy as Ever.](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2022/06/09/new-states-of-slowjamastan-named-sultan-sexy-as-ever/) - BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER June 1st, 2022  Dublândia, Republic of Slowjamastan: The Republic was bustling with excitement and activity last weekend as The Sultan and members of Parliament descended onto the sacred grounds for special ceremonies. But first, the people must eat! The nearby Blu In Café in The
- [News Alert: Unauthorized Nude Photo Shoot Stuns Sultan, Citizens](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2022/04/21/news-alert-unauthorized-nude-photo-shoot-stuns-sultan-citizens/) - BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER APRIL 20, 2022 Dublândia, Republic of Slowjamastan: At approximately 5:29PM Slowjamastan Standard Time, Slowjamastani Intelligence alerted The Office of The Sultan of two illegal aliens who managed to penetrate border security. "Your Excellency, there's been a breach," exclaimed a clearly upset but cool-headed Commander Matthew
- [NEWS ALERT: Sultan Names 100th Citizen](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2022/03/01/news-alert-sultan-names-100th-citizen/) - BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER FEBRUARY 18, 2022  Dublândia, Republic of Slowjamastan: It's official. The world's newest country has just named their 100th citizen. Meet Julia Ervin, from Las Vegas, Nevada, United States of America! "I can't believe it!" exclaimed an overly-excited and nearly in-tears Ervin. "This is the best
- ["That's One Big Ass Sign," Say Residents as Ground Breaking Commences](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2021/11/13/thats-one-big-ass-sign-say-residents-as-ground-breaking-commences/) - BY DIRK CUNNINGHAM l STAFF WRITER NOVEMBER 11, 2021  Dublândia, Republic of Slowjamastan: Drills be drillin’, hammers be hammerin’ and saws be sawin’. That was the scene earlier today in The Republic of Slowjamastan as ground was officially broken. The world’s newest nation was caught up in a flurry of activity today as
- ["New Country, Who Dis?" Sultan Declares Independence](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2021/12/12/new-country-who-dis-sultan-declares-indpendence/) - BY DIRK CUNNINGHAM l STAFF WRITER DECEMBER 1, 2021  Dublândia, Republic of Slowjamastan: At 12:26 Slowjamastan Standard Time, the Sultan took pen to paper and rocked the international community, signing a document that would declare independence for the 11-acre swath of desert paradise and give the Sultan, his land and the people
- [Meet The Sultan - Sunday, February 6th](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2022/01/05/meet-the-sultan-sunday-february-6th/) - BY DIRK CUNNINGHAM l STAFF WRITER JANUARY 4, 2022 Meet The Sultan - Sunday, February 6th Dublândia, Republic of Slowjamastan: The people cried out with joy today, after The Slowjamastan Ministry of Communications released the news that The Sultan will be appearing for a special meet and greet with the people this February. Deacon
- [Sign Up For Our Newsletter](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2021/11/13/sign-up-for-our-newsletter/) - Want to know when we will offer visas and tours? Or when we will open up opportunities for property and political office appointments? Be sure to sign up for our newsletter to receive updates from The Slowjamastan Ministry of Communications and maybe even personal communications from The Sultan himself! Our promise to you: We will
- [Sultan Unveils National Anthem](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2021/08/26/sultan-unveils-national-anthem/) - BY ALEXANDER BOFILL l STAFF WRITER AUGUST 25, 2021 The internet nearly broke this morning at around 10:17AM (Slowjamastan time), when the Ministry of Music, Art and Culture released the country's new (and first ever) National Anthem. The Sultan said, "There are always haters, but who can hate on such a beautiful melody and
- [Sultan Unveils Nation's Coat of Arms](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2021/09/09/sultan-unveils-nations-coat-of-arms/) - BY ALEXANDER BOFILL l STAFF WRITER SEPTEMBER 10, 2021 Coat of arms or coat of charms??? That's the question the world is asking after setting eyes on the newly-unveiled Slowjamastan coat of arms. Wednesday afternoon, The Sultan released the final version of the new country's national crest. The world is celebrating. Let's pick apart
- [Sultan Secures Land, Plans Secession](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2021/10/14/sultan-secures-land/) - BY DIRK CUNNINGHAM l STAFF WRITER OCTOBER 4, 2021 Imperial County, CA, USA: At around 2PM, Slowjamastan time today, it became official: The Sultan of Slowjamastan cementing a deal with the County of Imperial, California, USA, to procure a stretch of land located about 100 miles east of San Diego, California. At this moment
- [They See Me Rollin': Slowjamastan Fleet Unveiled One Vehicle at a Time](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2021/10/04/they-see-me-rollin-slowjamastan-fleet-unveiled-one-vehicle-at-a-time/) - BY ALEXANDER BOFILL l STAFF WRITER OCTOBER 3, 2021 They see me rollin'...they hatin'. That was the sound of the Sultan ridin' through the streets of Slowjamastan this weekend in his new Mercedes Benz, the first official state vehicle. "Watch me flex on these bitches," said an excited Sultan this Sunday afternoon, as he
- [Slowjamastan National Flag Unveiled](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2021/08/24/slowjamastan-national-flag-unveiled/) - BY ALEXANDER BOFILL l STAFF WRITER AUGUST 23, 2021 SAN DIEGO, CA - There was much fanfare and celebration this afternoon and the people of Slowjamastan rejoiced as The Sultan unveiled the nation's flag, sharing the design with the public for the first time, on television and social media. "This is a special day
- [Republic of Slowjamastan Bids for Land](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2021/08/22/republic-of-slowjamastan-bids-for-land/) - BY ALEXANDER BOFILL l STAFF WRITER AUGUST 20, 2021 SAN DIEGO, CA - You can't declare an independent nation if you don't have any land. Sultan Randy Williams know this first hand - and he decided to do something about it. Friday, His Excellency took one of the most important steps towards statehood when
- [Slowjamastan Flag Design Underway](https://www.slowjamastan.org/2021/08/22/slowjamastan-flag-design-underway/) - BY ALEXANDER BOFILL l STAFF WRITER AUGUST 20, 2021 SAN DIEGO, CA - This weekend, a very special project is taking place. Sources tell us the official design of the very first Flag of SlowJamastan is underway. The Sultan, along with key members of his cabinet, are working with an international design team to

## Pages

- [Home](https://www.slowjamastan.org/) - The World's Newest Nation Become a Citizen HERE Croc Threat Level: ANXIOUS APRICOT Freedom "R Dub!" Williams Slowjamastan Mark "Kid" Corona Batrol Agent El Rescue Rick Emergency Services Joe Lindsay positions available Now, you can have a piece of Slowjamastan for yourself. We're currently offering citizenship. Grab a passport in our shop. Even diplomatic and The world's newest and fastest growing micronation!
- [Premium Citizenship Listing](https://www.slowjamastan.org/premium/) - Slowjamastan Citizen Premium Listing Service recognition. They remain… unseen.)• You will receive an official, print-ready, embossed Citizenship Approval Decree and letter from the Ministry of Immigration—bearing the sacred seal and signature of The Sultan. (Digital transmission provided in both PDF and JPG formats for printing and public display.)• You are hereby
- [The Sultan](https://www.slowjamastan.org/the-sultan/) - His Excellency, Randy "R Dub!" Williams, Sultan of Slowjamastan When he's not ruling over the world's newest nation, our Dear Leader hosts an internationally syndicated radio show called Sunday Night Slow Jams, currently heard on over 200 radio stations across America. The show airs in major markets from New York City to San
- [History & FAQs](https://www.slowjamastan.org/history/) - Slowjamastan is an enclave completely surrounded by American territory. Our nation is accessible from California Highway 78, between the American cities of Ocotillo Wells and Westmoreland, California. You can learn more about our location HERE. Is The Republic of Slowjamastan really a country? You betcha. I don't believe you. A wise man
- [Submit Your Banishment Request Here...](https://www.slowjamastan.org/banishment-request/)
- [POOF! BE GONE!!! Banishment in Progress](https://www.slowjamastan.org/banishment-in-progress/) - Get Gone! This is FANTASTIC! You literally just banished a person from an ENTIRE country...You are SAVAGE!!! What happens next: Fill out the banishment form below. But first... Please do not use any foul language or include serious personal insults...this is meant to roast someone, not to slander them. Hate is not
- [Thank you for Becoming a Premium Citizen!](https://www.slowjamastan.org/premium-confirmed/) - You're on Way! Read below please... What happens next: We've received your application for PREMIUM CITIZEN status and are pleased to let you know that you are APPROVED! IMPORTANT NEXT STEPS: 1. Send us the name you'd like displayed (first, last) - and what COUNTRY you live in (or want to
- [Buy a Brick](https://www.slowjamastan.org/buy-a-brick/) - Buy a Brick and Leave Your Legacy Engrave up to three lines of text with 20 characters per line... Recognize a special person in your life. Honor a casual effort. Commemorate a special occasion. The possibilities are endless.
- [David Stitt: Designated Dave of Slowjamastan](https://www.slowjamastan.org/david/) - David Stitt Designated Dave of Slowjamastan I’m married, have two sons, & love the 3 B’s in life: burritos, the beach…& the 3rd one you could guess (hint: Bs are good, but I prefer a minimum of a C). I’m currently pursuing my Bachelor’s degree in Information Technology, which should leverage a permanent move
- [Members of Office](https://www.slowjamastan.org/parliament/) - Randy "R Dub!" Williams Sultan of Slowjamastan corona chief border AGENT EMERGENCY SERVICES LINDSAY DIRECTOR LAND MANAGEMENT RICHARDS PRESS SECRETARY GENERAL CONDE SPECIAL FORCES DENES secretary TREASURY CENISEROS CROWN PRINCE GENTILE DIRECTOR S3 Donneaud Director of Misdirection KERR AMBASSADOR INDIANA TERRITORY MCKAY Minister of Crafts & Napping SOLAR director of counter intelligence pancake MINISTER
- [Bea Gouda: Minister of Crafts & Napping](https://www.slowjamastan.org/bae/) - Sooner "Bea Gouda" McKay Minister of Crafts & Napping I reside in Colorado and have spent much of my life exploring creativity, storytelling, community-building, and the occasional absurd adventure. Eventually, my search for the perfect nation led me to Slowjamastan. To me, Slowjamastan is the ideal Step-Mother Nation—a place that embraces humor, humanity, individuality, and
- [Caulin Kightlinger: Ambassador to Huntington Beach](https://www.slowjamastan.org/caulin/) - Caulin Kightlinger Ambassador to American South I am originally from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania and now reside in Huntington Beach, California. One of the things that attracted me to Slowjamastan was the creativity, humor, and strong sense of community that citizens and ambassadors bring to the Republic. As Ambassador to Huntington Beach, my goal is to help
- [National Anthem](https://www.slowjamastan.org/national-anthem/) - Slowjamastan National Anthem: "Slowjamastan (I Think It's Gonna Be an Awesome Place)"  song credits Written by: Sultan Randy Williams Performed by: Shelton John Music by: Elton John and Bernie Taupin (permission pending) ©2021 Slowjamastan Ministry of Music, Art and Culture *** SIGN THE PETITION FOR ELTON JOHN TO SING OUR ANTHEM
- [Jack Bagley: Minister of Trivia](https://www.slowjamastan.org/jack/) - Jack Bagley Minister of Trivia Native of Chicago, currently a resident of the lovely town of Waverly Hall, Georgia. My "day job" is editor of three weekly newspapers and writer of an award-winning trivia column. I also am a radio newscaster and a weekend tour guide at a local Wild Animal Safari. In my
- [ROB DOB: MINISTER OF AIR TRAFFIC CONTROL AND AIR SPORTS](https://www.slowjamastan.org/rob/) - I hold dual certifications in “Winging It” and “It’ll Probably Be Fine,” with an honorary doctorate in “You Probably Shouldn’t Do That, But I Kind of Want to See What Happens.” Under my watch, Slowjamastan’s skies remain 100% safe, 100% fun, and 0% FAA-approved—just the way the Supreme Leader likes it.
- [Ambassador to Florida: Robert DiFerdinando](https://www.slowjamastan.org/diferdinando/) - Robert DiFerdinando Ambassador to Florida Ambassador DiFerdinando holds a 40+ year career in fire rescue service and is currently a Chief Officer, retiring soon. DiFerdinando also spent 20+ years as an instructor at University Miami School of Medicine, teaching post graduate medical education to paramedics, firefighters, nurses and doctors. He is a 25+ year owner
- [Ryan James: Duke of Slowjamastan](https://www.slowjamastan.org/ryan/) - Ryan James Duke of Slowjamastan I come to Slowjamastan from England, having spent the last year working on a small overseas remote island in the middle of the South Atlantic Ocean I gained a greater understanding of small communities and what it takes to thrive. I am keen to bring this knowledge with me to
- [Charles Bailey: Minister of Drone Aviation & Technology](https://www.slowjamastan.org/charles/) - • Owner of Norse Drone Operations LLC. • FAA Part 107 Certified Remote Pilot. • Specializes in thermal search-and-rescue operations. • Has supported search missions across multiple states. • Enjoys aviation, geology, technology development, and outdoor adventure. • Strong advocate for using technology to solve real-world challenges. Personal Motto “Innovation in the sky, service on
- [Tyler Klein: Ambassador to Arizona](https://www.slowjamastan.org/tyler/) - Tyler Klein Ambassador to Arizona Im Tyler Klein, I grew up in Arizona and have been lucky to travel 47 of the 50 states. When I'm not at work you will find me on my Harley or helping run some non-profits. I look to serving my country of slowjamastan with such great pride as the
- [Citizens](https://www.slowjamastan.org/citizens/) - Citizens of Slowjamastan: Current Population: 31,000+ registered citizens (updated April 2026). Order your Slowjamastan National ID (Driving/Fishing License) HERE. If you applied for citizenship, find your name at the bottom of this page. Want your photo, flag and name on this page? Apply for PREMIUM citizenship HERE! >>> PAGE TWO If you are
- [Thor Finnegan: Minister of Processed Meats](https://www.slowjamastan.org/thor/) - Thor Finnegan Minister of Processed Meats Thor Finnegan hails from La Grange, Kentucky, where he serves his community as a real estate investor, stand-up comedy writer, and dedicated connoisseur of cured meat products. A United States Marine Corps veteran, Thor brings the same discipline he once applied to serving his country to consuming an entire
- [Become an Ambassador or Member of Parliament Today!](https://www.slowjamastan.org/insiders/) - • Your own official title (respect will follow) • Your own government webpage (history will remember) • Free gifts (because loyalty is rewarded) • Access to the Sultan’s Secret Podcast (classified vibes only) • Official Slowjamastan business cards (intimidation tool) • Camping passes (luxury in the desert, obviously) • And more privileges not discussed
- [Robert Dixon: Minister of Power & Energy](https://www.slowjamastan.org/robert/) - Robert Dixon Minister of Power & Energy Minister Dixon serves as Minister of Power & Energy and is a consultant, researcher, and lifelong student of science and technology. Having traveled extensively for education, work, and cultural experiences, I bring a global perspective to my work in power systems, energy, and STEM research. A devoted father
- [Zulius Caesar: Ambassador to Switzerland](https://www.slowjamastan.org/zulius/) - Sergen Zulji Ambassador to Switzerland Diplomat with humor & a nerdy heart Coffee & wine enthusiast 🍷 Ballet fan (yes, really 😄) Fitness Metal 🤘 Sci-Fi Music lover from classical to jazz, but metal & electronic music feel like home Former DJ (electronic), now retired… or undercover 👀 Fluent in German, Swiss German, English, Bosnian,
- [Name a State](https://www.slowjamastan.org/name-a-state/) - -Official federal recording of new state name (yours!) -Identifying sign at entrance to state -Instant citizenship and state governor title -Passport and ID -Personal meet and greet with the Sultan -TV feature on the Slowjamastan News Network -Visa-free access to Slowjamastan -Slowjamastan prize pack -This is not a lease or any ownership of property
- [CITIZENS](https://www.slowjamastan.org/citizens-laws-misc/) - Citizens of Slowjamastan: Current Population: 31,000+ registered citizens (updated April 2026). Order your Slowjamastan National ID (Driving/Fishing License) HERE. If you applied for citizenship, find your name at the bottom of this page. Want your photo, flag and name on this page? Apply for PREMIUM citizenship HERE!
- [James Gray: Ambassador to Great Britain](https://www.slowjamastan.org/james/) - James Gray Ambassador To Great Britain Greetings, distinguished citizens, curious onlookers, and enemies of proper footwear. I am James Gray, Ambassador of the Republic of Slowjamastan to the United Kingdom. Proudly serving His Excellency Randy Williams and spreading the sacred message of international friendship, controlled chaos, and opposition to Crocs. My diplomatic duties include, Strengthening
- [ONE LINE FROM YOU: Help us Sing Our National Anthem](https://www.slowjamastan.org/sing/) - Remember "We are the World?" For our 5th Anniversary of Independence, we're producing a special version of our National Anthem sung by passionate citizens from all around the world - each line will be sung by someone from a different country! Want to be a part of history - part of this song -
- [Ezra Moshe: Secretary of Guitarists](https://www.slowjamastan.org/ezra/) - Ezra Moshe Secretary of Guitarists Ezra Moshe serves as the first-ever Secretary of Guitarists for the Republic of Slowjamastan and is the bassist for Mad Existence. A lifelong musician known for heavy riffs, loud amps, and defending the honor of bassists everywhere, Ezra entered politics after years of surviving on gas station energy drinks and
- [Location](https://www.slowjamastan.org/location/) - Interested in having a state named after you? Get information HERE. • Permanent population • Defined territory • Government • Capacity to enter relations with other states Slowjamastan proudly fulfills all four conditions with glorious efficiency and moderate confusion. Nowhere in Montevideo Convention does it state that “recognition” by other nations is
- [Mark Corona](https://www.slowjamastan.org/corona/) - Mark Corona Chief Border Agent Even the most skilled coyotes and bandits won't escape the eagle eye of Agent Corona. In charge of our nation's borders and immigration, Agent Corona leads a specialized team of Porder Batrol Agents committed to the security and sovereignty of our sacred lands. Their mission statement: Hoes in, Crocs
- [Carl Jaeger Storm: Minister of War and Defence](https://www.slowjamastan.org/carl/) - Carl Jaeger Storm Minister of War and Defence I have an extensive military background, having served 23 years in the Swedish Armed Forces as a Coastal Ranger (Sweden’s equivalent of a Navy SEAL), including time as a sniper. Throughout my career, I completed multiple deployments: three tours in Iraq, three in Afghanistan, two in Somalia,
- [Passport - INTERNATIONAL (NON-USA) ORDERS ONLY](https://www.slowjamastan.org/passport/) - INTERNATIONAL (NON-USA) ORDERS ONLY IMPORTANT INFORMATION: PLEASE READ ALL OF THE DETAILS ON THIS PAGE CAREFULLY: This order page is for persons OUTSIDE of the USA wishing to order a Slowjamastan passport. IF YOU ARE INSIDE THE USA, DO NOT ORDER FROM THIS PAGE AND INSTEAD GO HERE. NOT A VALID PASSPORT
- [Matthew Boone: Minister of Finance](https://www.slowjamastan.org/matthewb/) - Matthew Boone Minister of Finance I live on a dirt road in Madison County, Montana, about as far off the grid as you can get, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. After a career as a real estate broker and home builder, backed by an MBA in Finance, I’ve traded deadlines for fly
- [Daniel Perez: Transportation Secretary of Slowjamastan](https://www.slowjamastan.org/danielp/) - Daniel Perez Transportation Secretary of Slowjamastan Daniel Perez serves as the Sultan’s primary architect for all things that move, groove, and bypass traffic within our glorious borders. A seasoned expert in infrastructure and road development from the Dallas-Fort Worth region, Secretary Perez brings a "Big Texas" vision to the sovereign lands of Slowjamastan." About the
- [Driving/Fishing License now Available!](https://www.slowjamastan.org/dl/) - Be the FIRST!!! GO HERE to purchase the Slowjamatsan Driving/Fishing "All-in-One" License! Click HERE to secure yours now!
- [Contact Us](https://www.slowjamastan.org/contact-us/) - Newsletter: Want to know when we declare independence? Visas and tours? Or when we will open up opportunities for property and political office appointments? Be sure to sign up for our newsletter. We will never, ever spam you or sell/give away your infomation. Sultan-swear. * indicates required Email Address * First Name Last Name
- [Is Cactus Cooler Truly the National Drink of Slowjamastan? Questions Arise After CBS Feature](https://www.slowjamastan.org/cactuscooler/) - BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER April 10th, 2026 SLOWJAMASTAN — A growing debate is quietly stirring across the Republic: is Cactus Cooler officially the national drink of Slowjamastan, or has the title been assumed without formal decree? The discussion gained new momentum following a recent CBS 8 San Diego feature by American
- [Citizenship Application](https://www.slowjamastan.org/apply/) - Become a Slowjamastan Citizen! Becoming a Slowjamastani is easy! Just fill out the form below and you're in! *** MAKE SURE TO READ THE INSRUCTIONS THAT POP UP ON THE SCREEN AFTER YOU SUBMIT YOUR APPLICATION *** Citizenship (including name listing) is free. If you'd like an official, signed citizenship letter from The
- [Visit](https://www.slowjamastan.org/visit/) - Visit The United Territories of The Sovereign Nation of The People's Republic of Slowjamastan
- [Press Room / Media](https://www.slowjamastan.org/press/) - Press & Media Inquiries: Email info (at) slowjamastan (dot) org EXTRA! EXTRA!               
- [Diplomatic Relations Policy](https://www.slowjamastan.org/diplomatic/) - The Republic of Slowjamastan is sovereign. Independent. Glorious. We extend the hand of friendship to all people, all lands, and all those bold enough to declare their place among nations. We welcome friendly relations with all. But let there be no confusion in the international village. Effective August 26th, 2022, the Republic of
- [List of Official Federal Holidays and Observances](https://www.slowjamastan.org/list-of-official-federal-holiday-and-observances/) - We celebrate the birthday of our Chief Border Patrol Agent January 23rd - Rene Nicholson Day We celebrate the birthday of Governess of the State of Bucksylvania February 21st - Christopher Booth Day We celebrate the birthday of Secretary of State February 28th - Samantha Speckmeyer Day We celebrate the birthday of Governess
- [We’re Crowdfunding an Airport. Yes, Really](https://www.slowjamastan.org/airport/) -  Slowjamastan International Airport is Coming...With Your Help Okay, yes—we have technically been talking about a “Lazy River” since 2021. And yes, it has yet to… materialize. But we appreciated how enthusiastically you pretended it was a real thing. Who knows? One day we might build a Lazy River. And one day
- [OFFICIAL NOTICE FROM THE MINISTRY OF BASIC READING SKILLS](https://www.slowjamastan.org/instructions/) - You are conditionally approved - consider yourself a Slowjamastani...but not so fast! Slowjamastani Intelligence will be verifying that you followed our social media accounts. If you did - then you're golden! Your name will appear on our Citizens Page sometime between 48 hours and 90 days. You will not receive an email or confirmation. Simply check the Citizens
- [James Galyon: Ambassador to Selma AL](https://www.slowjamastan.org/jamesg/) - James Galyon Ambassador to Selma Developer | Tech Enthusiast | Diplomat Welcome to my corner of the web. I’m a Selma, Alabama-based developer and technologist with a passion for building, testing, and exploring the digital frontier. From coding retro-inspired games in Python and React to managing self-hosted security via Vaultwarden, I thrive at the intersection of creativity and
- [Consulate](https://www.slowjamastan.org/consulate/) -  Consulate of The Republic of Slowjamastan REQUEST APPOINTMENT
- [Jared Meade: Ambassador to Topeka Kansas](https://www.slowjamastan.org/jared/) - Jared Meade Ambassador to Topeka Kyle Veigel is a Minnesota original, born and raised near the East Side of Saint Paul, with a brief but formative detour to the mountains of Colorado before returning home, as tradition demands. He is married to Jennifer and is the proud father of one teenage son, Jaxson. A devoted
- [Kyle Veigel: Ambassador to Minnesota](https://www.slowjamastan.org/kyle/) - Kyle Veigel Ambassador to Minnesota Kyle Veigel is a Minnesota original, born and raised near the East Side of Saint Paul, with a brief but formative detour to the mountains of Colorado before returning home, as tradition demands. He is married to Jennifer and is the proud father of one teenage son, Jaxson. A devoted
- [Slowjamastan Telecom](https://www.slowjamastan.org/phone/) - 
- [Hear ye, Hear ye, Sheriff Miramontes and the Esteemed Imperial County Sheriff’s Department!](https://www.slowjamastan.org/icso/) - You are cordially summoned to the grandiose, semi-official, possibly chaotic, and entirely unforgettable ribbon-cutting ceremony of your very own V.I.P. parking spot in the glorious Republic of Slowjamastan on Sunday, January 25th. Before you arrive, please watch this video showcasing your legendary parking spot—it’s practically a national treasure. Join The Sultan
- [Greetings, Guardians of California State Parks!](https://www.slowjamastan.org/csp/) - You are cordially summoned to the grand, semi-official, and delightfully absurd ribbon-cutting ceremony of your very own V.I.P. parking spot in the illustrious Republic of Slowjamastan on Sunday, January 25th. Before you arrive, please watch this video highlighting your prestigious parking spot—it’s practically a monument.  Join The Sultan in person (he
- [Attention, Esteemed Agents of the Border Patrol El Centro Sector](https://www.slowjamastan.org/cbp/) - You are officially summoned to the grand, semi-official, and absolutely unforgettable ribbon-cutting ceremony of your very own V.I.P. parking spot in the illustrious Republic of Slowjamastan on Sunday, January 25th. Before arriving, please watch this video showcasing your prestigious parking spot—it’s basically historic.  Join The Sultan in person (he promises
- [Crown Prince Andrew: Secretary of Army in Republic of Slowjamastan](https://www.slowjamastan.org/andrewc/) - Crown Prince Andrew Secretary of Army in Republic of Slowjamastan Crown Prince Andrew never expected his most difficult assignment to be Secretary of the Army in the Republic of Slowjamastan. Appointed after a vote that lasted less than a minute, he quickly discovered that Slowjamastan’s military operated on an entirely different rhythm. Soldiers marched only
- [Public Files](https://www.slowjamastan.org/public-files/) - Here in the majestic Republic of Slowjamastan, we pride ourselves on our dazzling diplomacy, borderline transparency, and our valiant attempts at maintaining “friendly-ish” relations with everyone—from neighboring micronations to that one guy who keeps emailing us about Crocs. This sacred scroll (a.k.a. this webpage) features a curated selection of unclassified governmental ramblings. Naturally, anything remotely
- [Hear ye, Hear ye, Sheriff Miramontes and the Esteemed Imperial County Sheriff’s Department!](https://www.slowjamastan.org/isco/) - You are cordially summoned to the grandiose, semi-official, possibly chaotic, and entirely unforgettable ribbon-cutting ceremony of your very own V.I.P. parking spot in the glorious Republic of Slowjamastan on Sunday, January 25th. Before you arrive, please watch this video showcasing your legendary parking spot—it’s practically a national treasure. Join The Sultan
- [LAWS](https://www.slowjamastan.org/laws/) - Slowjamastan Laws, Statutes and Regulations: The following laws, statutes and regulations are hereby set forth by The Slowjamastan Federal Police as formed during the Throckmorton Convention and may be updated, amended, added to or deleted at any time. Crocs are not allowed inside the Republic of Slowjamastan Punishment for
- [National Director of Insurance: Noah Bacon](https://www.slowjamastan.org/bacon/) - National Director of Insurance Noah Bacon Noah Bacon is a positive and social man. Known for balancing professionalism with a steady, approachable demeanor. When working in the insurance industry, Noah focuses on helping clients navigate complex situations with clarity and confidence. Away from the desk, he’s an avid sports fan, especially the Michigan Wolverines, Tampa Bay
- [Count Cranton: Ambassador to Ohio](https://www.slowjamastan.org/cranton/) - Count Cranton Ambassador of Slowjamastan to Ohio Count Cranton, our awesome Slowjamastan ambassador from Ohio, totally gets unity, being independent, and everyone being themselves. He's always working on making connections, sharing cultures, and making sure everyone feels welcome. He's also super strict about no crocs allowed at the embassy! He's a leader who gets things
- [Frank Sloup: Slowjamastan's Czar of Your/You're](https://www.slowjamastan.org/frank/) - Frank Sloup Czar of Your/You're Frank Sloup, Slowjamastan’s Czar of Your/You’re, bravely protects the nation from grammatical doom. Armed with a red pen and zero mercy, he punishes every “your welcome” and “you’re hat” with swift justice. In alliance with the Department of Their/They’re/There Enforcement, Sloup is our first line of defense, ensuring Slowjamastan remains
- [Christopher Faulkner: Sandman & Grand Poobah](https://www.slowjamastan.org/sandman/) - Christopher Faulkner Sandman & Grand Poobah "As a sovereign state with lots of sand, Slowjamastan needs a Sandman, to count the sand in the Republic (although I will most likely outsource this important mission), maintain time (the Republic needs efficient time keeping hour glasses), help people sleep (a specialty of the Sandman), and keep the
- [WANTED: Videographer for The Sultan](https://www.slowjamastan.org/video/) - World's Newest Nation in Search of Official State Videographer The Republic of Slowjamastan — a completely unnecessary, yet somehow functioning “nation” founded in 2021 by two best friends and longtime radio misfits — is now hiring its first official videographer. Over the past three years, we’ve built an actual country out of desert
- [Prince Seraj: Prince of Slowjamastan](https://www.slowjamastan.org/seraj/) - Prince Seraj Prince of Slowjamastan Meet Prince Seraj of Slowjamastan, a royal who lives life in the fast lane—literally. While others might spend their days waving from palace balconies, Seraj prefers racing go-karts at full speed. For him, it’s not just about winning—it’s about the thrill, the focus, and the freedom that comes with every
- [Anthony Joseph Tartaglia II: Minister of Tortugan Wisdom](https://www.slowjamastan.org/anthony-j/) - Anthony Tartaglia II Minister of Tortugan Wisdom The Honorable Minister of Tortugan Wisdom, Minister Anthony [Tortuga] Tartaglia II, stands as a beacon of wisdom and strategic insight within the esteemed halls of The Republic of Slowjamastan. Minister Tortuga was born in The United States of America, has ancestral ties to Italy, and a unique respect,
- [Help Wanted (Labor)](https://www.slowjamastan.org/help-wanted-labor/) - -Videographers (APPLY HERE) -Skilled fence installers -Concrete layers/masons -Pole and sign installers (pole dancers are welcome, too - someone's gotta keep the workers entertained!) -Sculptors (art, statues, monuments) -Vehicle wraps -Deputies (security, to check on the property when you can) -Pie, taco and moonshine and makers -Ambassadors and Parliament members (APPLY HERE) We pay very
- [Banishments](https://www.slowjamastan.org/banishments/) - Organization: n/a Crime: "This self-proclaimed "Croc King" is now established by Guinness (not the beer firm, they have better taste) as a world wretched holder for owning more than 3800 pairs of Crocs. This man is basically the Anti-Sultan and has the audacity to propose one day building an affront to humanity known as "Crocseum".
- [Ambassador of Space Administration: Robert DiFerdinando](https://www.slowjamastan.org/robert-d/) - Robert DiFerdinando Ambassador of Space Administration In a bold move that absolutely no one saw coming (because they weren’t looking up), Robert DiFerdinando has been officially appointed as Slowjamastan’s first — and only — Ambassador of Space Administration. The title, created just moments before he was given it, was the last available position not already
- [Media Assets](https://www.slowjamastan.org/media/) - You may download Slowjamastan press assets below. Our kit includes: 1. Stills and videos of Slowjamastan 2. Stills and videos of Randy's world travel highlights 3. Photo license and courtesy information >>> DOWNLOAD OUR PRESS ASSETS HERE
- [Carla Green: Ambassador to Temecula](https://www.slowjamastan.org/carla/) - Carla Green Ambassador to Temecula Introducing Carla Green, our illustrious Ambassador to the exotic and world-renowned city of Temecula! Carla, with her vast expertise in wine tasting and knowledge of suburban vineyards, is uniquely qualified to represent our nation in this thriving metropolis. With her finely tuned palate, she can spot a good chardonnay from
- [](https://www.slowjamastan.org/survey/) - Create your own user feedback survey
- [Christopher R. Booth - Secretary of State](https://www.slowjamastan.org/chris/) - Every February 21st, ghostly raccoons rise to scavenge once more! The Fae Ice Winter Festival honors these mischievous spirits with bin toppling, midnight chittering, and sacred offerings of discarded snacks. Join the chaos—embrace their blessing or risk a year of minor inconveniences. Secure your trash… if you dare!
- [Jasmine: Empress](https://www.slowjamastan.org/empress/) - Jasmine Stinson Empress Jasmine Stinson, Empress, single mom of a teenage boy, living in a small town in Nevada, like to hike, collect rocks, swim, and find any other way to have fun where there's nothing but horrible people and dirt.
- [Receive Updates from The Sultan](https://www.slowjamastan.org/receive-updates-from-the-sultan/) - Want to know when we will offer visas and tours? Or when we will open up opportunities for property and political office appointments? Be sure to sign up for our newsletter to receive updates from The Slowjamastan Ministry of Communications and maybe even personal communications from The Sultan himself! Our promise to you: We will
- [Coming Soon: The Sultan's Lazy River™](https://www.slowjamastan.org/coming-soon-the-sultans-lazy-river/) - Coming in 2025: The Sultan's Lazy River™ Introducing The Sultan’s Lazy River™: the ultimate family adventure! Float your way to excitement as you lazily drift through a maze of gentle currents, with all the thrills of a pool noodle and none of the danger. Perfect for those who prefer relaxation over actual adventure. Want to
- [Visa Application](https://www.slowjamastan.org/visa/) - ATTENTION: A Visa is required to enter The Republic of Slowjamastan. Fill out the application below...
- [Visa Application: RESULTS](https://www.slowjamastan.org/results/) - RESULTS: Conditional Approval Hooray! You've been approved! How excited are you?! IMPORTANT NOTE: By entering Slowjamastan, you have agreed to release all liability and hold The Republic of Slowjamastan LLC harmless should you become injured or die during your visit to Slowjamastan. You understand that most of the nation is rugged, desert terrain
- [Porder Wall Plaque - Check Spelling](https://www.slowjamastan.org/plaque/) - Please confirm your name is on plaque. Names are listed alphabetically, by first name. If you see any errors, email sultan@slowjamastan.org ASAP. We're going to begin production on this monster THIS WEEK! You can press CTRL+F and type your name to search the text below. AARON SOLAR ADAM VICTOR ADDISON GENTILE ADRIENNE
- [The Latest from The Sultan](https://www.slowjamastan.org/updates/) - The latest news from The Sultan drops here...
- [Greetings from Slowjamastan!](https://www.slowjamastan.org/tv/) - "Nothing Else Like It!" Greetings from Slowjamastan! sizzle concept reel: contact: info (#) slowjamastan.org (replace the number sign with the "at" sign) Now searching for producers, show runners, writers, investors, etc. Someone who will take us, our idea and run with it. The video speaks for itself. The series and surrounding assets
- [THESE "DADS" BROUGHT THEIR KIDS TO BURGLARIZE AND DESTROY SLOWJAMASTAN](https://www.slowjamastan.org/reward/) - "Good job, dude," says Father of the Year, After he Hands Son Crow Bar UPDATE 12/30: SUSPECTS FROM ORANGE COUNTY HAVE BEEN IDENTIFIED. UPDATE 12/31: We have been instructed to make no further comments as this is an ongoing investigation. We will return with full details when we can. For now,
- [Aaron Solar: Director of Counter Intelligence](https://www.slowjamastan.org/aaron/) - Aaron Solar Director of Counter Intelligence A graduate of the University of New Hampshire, Aaron is CFO & CIO of one of the world's most premier government contractors supporting the Intelligence Community. With a focus on miles and points, his goal to visit at least 4 new countries per year. Aaron lives in Annapolis, MD
- [KAPIL UDDIN: MINISTER OF COMMERCE](https://www.slowjamastan.org/kapil/) - Uddin Minister of Commerce I’m Mr. Kapil Uddin, a seasoned entrepreneur originally from Bangladesh and now based in Malaysia. With a strong track record of building successful ventures, I own and operate several thriving businesses, including Pacific Restaurant & Bar, Pacific Supper Cafe, and Huda Overseas, specializing in import and export. As an active
- [Jonas Schmidt: Ambassador of Slowjamastan to Germany](https://www.slowjamastan.org/jonas/) - Jonas Schmidt Ambassador of Slowjamastan to Germany Born in 2001 in Schwerin and now residing in Hamburg, Jonas Schmidt is a humorous and dedicated wheelchair user who firmly believes in the freedom of every individual. With a passion for opera, ballet, classical music, Japanese culture, and anime, Jonas brings a creative and open-minded perspective to
- [Jeremy Kerr: Ambassador-at-Large for the Indiana Territory](https://www.slowjamastan.org/jeremy/) - Jeremy Kerr Ambassador-at-Large for the Indiana Territory Jeremy David Kerr serves as Ambassador-at-Large for Indiana and surrounding territories under the United Territories of the Sovereign Nation of Slowjamastan. A veteran M1A1 Armor Crew Member with two tours in Operation Iraqi Freedom, Jeremy exemplifies dedication, resilience, and leadership. As Count of Ladonia and an advocate for
- [Breanna Martinez: Director of Bean and Cheese Burrito Affairs](https://www.slowjamastan.org/breanna/) - Breanna Martinez Lynch Director of Bean and Cheese Burrito Affairs Tireless advocate of bean and cheese burritos, frequent concert enthusiast, mountain wanderer with a pickle in hand, and devoted lover of my tiny human. TikTok
- [Alessandro At Large: Minister of Governing Finance](https://www.slowjamastan.org/alessandro/) - Ambassador At large Minister of Governing Finance Born in Italy to an Italian businessman and a Cuban dancer, I bring a rich cultural background and a diverse set of skills to everything I pursue. Fluent in multiple languages, I thrive on learning, seeking the truth, and continually expanding my horizons. My passions include racing
- [Max Ellenberg: Chief of Track & Field](https://www.slowjamastan.org/max/) - Ellenberg Chief of Track & Field My name is Max Ellenberg. I’m a proud New Yorker with a passion for raccoons, a strong appreciation for women, and an unapologetic hatred of Crocs. A three-time All-American runner-up in track and field, I'm ready to represent Slowjamastan in the Olympics when the world finally recognizes our
- [Your Electronic Ballot: Slowjamastan General Election 2024](https://www.slowjamastan.org/vote/) - SCROLL DOWN TO VOTE Voting Instructions for the 2024 Republic of Slowjamastan Election: The Greatest Election Ever! Greetings, esteemed citizens of Slowjamastan! It’s that time again when we get to exercise our most sacred right: the right to choose among our most charismatic candidates who may or may not have ever
- [Thanks for Your Vote!](https://www.slowjamastan.org/vote-received/) - Sign up to be a citizen HERE. It's quick and free. On behalf of The esteemed Sultan of Slowjamastan, along with his loyal cabinet of ministers and directors—and, of course, the remarkable citizens of Slowjamastan—our sincerest thanks for your vote! Rest assured, you have chosen wisely! You may CLICK HERE to vote
- [Slowjamastan & United States Law Enforcement Cooperation and Alliance](https://www.slowjamastan.org/police/) - The Republic of Slowjamastan: A Beacon of Harmony in Crocs-Free Collaboration In a world teeming with complexities, there shines a beacon of hope and unity – The Republic of Slowjamastan. Nestled somewhere between the realms of imagination and reality, Slowjamastan boasts a robust alliance with countless American law enforcement agencies. A land
- [About](https://www.slowjamastan.org/about/) - Founded: September 16th, 2021 Independence: December 1st, 2021 Leader: His Excellency Supreme Sultan Randy "R Dub!" Williams (see Sultan's bio HERE.) Capital: Dublândia Demonym: Slowjamastani Population: Slowjamastan has a population of over 20,000 citizens living around the world in over 120 countries States: 13 (You can name one HERE!) Political System: Dictatorship (on most
- [BULK PURCHASE DEAL - INSIDERS ONLY](https://www.slowjamastan.org/pin/)
- [Anthony Ramirez: Minister of Cerveza](https://www.slowjamastan.org/anthonyr/) - Anthony Ramirez Minister of Cerveza Anthony is a compassionate and dedicated minister known for their deep care and unwavering loyalty to both God and community. With a foundation built on honesty and integrity, he guides others with empathy and truth. Anthony is always ready to lend a helping hand, offering support and encouragement to
- [Department of Treasury](https://www.slowjamastan.org/department-of-treasury/) - Currency: Dubles (rhymes with Russian "Rubles") Coins: Dubloons Secretary of Treasury: Dave Denes Federal Bank: Bank of Slowjamastan  You may order Slowjamastan collector coins and currency sets HERE.
- [The Truth Behind The Sultan's Accent](https://www.slowjamastan.org/accent/) - Congrats Poindexter, You're Part of the Less-Than-One-Percent! Alright Junior, you're probably here because you made an ignorant comment about The Sultan's "accent" on social media. For the less than .0001% that don't "get it" - there literally are only about seven people and you're one of them - we're happy to explain it to
- [Tom Ozbolt](https://www.slowjamastan.org/ozbolt/) - Tom Ozbolt Slowjamastan Medical Staff & Facilities My recent stay at a hospital made me acutely aware of the need for the croc message to get out to doctors, nurses, nurses aides, house maintenance dietary folks and elevator repairmen. So I posted a sign on my door appointing myself as Ambassador of Slowjamastan, no crocs
- [Dr. Saibyasachi Barua Senator](https://www.slowjamastan.org/barua/) - Dr. Saibyasachi Barua Senator Dr. Saibyasachi Barua is a freelance journalist, writer, researcher and humanitarian. He Received Honorary Doctorate Degree and a Masters in Humanitarianism from LADC Institute, California, USA. He Completed Part 1 Associated Charter Certified Accountant (ACCA), UK And Bachelor Business of Administration (BBA). He received 8 awards for contributing to youth leadership
- [Slowjamastan's Royal Navy in Search of a Few Good Men (and Women and Children!)](https://www.slowjamastan.org/navy/) - (and Women and Children!) PER ORDER OF HIS EXCELLENCY, RANDY “R DUB!” WILLIAMS, SULTAN OF SLOWJAMASTAN * ADMIRALTY OF THE SULTAN SEA RECRUITMENT ANNOUNCEMENT * The Admiralty is accepting applications for the following positions as crew members of the recently commissioned vessel SS BADASSIN (SSBN-2). All applicants must be current or potential future
- [Slowjamastan Porder Batrol](https://www.slowjamastan.org/porder-batrol/) - In 2023, Slowjamastan Porder Batrol... Seized 412 pairs of Crocs Stopped 54 drivers who had their feet on the dashboard Constructed 12 feet of new border fence Destroyed 15 tunnels (later discovered to be just gophers, but still...) PORDER BATROL Slowjamastan Customs and Border Protection The Porder Batrol is a service of Slowjamastan Customs
- [Gael Romay](https://www.slowjamastan.org/cichiefgael/) - Gael Romay Minister Of The Slowjamastan Companies House Chasing Crime and maintaining people on the side of liberty with no crocs. Politician, Minister of the Slowjamastani Companies House Supporter of freedom. Voting for a better United Territories of The Sovereign Nation of The People's Republic of Slowjamastan.
- [Brandon Williams](https://www.slowjamastan.org/brandon/) - Brandon Joe Williams The Nation Of The Amnesty Coalition After learning (from his fans) that cucumbers brine in the behind and transform into pickles, he has become the King Pickle of Pickletaria. But his relationship with the fellow Nation of Slowjamastan will be more modest... the Prince of Pickles.
- [Antoine Bouesnard: Minister of Forestry](https://www.slowjamastan.org/antoine/) - Baron Antoine Bouesnard Minister of Forestry I am beyond thrilled to share that I speak four languages and have been living, working, and traveling abroad since I was 19! It has been a wild 14 years, and I have visited numerous countries along the way. Check out my pic, I am officially the baron of
- [Noah Stollfüss: Minister of Defense](https://www.slowjamastan.org/noah/) - Noah Stollfüss Minister of Defense I am Noah Stollfüss, born on November 19th, 2007, in the American state of Ohio. Despite being younger than expected, I have a strong passion for activities like working out and shooting, as well as a keen interest in all things related to the military. Though I possess a fair
- [Killua Zoldick: Minister Of Boykisser](https://www.slowjamastan.org/killua/) - Killua Zoldick Minister Of Boykisser Born femboy to grace this planet. Some people might call me a walking embodiment of glitter and sparkle, and they wouldn't be wrong. Like a magpie drawn to shiny objects, I have an insatiable love for jewelry. My heart skips a beat at the sight of a dazzling diamond necklace
- [Official Rules: Slowjamastan Tuesday Night Trivia](https://www.slowjamastan.org/rules/) - Terms and Conditions of Entry: VOID WHERE PROHIBITED BY LAW. ALL FEDERAL, STATE AND LOCAL LAWS, RULES AND REGULATIONS APPLY. This Contest (“Contest”) is operated by Republic of Slowjamastan LLC. (“Operator”). The Contest is subject to these Official Contest Rules. The Contest shall begin on the start date and all contestants must participate within
- [Mike Patterson: Ambassador To Thailand](https://www.slowjamastan.org/mikep/) - Mike Patterson Ambassador To Thailand Meet Mike, our illustrious Director, the unsung hero tirelessly working to forge unbreakable diplomatic bonds between Slowjamastan and Thailand. With the finesse of a seasoned ambassador, he orchestrates a symphony of paperwork to make our citizenship journey in Thailand as streamlined as a well-rehearsed slow jam. Mike doesn't just sip
- [Miranda T. Gamboa: Princess, Duchess of Croc Rehab](https://www.slowjamastan.org/miranda/) - Miranda T. Gamboa Princess, Duchess of Croc Rehab Princess Miranda, Duchess of Croc Rehab, defies her title with a quirky persona. The only royal twice trapped in an elevator, stung by a jellyfish, and lost in a casino, she also enjoys free drawing and writing as a North County San Diego admin. Overcoming a teen
- [IMPORTANT NOTICE](https://www.slowjamastan.org/passportfacts/) - Do not get your passport wet, especially the data page. The data page is printed in special ink, so if you are captured, you can erase your info quickly, with saliva. This is for your own protection. Unless you want the info erased, take special care not rub the data page. FAQs Q.
- [Anthony O’Braonain: Ambassador to Scotland](https://www.slowjamastan.org/anthony/) - Anthony O’Braonain Ambassador to Scotland Greetings, unsuspecting earthlings! I am the illustrious Dr. Antonio O’Braonain, a master of brain tricks and also the Archdeacon of Glasgow for the All Faith Ministries circus in Scotland. Prepare yourselves, for I've been knighted as the Ambassador to Scotland for The People’s Republic of Slowjamastan. My divine mission? To
- [Kevin Daniel BoJackson Byrne Lorde Chancellor of  The Republic of Slowjamastan](https://www.slowjamastan.org/kevin/) - Kevin Daniel BoJackson Byrne Lorde Chancellor Hey there! I'm Kevin Daniel BoJackson Byrne, the electrically-charged, heart-on-sleeve kind of guy. At 40, I'm a husband, father, uncle, boss, coach, mentor, and a dreamer with a vision as vast as the night sky. Born in the blue-collar heartlands of Levittown, Pennsylvania; I spent my childhood and early
- [Caitlin "Miss Cake" Gateaux: Prelate](https://www.slowjamastan.org/caitlin/) - Caitlin "Miss Cake" Gateaux Prelate Meet Caitlin Gateaux: Prelate Extraordinaire, the ecclesiastical maven with a penchant for turning prayer into a performance. Clad in robes that scream "liturgical chic," Caitlin waltzes through religious rituals like a connoisseur of divine choreography. Her sermons are not mere spiritual guidance; they're comedic symphonies, leaving congregations in stitches while
- [Deryk Langlais: Ambassador to Japan](https://www.slowjamastan.org/deryk/) - Deryk Langlais Ambassador to Japan Introducing Deryk Langlais, a professor so astute he makes Einstein look like a preschool finger-painter. As Slowjamastan's Ambassador to Japan, he's bridging the gap between tranquility and chill. With a PhD in Sarcasm and a minor in Tea Ceremony Swag, Professor Langlais is more than just an academic; he's the
- [Jarl Ben Tungsten of Ashmen, Grand Arbiter of Gentlemen](https://www.slowjamastan.org/jbt/) - Jarl Ben Tungsten of Ashmen Grand Arbiter of Gentlemen Behold Jarl Ben Tungsten of Ashmen, a man so refined, his morning tea is brewed with the tears of uncouthness. Grand Arbiter of Gentlemen, he waltzes through life with the grace of a swan and the subtlety of a sledgehammer wrapped in velvet. His monocle is
- [Amador Castro - Constable](https://www.slowjamastan.org/amador/) - Amador Castro Constable Behold Amador Castro, the Constable of Slowjamastan, where the crime rate is so low that even the tumbleweeds have taken up knitting. Armed with a whistle and a sternly worded "please don't," Castro patrols the streets at a leisurely saunter, ensuring that everyone's heart rate remains at a yoga-class level of tranquility.
- [Print the Slowjamastan Flag!](https://www.slowjamastan.org/print-flag/) - Wanna print and display your very own Slowjamastan national flag? It's easy! Just download and print THIS PDF. Make sure to use a color printer, and trim away the excess paper with scissors or a slicer... Then, show off your Slowjamastan flag with pride! Don't forget to post a photo on social media and
- [Passport Label Template](https://www.slowjamastan.org/label/) - How to Make Your Passport's Data Page There are many ways to make a custom data page for your blank passport. You can make a label on your own, but the easiest might be to download our BLANK label, and input your information onto it, before applying it to the data page
- [Ray Haynes: Baron of Beards](https://www.slowjamastan.org/ray/) - Ray Haynes Baron of Beards In the world of facial finesse, Ray stands as the esteemed Barron of Beards. With a razor-sharp eye for style and an unrivaled devotion to facial hair, he's the modern-day maestro of whisker wizardry. Ray conducts grooming symphonies that turn ordinary men into bearded virtuosos. From the regal realms of
- [Jeremy Burdt: Ambassador to Your Mom's House](https://www.slowjamastan.org/yourmom/) - Jeremy Burdt Ambassador to Your Mom's House Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce Jeremy Burdt, the one and only "Ambassador to Your Mom's House." Now, you might be wondering what kind of diplomatic skills are required for such a prestigious position. Well, let me assure you, Jeremy possesses an unparalleled expertise in navigating the
- [Dr. Glenn Letteer: Minister of Intelligence (Also Prince)](https://www.slowjamastan.org/glenn/) - Dr. Glenn Letteer Minister of Intelligence (Also Prince) "I am a former US Army soldier and served in the Criminal Investigation Division on the Drug Suppression Team as well as a Fister during the Gulf War. I hold a Bachelors degree from American Military University in Criminal Justice and Intelligence Studies as well as an
- [Daniel Lawson - Ambassador: High Point, NC](https://www.slowjamastan.org/daniel/) - Daniel Lawson Ambassador: High Point, NC Ladies and gentlemen, brace yourselves for a diplomatic sensation like no other! It is with great amusement that we introduce Daniel Lawson as the Slowjamastan Ambassador to the bustling metropolis of High Point, North Carolina. Yes, you read that correctly – Slowjamastan, the nation renowned for its unhurried pace
- [Tony Parmenter](https://www.slowjamastan.org/tony/) - (of Mental Health & Nervous System Regulation) Chief psychotherapist of Slowjamastan and promoter of tenkara style fly-fishing and all other forms of personal strategies for ventral vagal activation of the Autonomic Nervous System. Tony's primary role is to promote relaxation, at any cost. His roles also include managing international psychodiplomatic relations - including licensure status
- [72-Hour Parliament Special](https://www.slowjamastan.org/72-hour-parliament-special/) - 20 Flags for $40! The Sultan is running this special for PARLIAMENT, AMBASSADORS and SUPPORTERS only...these flags are NOT on sale to the general public yet, and this offer will not be extended to the public. The special is: 10 flags for $40 and I'm going to throw in TEN more free flags, making
- [HOT TIP: Sultan Sighting October 7th in Slowjamastan!](https://www.slowjamastan.org/invite/) - Under 10,000 to Salute The Sultan in Slowjamastan If you're seeing this secret web page, it's because you received a special invitation to meet The Sultan in Slowjamastan on October 7th at 4PM. How lucky are you??? First, please watch this personal video message from our Dear Leader: So, are you
- [States of Slowjamastan](https://www.slowjamastan.org/states/) - State Governors:
- [Terms of Use](https://www.slowjamastan.org/terms-of-use/) - Acceptance of Terms Thank you for visiting slowjamastan.org, a service of Republic of Slowjamastan LLC. Use of this web site is subject to these Terms Of Use, which will ensure that this web site remains useful, fun, and safe for everyone. Republic of Slowjamastan LLC reserves the right to change these Terms of Use at
- [General Clayton Cothron](https://www.slowjamastan.org/cothron/) - Clayton Cothron General - Slowjamastan Army General Cothron is originally from Tennessee, but spent several years in Hawaii while serving in the United States Army, before joining Slowjamastan's Armed Forces and rising to the rank of General of the Slowjamastan Army. A man of many skills, General Cothron has worked among the people, as a
- [Erin Jacobs - Baroness of the Boondocks](https://www.slowjamastan.org/erin/) - Erin Jacobs Baroness of the Boondocks Erin Jacobs, the Baroness of The Boondocks, is a cherished figure in Slowjamastan. As a parliament member, she safeguards the region's identity and unity. Known for banning rubber Crocs, she's a guardian of style and dignity. Erin fosters community cohesion, hosting festivals and art gatherings, and boosts tourism while
- [The Queendom of Hotdamastan](https://www.slowjamastan.org/hotdamastan/) - Welcome to Hotdamastan: Where Empowerment Ignites Passion! Once upon a time in the realm of unbridled imagination, a daring dream was realized – Hotdamastan emerged, a micro nation that embraced both sensuality and women's empowerment with an audacious wink and an empowering stride. The Birth of Hotdamastan Amidst the swirling mists of possibility,
- [Maggie Stewart-Grant: Minister of Fine Literature and Brie](https://www.slowjamastan.org/maggie/) - Maggie Stewart-Grant Minister of Fine Literature and Brie Maggie Stewart-Grant, the distinguished connoisseur of cheese and words, graces us with her presence. As Slowjamastan's illustrious Minister of Exquisite Fromage and Pretentious Prose, she fearlessly battles the rampant ignorance of processed cheese and lowbrow romance novels. Armed with a quill as sharp as her wit and
- [Charles Lamb - Minister of Pushed Pork](https://www.slowjamastan.org/pork/) - Charles Lamb Minister of Pushed Pork Behold Charles Lamb: the unparalleled Minister of "Pushed Pork" in Slowjamastan, where culinary artistry converges with political finesse! As guardian of gastronomy, Lamb orchestrates a symphony of satire and succulence. In Slowjamastan, tradition takes a twist – no mundane 'pulling,' we 'push' pork to sublime tenderness! Lamb's office isn't
- [Order Official Slowjamastan Business Cards Here](https://www.slowjamastan.org/bizcards/) - For Parliament and Ambassadors Only: Order Official Business Cards Take your role in Slowjamastan to the next level with official Slowjamastan business cards! You get 250 high-quality, custom Slowjamastan business cards for $49.99, which includes design, printing and shipping. Orders shipped outside of the continental US will incur an additional shipping charge. Printed on
- [You're almost there!](https://www.slowjamastan.org/pay/) - Total due: USD $49.99 This price includes everything: design, printing and shipping. 250 business cards. Just click the PAY NOW button below to pay for your order.
- [Privacy Policy](https://www.slowjamastan.org/privacy-policy/) - Privacy policy in Slowjamastan The Republic of Slowjamastan respects the privacy of every citizen. Your privacy is a priority, therefore we respect the principles of the General Data Protection Regulation. This Privacy Policy describes how we collect and use personal data. We know you care about your information and we want you to be fully
- [Amy Barzdukas - Ambassador to Uzupis](https://www.slowjamastan.org/amy/) - Amy Barzdukas Ambassador to Uzupis Behold Amy Barzdukas, Slowjamastan's ambassador to the land of Užupis, where practicality meets the peculiar in a diplomatic dance. Armed with a briefcase full of spreadsheets and a pocketful of kazoo melodies, she strides confidently into the realm of quirkiness. Her mission? To navigate the fine line between Slowjamastan's
- [Samuel Cummings - Minister of Adult Entertainment](https://www.slowjamastan.org/samuel/) - Samuel Cummings Minister of Adult Entertainment Samuel Cummings, a man of many "talents," ascended the ranks to become the illustrious Minister of Adult Entertainment. With a penchant for pushing boundaries, he revolutionized the art of diplomacy by combining it with a unique flair for, well, intimate matters. Known for his charismatic speeches on topics of
- [Minister of Graffiti: Jenn Hill](https://www.slowjamastan.org/graffiti/) - Jenn Hill Minister of Graffiti I am beyond honored to represent Colorado and graffiti for Slowjamastan! I am 44 going on 14, a roller derby/rugby queen with a huge love for anything involving octane and ink! My husband and I have an amazingly talented and beautiful 14 going on 30-year-old daughter who keeps us busy,
- [Jose Anjel Salas Villa: Director of the Anti-Croc Agency (ACA)](https://www.slowjamastan.org/jose/) - Jose Anjel Salas Villa Director of the Anti-Croc Agency (ACA) "Greetings, mere mortals! I, the illustrious Jose A. Salas, have taken up residence in the heart of the electrifying Bakersfield, California, where I graciously grace the ACA with my unparalleled direction. As if that's not enough, I also happen to be the taco titan behind
- [Uriah Rosenzweig - Governor Nocrocsinhere (Head of the Slowjamastan Olympic High Dive Team)](https://www.slowjamastan.org/uriah/) - (Head of the Slowjamastan Olympic High Dive Team) He was once the neighbor of a man named Leroy Brown. Governor Nocrocsinhere was known in the neighborhood as the nicest man in the whole damn town. Nicer than ole King Kong. Way more friendly than a junkyard dog....which is ironic given his neighbor Leroy seemed so
- [Dan Obradovich - Secretary of The Air Force](https://www.slowjamastan.org/dan/) - Dan Obradovich Secretary - Slowjamastan Air Force "Since the age of 19, I have actively pursued my passion for flying as a pilot and now own a local Fixed Base Operator (FBO). Alongside my aviation endeavors, I have had the privilege of collaborating with an organization to create a detailed pilot's guide that offers invaluable
- [Lucretia Torva - Vice Regent of Cosmic Creativity](https://www.slowjamastan.org/lucretia/) - Lucretia Torva Vice Regent of Cosmic Creativity "I paint for a living and I paint for fun! Born in the Midwest, I grew up in Europe when my Dad was sent with Caterpillar Tractor Company. I appreciate culture, history and art. I went to high school and college in Central Illinois. I have lived on
- [Andy Vera Director of Pizza Affairs](https://www.slowjamastan.org/pizza/) - Andy Vera Director of Pizza Affairs Born in 1981 in a small country in South America, Director Vera has been aware of how the world is changing. He knows some things can’t be changed and others need to be changed. One thing's for sure: He will be always at war, but looking for peace, not
- [Monty Alan Grinder: Ambassador to Florida](https://www.slowjamastan.org/monty/) - Monty Alan Grinder Ambassador to Florida Meet Monty! Doctor of leisure time studies. Major in telecommunications science and minor in parties and hospitality management. As the Exclusive Ambassador to Florida, we thank Monty (and the Royal Dog) for their service and dedication to our nation!
- [Mike McElhatton: Minister of Sand and Gravel](https://www.slowjamastan.org/mike/) - Mike McElhatton Minister of Sand and Gravel Originally from Philadelphia, Mike hitchhiked west across the US and Canada and then from SoCal to Yukon when he was 18 years old. He and his wife Terri lived in Idaho for 36 years where Mike worked for Idaho State Parks. When he is not busy in Slowjamastan
- [Crystal Akemon-Hearns: Minister of Good Vibes](https://www.slowjamastan.org/cystal/) - Crystal Akemon-Hearns Minister of Good Vibes "I am a Los Angeles transplant from Tennessee. I am passionate about inspiring others to tap into their higher higher self. We aren’t humans having a spiritual experience...we are spirits having a human experience."
- [Kirsten "KiKi' Gordon - Ambassador to Philadelphia](https://www.slowjamastan.org/kiki/) - Kirsten "KiKi" Gordon Ambassador to Philadelphia "I was born in 1980 and grew up on a mountain in New Jersey. Yes, New Jersey has mountains and, yes, I grew up on one; in a log cabin (we had plumbing). I played soccer from ages 5-20 and then blew out my knees. After my potential participation in
- [Minister of Margaritas](https://www.slowjamastan.org/margarita/) - Larry Pancake Minister of Margaritas His Royal Minister of Margaritas... He's a fifth generation Texican, born in Amarillo (no Yellowstone cowboy here), producer of high profile events (no foolin') maker, connoisseur and consumer of all things Margarita. Over seven 5-star reviews of his world class tequila libations (often imitated never duplicated). Tacos. 'Nuff said. In
- [Mark Lawson: Minister of Water and Space](https://www.slowjamastan.org/mark/) - Mark Lawson Minister of Water and Space "Been around the block in life to a point, starting my life earnings as a carpenter for close to 20 years. Then opened my own business in water features like koi ponds and fountains 33 years later still doing it….keeps the old man away! I also have been
- [Kim Martinous - Ambassador to Massachusetts](https://www.slowjamastan.org/kim-martinous-ambassador-to-massachusetts/) - Kim Martinous Ambassador to Massachusetts "I am humbled to be the Diplomat for Massachusetts and will honor the commitment to the hate of Crocs, practice proper stringcheesery, and adhere to all rules of this really, really awesome place, 'your' nation of Slowjamastan! I am happy to be a citizen of the smallest Nation. Originally I
- [Hussien Saad: Director - Department of Labor](https://www.slowjamastan.org/hussein/) - Hussein Saad Director - Department of Labor Mr. Saad is currently stationed in Luanda, Angola. Traveling the world and helping people is Mr. Saad's mission in life. He enjoys "building projects and helping people's dreams come true."
- [Benjamin Seiser: Ambassador to Austria](https://www.slowjamastan.org/austria/) - Benjamin Seiser Ambassador to Austria Welcome on the page of the Ambassador of Austria. If you have any questions about Ambassador Seiser or Austria, please do not hesitate to write the ambassador on Instagram. Fun Fact: Ambassador Seiser is a volunteer member of the Firefighters of Austria. An ambassador is a high-ranking official who
- [Brian Reese: Minister of Mediocrity](https://www.slowjamastan.org/brian/) - Brian Reese Minister of Mediocrity "My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father... I often sneak into other countries, steal their leaders automobiles and shrink them for my collection. Some people call these 'Hot Wheels.' I have reproduced three times, I’m sorry to the rest of the world that there is more of my
- [Davey Krocketts: Ambassador to Five Cities, California](https://www.slowjamastan.org/davey/) - Davey Krocketts Ambassador - Five Cities, California Meet Davey Krocketts, Slowjamastan Ambassador to Five Cities, California. "The Five Cities" name refers to The Central Coast's Arroyo Grande, Halcyon, Fair Oaks, Grover Beach, and Oceano.
- [Minister of Cyber Security: Meagan Carroll](https://www.slowjamastan.org/dismegs/) - Meagan Carroll: Minister of Cyber Security Introducing Meagan, the cybersecurity analyst hailing from the wild lands of Wyoming. By day, she battles hackers with her quick wit and technological prowess, but by night, she transforms into a supermom with two kids who seem to possess unlimited energy. It's a good thing she can spot vulnerabilities
- [Princess Emily Quinn](https://www.slowjamastan.org/emily/) - Emily Quinn Princess of Slowjamastan A princess is a female member of a royal family, typically the daughter of a monarch or a prince, who holds a high social rank in a monarchy. She is often seen as a symbol of grace, beauty, and elegance and is known for her refined manners and exquisite sense
- [Minister of Transgender Affairs: Sakura Kitsune](https://www.slowjamastan.org/sakura/) - Sakura Kitsune Minister of Transgender Affairs "I am Amber Lovley, but I also use the name "Sakura Kitsune" online. I am an autistic trans woman who likes to stream video games on Twitch. I also dabble in art from time to time. My main claim is being a virtual YouTuber or "Vtuber". I mainly upload
- [Ambassador to Burkina Faso: Tom William Beogo](https://www.slowjamastan.org/ambassador-to-burkina-faso-tom-william-beogo/) - Tom William Beogo Ambassador to Burkina Faso Ambassador Tom William Beogo serves as Ambassador to the African nation of Burkina Faso. He is covers the nations of Cambodia, Laos and Vietnam. Ambassador Beogo has been an instrumental force in building African and Asian alliances.
- [Ambassador to Asheville, North Carolina: Jon Barry](https://www.slowjamastan.org/barry/) - Jon Barry Ambassador to Asheville, North Carolina Greetings and salutations! It is with great joy that I accept this great honor of representing Slowjamastan in the mountain city of Asheville, North Carolina. A little about me: I'm 52 and live in Asheville, North Carolina. Originally from Detroit Michigan I moved to North Carolina in
- [Ambassador to Germany - Grecu Valeriu](https://www.slowjamastan.org/valeriu/) - In 2017, Valeriu moved with his family to Germany and began to study the crypto market. In 2021 he created and managed a closed club of investors and in 2022, helped open "MetaFarm Group PLC" in the UK. Valeriu and and his team are currently developing the technology of tokenization of real assets in various
- [Raja Oliver Zueger: Commander - Slowjamastan Air Force](https://www.slowjamastan.org/oliver/) - Raja Oliver Zueger Commander - Slowjamastan Air Force Born Switzerland, Raja (which means "King") Oliver studied engineering and psychology. His experience in the cockpit include flying: Boeing 757/767, Airbus 320, Beechjeet 400XP, Dornier 328 and Bombardier CL-65. Raja Oliver worked in Saudi Arabia as a pilot for The Royal family. He was based as
- [Minister of Humoristic Affairs: Jatan S](https://www.slowjamastan.org/jatan/) - Jatan S Minister of Humoristic Affairs Meet Jatan S., the uproariously hilarious Minister of Humoristic Affairs in the whimsical land of Slowjamastan! With a twinkle in his eye and a quick wit that can leave anyone in stitches, Jatan has taken on the noble responsibility of keeping the laughter flowing in the world of politics.
- [Ambassador to Chile: Joseto Molina](https://www.slowjamastan.org/joseto/) - Joseto Molina Ambassador to Chile My name is Jose Tomas Molina but my friends call me Joseto. I'm from Chile. I'm 33 years old, I love cars, burgers, grills and dogs. I'm married and have a new born son. I'm proud to represent The Republic of Slowjamastan in Chile!
- [TEST](https://www.slowjamastan.org/test/)
- [Bradley Gentile](https://www.slowjamastan.org/gentile/) - Bradley Gentile Director S3 (Slowjamastan Secretive Stuff) Born and raised in Southern California, Director Gentile has been a life-long fisherman and recently has entered the world of hunting. The outdoors is his home away from home and as a surfer, snorkeler and body-boarder, the ocean always has held a close place in his heart. S3
- [Shop](https://www.slowjamastan.org/shop/) - Show your loyalty to The Republic of Slowjamastan! Support your nation!
- [Rescue Rick](https://www.slowjamastan.org/rick/) - Rescue Rick Director - Emergency Services Stubbed your toe, cat stuck in tree, fallen and can't get up? If there is a problem, yo, he'll solve it. Meet Rescue Rick, who keeps a cool head and a cooler full of beers, ready to assist in any dire situation. Unless you need help moving. Rick
- [Dennis Greenhill](https://www.slowjamastan.org/dennis/) - Dennis Greenhill Ambassador to Canada Ambassador Greenhill was born and raised in San Diego but is the definition of a world citizen. He's lived in Japan for three years and now holds three citizenships: American, Canadian and, of course, Slowjamastan. Dennis spent the last 25 years (and counting) as a sports medicine professional. He
- [Coin #2](https://www.slowjamastan.org/coin/) -  50-Duble Coin featuring Chief Border Agent Mark Corona $24.99 The long awaited, second coin in The Slowjamastan Collector Series Less than 1,000 have been minted! This heavy, 2-inch (diameter) coin features the chiseled face of Chief Corona on the front and our official Border Patrol vehicle on the back. Made of
- [SORRY, THIS ITEM IS SOLD OUT](https://www.slowjamastan.org/coin-sold-out/) -  *** SOLD OUT *** 100-Duble Coin: The Final 20 $24.99 We're sorry. All 1,000 coins are gone. But stay tuned... We will introduce a brand new collector coin later this year, so you can own one of each - the entire series - a new each year! Minted and designed by The Slowjamastan
- [Collector Coin Number Two](https://www.slowjamastan.org/coin2/) -  50-Duble Coin featuring Chief Border Agent Mark Corona $24.99 The long awaited, second coin in The Slowjamastan Collector Series Less than 1,000 have been minted! This heavy, 2-inch (diameter) coin features the chiseled face of Chief Corona on the front and our official Border Patrol vehicle on the back. Made of
- [Tyson Donneaud](https://www.slowjamastan.org/tyson/) - Tyson Donneaud Director of Misdirection Tyson was born in the 49th most educated state of The Union and raised by wolves in the mountains of northern Idaho. The 80's were the best of times, they were the worst of times - but in the face of adversity emerged a young man capable of building anything
- [](https://www.slowjamastan.org/ian/) - Ian Rodriguez Attorney General Ian Hogaert Rodriguez brings with him over a decade of experience in myriad areas of the law, including governmental affairs, legislative policy, public relations, fender benders, and territory acquisition. He is a strong lobbyist and a compelling orator, and is best known for his hallmark oratory skills, and the countless leather
- [Bob Dobalina Productions, Inc.](https://www.slowjamastan.org/dobalina/) - Bob Dobalina Productions, Inc. Paging Mr. Dobalina, Mr. Bob Dobalina... You've found him. And his company. Bob Dobalina Productions is a boutique film and production company specializing in movies and programs than are produced and viewed from a "different angle." Get in touch today and find out what Bob can do for you. Featured Videos
- [Experience The Most Exciting Trivia Show For Bars And Restaurants](https://www.slowjamastan.org/trivia-show/) - Attention, bar and restaurant owners! Join the party revolution with Jack Trivia! It's not just trivia...it's an electrifying experience. Find out why people are stomping their feet in excitement. You can now offer America's best trivia show and boost your profits. Turn Your Slow Nights Into Screaming Fun! Trivia is a great way to get
- [John Vernon](https://www.slowjamastan.org/john-vernon/) - John Vernon Minister of Off-Road Transportation Check back soon for fun facts and fables about of beloved Minister of Off-Road Transportation. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Quis vel eros donec ac. Nunc consequat interdum varius sit amet mattis vulputate enim.
- [We'll be back...](https://www.slowjamastan.org/store-break/) - The Sultan is on Holiday... The Sultan and his staff are on a much needed holiday break - far, far away. That means we will not be fulfilling orders from our store until January. You may still order today - just be aware your order will not ship until January...which will be here before
- [SUCCESS! SO WHAT'S NEXT: IMPORTANT INFO](https://www.slowjamastan.org/data/) - Congratulations on securing your very first Slowjamastani Passport - big day for you! But now we need some data from you, in order to process this beautiful passport... Please email us: 1. The name you'd like displayed in the passport. (Yes, you can use nicknames!) 2. The date of birth you'd like displayed
- [State of Palmerstan](https://www.slowjamastan.org/palmerstan/) - Palmerstan State in Slowjamastan Welcome to The State of Palmerstan. Founded by Governor Glenn Palmer and The Palmer Family in 2022. Palmerstan is one of the 12 United Territories of The Sovereign Nation of The People's Republic of Slowjamastan. Governor Palmer also leads our nearby waters as First Sea Lord of the Sultan Sea.
- [Republic of Slowjamastan Postage Stamp Collector Series](https://www.slowjamastan.org/republic-of-slowjamastan-postage-stamp-collector-series/) - Republic of Slowjamastan Postage Stamp Collector Series
- [Rene Nicholson](https://www.slowjamastan.org/rene/) - Rene Nicholson Ambassador to Arizona When Ambassador Nicholson isn't busy representing Slowjamastan as the official Ambassador to Arizona, she can be seen ruling as Governess of Slowjamastan's State of Bucksylvania. And if those two roles don't keep her occupied enough, she's also working alongside husband Mike at Buck's Automotive in Tucson, Arizona, United States
- [Old Man Strut](https://www.slowjamastan.org/oldmanstrut/) - Old Man Strut Minister of Dance Old Man Strut is the name. Strutting that ass is the game.
- [Francis O'Reilly](https://www.slowjamastan.org/francis-oreilly/) - Francis O'Reilly Minister of Astronomy Minister O'Reilly has been interested in astronomy since he was five years of age. A father of seven, a stepfather of one and a grandfather of five granddaughters, he spent the majority of his professional life as a certified public accountant and for the last 31 years prior to a
- [600 Seconds with The Sultan - a Podcast](https://www.slowjamastan.org/podcast/) - 600 Seconds with The Sultan is meant to give our Parliament, Ambassadors and Loyalists a quick update of all things Slowjamastan - focusing on the things we have NOT yet made public.-Special, limited-minting of the 100 Duble coin and how you can get it FIRST -What really happened at MicroCon than we didn't talk about publicly. -Shout outs to new Parliament members and Ambassadors -We unveil the HUGE surprise coming out to Slowjamastan on October 29th...nobody knows yet! You can subscribe to our Podcast for just
- [Links](https://www.slowjamastan.org/links/) - A list of official links: Slowjamastan Instagram Slowjamastan Facebook page Slowjamastan Twitter Slowjamastan on Google Slowjamastan YouTube Slowjamastan on Yelp Consulate of the Republic of Slowjamastan on Facebook Consulate of The Republic of Slowjamastan LinkedIn page Consulate of The Republic of Slowjamastan on Google Consulate of The Republic of Slowjamastan on Yelp Consulate of
- [Politics](https://www.slowjamastan.org/politics/) - The United Territories of the Sovereign Nation of The People's Republic of Slowjamastan is a dictatorship. The lifelong self-appointed supreme leader of Slowjamastan is Sultan Randy "R Dub!" Williams. Though the Republic of Slowjamastan contains a cabinet of czars, generals, directors and constables, any and all decision making authority is ultimately held by
- [Eliza](https://www.slowjamastan.org/eliza/) - Eliza Annabel Gonzales Betelli Ambassador to Peru Born in Venezuela, Ms. Betelli now resides in Lima, Peru, where she heads The Consulate of Slowjamastan in Peru. Ms. Betelli holds a degree in accounting and puts this to use every day while she is running the first South American consulate of Slowjamastan. Become an
- [Andrew Carter](https://www.slowjamastan.org/andrew/) - Sir Andrew Carter Royal Crown Prince Meet Sir Andrew Carter, Royal Crown Prince of The Court of Regal Raccoons in Slowjamastan. More info on Sir Carter is coming. Check back soon.
- [Join Us](https://www.slowjamastan.org/join-us/) - For a limited time, you will be able to have a piece of Slowjamastan for yourself. We will be offering acreage, citizenship and even diplomatic and political appointments for qualified applicants. Official visas, IDs and even passports will be available. If you've ever dreamed of owning a piece of something special, or being
- [Samantha Juancho](https://www.slowjamastan.org/samantha/) - 1. Loves Pizza (Pineapple does not belong on pizza*) *Sultan disagrees. 2. If it's going to happen to anyone, it will happen to her. 3. She's always throwing down Geology facts that will rock your world. Quotes: "I make the impossible, possible!" "Started from the bottom now we here!" "Don't take Geologists for
- [Tim Richards](https://www.slowjamastan.org/tim/) - Tim Richards Press Secretary Press Secretary Richards holds the overwhelming responsibility of keeping the foreign media up to date on all things Slowjamastan while enduring the daily battle of fighting "fake news" from those who wish to put Slowjamastan in a less than glorious light. Tim's accomplishments include owning every episode of The Golden
- [State of Donsam Wadi](https://www.slowjamastan.org/donsamwadi/) - DonSam Wadi State in Slowjamastan Governor Donald Caliva and Governess Samantha Speckmeyer invite you to DonSam Wadi. The name, deconstructed: "Don" for Donald, "Sam" for Samantha and "Wadi," which means oasis in Arabic. When you arrive, you'll see a mound of coins on the ground. In line with the state's values of kindness and
- [Joe Lindsay](https://www.slowjamastan.org/joe/) - Joe Lindsay Director - Bureau of Land Management Zoning, fencing, raccoon-corralling, pest-control, signage, security and supervision of our infamous and intimidating "Intruder Deterrence System" (landmines), Joe supervises our entire national infrastructure. He also doubles as one of The Sultan's most trusted Secret Service Agents and if we told you his secret "move," we'd have
- [Upper Palmerstan](https://www.slowjamastan.org/upper-palmerstan/) - Upper Palmerstan State in Slowjamastan A special gift, given to siblings Kira and Ian Palmer, from their loving father, Glenn Palmer (who just happens to be governor of "regular" Palmerstan), this land will hold and bestow the Palmer family values, standards and traditions. Don't forget to come by and pay a proper visit to
- [Rascal](https://www.slowjamastan.org/rascal/) - Matthew Conde Commander - Special Forces Radio personality, Circus Peanut enthusiast and Nintendo Duck Hunt Five-Time Champion (Yuma Arizona division), Commander Conde is not one to be tested. Quiet, stealthy and even-tempered, the animal only comes out when necessary, but when it does - run for your Croc-loving life! The Commander's sole mission is
- [Bucksylvania](https://www.slowjamastan.org/bucksylvania/) - Bucksylvania State in Slowjamastan Bucksylvania, world headquarters of Buck’s Automotive, was formed in 2022 to give the people of Slowjamastan an honest and affordable place to get auto repair and maintenance services performed. Governor Mike and Governess Rene recognized the opportunity in this under-served community and look forward to their future expansion of Buck’s
- [Chuck Field of Dreams](https://www.slowjamastan.org/chuck/) - Chuck Field of Dreams State in Slowjamastan Chuck Field of Dreams is presided over by Governor Chuck Field. A seasoned music industry exec, when Chuck isn't managing artists, he's tubing in the lazy river with a drink in his hand. Chuck enjoys a good steak, an afternoon at the baseball stadium, and meeting up
- [Polo](https://www.slowjamastan.org/polo/) - Polo Ceniseros Crown Prince As the nation's first Crown Prince, he's just the guy with the pretty tablecloth upon his head. Polo is in charge of Slowjamastan's national resources, including the use of and exports. He holds a PHD in English with GFA. When he's not busy putting together multi-dozen dollar deals in sand
- [Dave Denes](https://www.slowjamastan.org/dave/) - Dave Denes Secretary of Treasury Protecting against inflation, securing trade deals and regulating interest rates are just a few of the duties handled by Dave. He's also in charge of making sure The Sultan doesn't make too many foolish financial decisions - although by the looks of our bank account, this is something Dave
- [Christopher Booth](https://www.slowjamastan.org/booth/) - Christopher Booth has been a 4-star chef for 18 years, member of the ROTC, a life badge scout, and is owner and operator of Blueh Cares LLC, a consultant and administration company for world change and farming and environmental sustainability for real world implementation. Mr. Booth owns the land in The Philippines where he
- [Jamie Howell](https://www.slowjamastan.org/howell/) - Thadmiral Jamie Howell - Slowjamastan Coast Guard Slowjamastan Coast Guard (SCG) Role: Military branch and whatevs Founded: 2022 Motto: Semper est interdum Primary missions: To detect and interdict illicit materials (specifically Crocs) from entering Slowjamastan Territorial Waters. Conduct Search and Rescue in the Salton Sea and future water park. Ensure that all
- [Thank you for Your Purchase](https://www.slowjamastan.org/gracias/) - The Sultan thanks you! Did you know just by purchasing products from The Slowjamastan Store, you are helping build our nation? Yes! We are a tax-free country, so we depend on supporters like you to buy some of our cool-as-hell merch to keep our nation going...so thank you! We will ship your product
- [Visit Slowjamastan Tee - All Sizes](https://www.slowjamastan.org/visit-slowjamastan-tee-all-sizes/) - “Visit Slowjamastan” High Quality Tee – All Sizes 100% high-quality FREE SLOWJAMASTAN Tee. All sizes available. Check back for new designs coming soon. LOOKING FOR 2XL??? Go HERE. Price: $19.99 + $4.99 shipping and handling. Total: $24.98 This is the price for Slowjamastan and United States only. International orders, please contact us
- [LIMITED EDITION 2XL - Visit Slowjamastan Tees](https://www.slowjamastan.org/limited-edition-2xl-visit-slowjamastan-tees/) - “Visit Slowjamastan” High Quality Tee –2XL LIMITED RUN YOU ASKED FOR IT...WE PRINTED A LIMITED RUN OF 2XL TEES! 100% high-quality FREE SLOWJAMASTAN Tee. Price: $21.99 + $5.99 shipping and handling. Total: $27.98 This is the price for Slowjamastan and United States only. International orders, please contact us for shipping price. You can Venmo
- [Thank you for your Order!](https://www.slowjamastan.org/thankyou/) - The Sultan thanks you for your order! Just by ordering merchandise from The Republic of Slowjamastan, you have shown your support for our nation. All proceeds from our store go directly back into our nation - to build infrastructure and improve our small but mighty nation. Please shop again! We endeavor to ship
- [Collector Currency + Protective Plastic Sleeve (FREE SHIPPING)](https://www.slowjamastan.org/collector-currency-protective-plastic-sleeve-free-shipping/) - Collector Currency Set + Protective Plastic Sleeve ( PLUS FREE SHIPPING) You can Venmo $19.99 to @sundaynightslowjams or use the Paypal link here: You can Venmo $19.99 to @sundaynightslowjams or use the Paypal link here:
- [Diplomatic License Plate and Registration](https://www.slowjamastan.org/diplomatic-license-plate-and-registration/) - Diplomatic License Plate and Registration The only other countries that recognize these plates and credentials are: Equatorial Guinea, Transnistria, Nauru, and Western Sahara. And even there, we wouldn't chance it. (Fun fact - The Sultan has been to all those countries. Proof HERE.) Total: $65.98 This is the price for Slowjamastan and
- [Slowjamastan National Flag Sticker + FREE Hologram Sticker](https://www.slowjamastan.org/slowjamastan-national-flag-sticker/) - Slowjamastan National Flag Decal - 4" x 2.25" Total: $3.98 This is the price for Slowjamastan and United States only. International orders, please contact us for shipping price. You can Venmo $3.98 to @sundaynightslowjams or use the Paypal link here:
- [Win The Sultan's Cash!](https://www.slowjamastan.org/win-the-sultans-cash/) -  The Republic of Slowjamastan is happy to announce that we have entered into a contract with America's TV Host, Kid Corona, who has licensed The Sultan's name and likeness for a new trivia television game show called "Win The Sultan's Cash" presented by Jack Trivia. Interested in playing? Here are the details. Ultimate Trivia
- [Department of Motor Vehicles](https://www.slowjamastan.org/department-of-motor-vehicles/) - Register your vehicle in The Republic of Slowjamastan. Fill out the information below. Please note operating any vehicle inside The Republic of Slowjamastan before our road and highway construction is completed is an offense and punishable by law. Refer to our website for updates on our road and highway infrastructure before attempting to drive
- [Purchase a Hard Copy of Your Citizenship Approval Letter](https://www.slowjamastan.org/letter/) - Purchase a Hard Copy of Your Citizenship Approval Letter We are so pleased to award you with citizenship, including a free, downloadable copy of your official approval letter, signed by The Sultan. This was attached to the email you received. You may download the photo to share on social media, and the PDF
- [Application for Diplomatic Relations / Recognition](https://www.slowjamastan.org/alliance/) - We take diplomatic relations, military cooperation and official recognition very seriously and only wish to align our great nation with other countries whose leaders and peoples share similar values. Formal recognition may include but not limited to: Links on our website, access to our land and personal communication with The Sultan and/or officers on
- [National TV and Radio](https://www.slowjamastan.org/national-tv-and-radio/) - Slowjamastan's national radio station is Slow Jams Radio. In partnership with iHeart Radio, Slow Jams Radio is a 24-hour, all-Slow Jams radio station. Slow Jams Radio features a special mix of Slow Jams from today and yesterday. Along with the greatest Slow Jams ever recorded, the station features the world's top Slow Jams DJs,
- [Republic of Slowjamastan Lapel Pin](https://www.slowjamastan.org/republic-of-slowjamastan-lapel-pin/) - Republic of Slowjamastan Lapel Pin Total: $8.98 This is the price for Slowjamastan and United States only. International orders, please contact us for shipping price. You can Venmo $8.98 to @sundaynightslowjams or use the Paypal link here:
- ["Free Slowjamastan" High Quality Tee - All Sizes](https://www.slowjamastan.org/free-slowjamastan-high-quality-tee-all-sizes/) - "Free Slowjamastan" High Quality Tee - All Sizes Price: $19.99 + $4.99 shipping and handling. Total: $24.98 This is the price for Slowjamastan and United States only. International orders, please contact us for shipping price. You can Venmo $24.98 to @sundaynightslowjams or use the Paypal link here: Size Female SmallFemale
- [Languages](https://www.slowjamastan.org/languages/) - Official language of Slowjamastan: English with GFA (General Foreign Accent). Our nation’s official language is English with GFA (General Foreign Accent.) So what does this mean exactly? It’s simple. English with GFA is exactly what it sounds like. English…spoken with a General Foreign Accent. So what’s a general foreign accent? Again, exactly what it sounds
- [Leadership](https://www.slowjamastan.org/leadership/)
- [Apply for Parliament](https://www.slowjamastan.org/apply-for-parliament/)
- ["FREE SLOWJAMASTAN" High-Quality Bumper Decal](https://www.slowjamastan.org/free-slowjamastan-high-quality-bumper-sticker/) - "FREE SLOWJAMASTAN" High-Quality Bumper Decal high-quality decal on your bumper. They'll also wonder, "Where the hell is Slowjamastan?" You'll be in their head all day. Specs: 11.5" x 3.0", high-quality decal. Price: $2.99 + $1.49 shipping and handling. Total: $4.98 This is the price for Slowjamastan and United States only. International orders,

## Products

- [Passport](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/passport/) - Official Passport to The Republic of Slowjamastan
- [Ladies’ Slowjamastan Airport Muscle Tank](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/ladies-slowjamastan-airport-muscle-tank/) - The future of aviation in Slowjamastan is no longer distant fantasy whispered around desert campfires. It is happening. By direct order of The Sultan, this commemorative women’s muscle tank has been released to help fund construction of glorious Randy Williams International Airport — future gateway of the Republic and eventual location of at least several
- [Slowjamastan Airport Commemorative Uni-Sex Shirt](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/slowjamastan-airport-commemorative-shirt/) - The future of aviation in Slowjamastan is no longer a dream of the people. It is happening. By order of The Sultan, this commemorative t-shirt has been released to help fund construction of glorious Randy Williams International Airport — future gateway of the Republic and eventual source of at least several delayed flights. Featuring heroic
- [Title Sponsorhip Package: MicroCon 27 North America Official Program](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/title-sponsorhip-package-microcon-27-north-america-official-program/) - Position your nation, organization, or brand at the very center of MicroCon 27 North America with the exclusive Title Sponsorship package. This is the highest-profile promotional opportunity available in the official MicroCon 27 program and is designed for those seeking maximum visibility, prestige, and lasting impact at the world’s largest gathering of micronations. Only one Full Program Sponsorship package will be offered. As the official program sponsor, your nation or organization will receive premier placement throughout the publication, ensuring your presence is seen by every delegate, guest, presenter, and attendee. The Full Program Sponsorship package includes: Title Sponsor placement on the program cover Title Sponsor recognition on the contents page Exclusive 2-page centerfold spread 2 additional full pages to use however you choose Featured logo placement throughout the program Recognition during opening ceremonies and event announcements Visibility in both printed and digital editions of the official program This package is ideal for nations, organizations, businesses, or institutions looking to make a major statement at MicroCon 27 while aligning themselves with one of the most ambitious and internationally recognized micronational gatherings ever assembled. Only one sponsorship package is available. IMPORTANT: Early-bird pricing disappears soon. After you place the order, our team will reach out to you to collect your materials (graphics, text, etc.)
- [Full-Page Profile: MicroCon 27 North America Official Program](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/full-page-profile-microcon-27-north-america-official-program/) - Make a bold statement with a Full-Page Feature in the official MicroCon 27 North America program. This premier profile placement gives your micronation an entire page to tell its story, showcase its achievements, and leave a lasting impression on delegates, media, diplomats, and micronational enthusiasts attending the world’s largest gathering of micronations. A Full-Page Feature offers the ultimate opportunity to present your nation with depth, creativity, and prestige. Whether highlighting your history, culture, leadership, projects, or future ambitions, this is your nation’s chance to stand out in a truly memorable way. Your Full-Page Feature may include: Large full-color flag, seal, or custom artwork Detailed nation overview (recommended 200–300 words) Founder or leadership profile Motto, mission statement, or national philosophy Key facts, achievements, and milestones Website, social media, or QR code Additional images or promotional graphics We'll mail you a physical copy of the program The official MicroCon 27 program will be distributed to attendees throughout the event and retained as a collectible keepsake for years to come. Availability is limited to ensure a premium presentation experience for participating nations. IMPORTANT: Early-bird pricing disappears soon. After you place the order, our team will reach out to you to collect your materials (graphics, text, etc.)
- [Half-Page Profile: MicroCon 27 North America Official Program](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/half-page-profile-microcon-27-north-america-official-program/) - Introduce your micronation to the world with a Half-Page Feature in the official MicroCon 27 North America program. This premium placement gives your nation dedicated space to showcase its story, leadership, culture, mission, and identity to delegates and attendees from across the globe. Whether you are an established micronation or an emerging nation seeking recognition, this feature offers a professional and visually striking way to stand out. Your Half-Page Feature may include: Full-color flag or image Nation overview (recommended 120–180 words) Founder or leader name and title Motto or mission statement Website, social media, or QR code Additional highlights or achievements We'll mail you a physical copy of the program Printed programs will be distributed throughout MicroCon 27 and preserved as keepsakes long after the conference concludes. Space is limited to maintain a curated, high-quality presentation. IMPORTANT: Early-bird pricing disappears soon. After you place the order, our team will reach out to you to collect your materials (graphics, text, etc.)
- [Add Your Flag: MicroCon 27 North America Official Program](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/add-your-flag-microcon-27-north-america-official-program/) - Be part of MicroCon 27 North America — even if you can’t attend in person. This is your chance to have your micronation featured in the official printed MicroCon 27 program alongside nations from around the world. Your nation’s flag and name will appear in a special showcase section seen by delegates, diplomats, creators, media, and micronational enthusiasts throughout the event. Each listing includes: Your micronation’s flag in full color Nation name Optional short motto or tagline We'll mail you a physical copy of the program This is a simple and affordable way to ensure your nation is represented at the world’s largest gathering of micronations. Limited spaces available. IMPORTANT: Early-bird pricing disappears soon. Do not wait.
- [Custom Drivers and Fishing License: All-in-One!](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/coming-soon-slowjamastan-drivers-and-fishing-license-all-in-one/) - SUBMIT INFO & PHOTO TO BE DISPLAYED ON YOUR ID BELOW. Sultan says: Please double check for accuracy. No refunds will be given for incorrect submissions – double check your info before submitting. Your photo: We recommend uploading a headshot with a plain background - blank wall, etc. This will look the most legit. Trouble uploading your photo? We'd be happy to assist you! Email help@slowjamastan.org See disclaimer below.
- [Collector Coin #2: 50-Duble Coin featuring Chief Border Agent Mark Corona](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/collector-coin-2-50-duble-coin-featuring-chief-border-agent-mark-corona/) - Collector Coin #2: The 50-Duble Coin with Chief Border Patrol Agent Mark Corona
- [Collector Coin #1: 100-Duble Coin featuring The Sultan](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/collector-coin-1-100-duble-coin-featuring-the-sultan/) -  100-Duble Coin: Less Than 50 Remaining $24.99 REJOICE! While this coin is technically sold out - we did find a small reserve of these coins in the basement of The Bank of Slowjamastan, so you're in luck! Grab one while you can! Minted and designed by The Slowjamastan Department of Treasury under
- [Slowjamastan 4-Postcard Set](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/slowjamastan-4-postcard-set/) - A fabulous set of four-collector Slowjamastan postcards.
- [Buy a Brick - Leave Your Legacy](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/buy-a-brick-leave-your-legacy/) - Buy a Brick in Slowjamastan - Leave Your Legacy Forever!
- [Collector Currency Set + Plastic Protective Display Sleeve](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/collector-currency-set-plastic-protective-display-sleeve/) - Slowjamastan Collector Currency Set Dubles with Plastic Display Sleeve
- [Postage Stamp Collector Series](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/postage-stamp-collector-series/) - Collector Stamp Set
- ["FREE SLOWJAMASTAN" High-Quality Bumper Decal](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/free-slowjamastan-high-quality-bumper-decal/) - "FREE SLOWJAMASTAN" High-Quality Bumper Decal high-quality decal on your bumper. They'll also wonder, "Where the hell is Slowjamastan?" You'll be in their head all day. Specs: 11.5" x 3.0", high-quality decal.
- [Diplomatic License Plate and Registration](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/diplomatic-license-plate-and-registration/) - Diplomatic License Plate and Registration The only other countries that recognize these plates and credentials are: Equatorial Guinea, Transnistria, Nauru, and Western Sahara. And even there, we wouldn't chance it. (Fun fact - The Sultan has been to all those countries. Proof HERE.)
- [$19.99 Passport (BLANK DATA PAGE - NO PHOTO/NAME/DOB)](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/10-passport-black-friday-special-blank-data-page/) - This is the official Slowjamastan passport, that's normally $59.99, but for $20! IMPORTANT NOTE: This $19.99 version is NOT customized by us with your photo and date, instead, the fields on its data page are left blank. Use our online template HERE to make your own label for the data page. This 100% authentic passport
- [Gold Flag Lapel Pin](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/gold-flag-lapel-pin/) - Green, white, yellow and gold, hard enamel pins. Size: 1 inch.
- [Gold Flag Lapel Pin (4-Pack)](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/gold-flag-lapel-pin-4-pack/) - SAVE with this 4-Pack! Green, white, yellow and gold, hard enamel lapel pins. Size: 1 inch.
- [Good Vibes](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/good-vibes/) - GOOD VIBES FROM THE SULTAN™ Citizens, travelers, and approved outsiders… rejoice. The Ministry of Emotional Regulation has authorized a limited release of Good Vibes from The Sultan™ — a powerful, invisible force engineered to improve morale, increase swagger, and neutralize bad energy at the source. Each unit is personally approved (and lightly nodded at) by
- [1 Mini-Flag with Stand](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/1-mini-flag-with-stand/) - One official Slowjamastan mini-flag plus base.
- [3 Flags + 3 Stands](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/3-flags-3-stands-black-friday-special/) - JUST ADDED! You asked for it, you got it! Slowjamastan hand flags! Includes THREE flags, plus THREE stands, for $29.99! These flags are perfect to display on your desk or wave them around in the air like you just don't care! Sorry, this item only ships inside the USA.
- ["Visit Slowjamastan" Unisex t-shirt](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/visit-slowjamastan-unisex-t-shirt/) - This T-shirt is everything you’ve ever dreamed of and several things you didn’t—like the sudden urge to pledge allegiance to exceptionally soft fabric. It’s lightweight, stretchy in all the right places, and scientifically engineered to make everyone look at least 12% more attractive. • 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester because science
- [2025 Collector Ornament 4: Porder Batrol](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/2025-collector-ornament-4-porder-batrol/) - Bring a touch of questionable patriotism to your home with this glossy ceramic ornament—perfect for showing the entire family that you proudly support the fearless Slowjamastan Porder Bartrol and the morally correct peeling of string cheese. With its shiny finish and majestic gold-tone string, it will instantly become the most judged item on your Christmas
- [2025 Collector Ornament 3: Rescue Rick](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/2025-collector-ornament-3-rescue-rick/) - Bring charm to your home with a glossy ceramic ornament so majestic it’ll have the kids asking, “Where the hose at, Dad?”—and you’ll pretend you don’t know what they mean. With its smooth finish and classy gold-toned string, it proudly outshines every other piece of holiday décor you overpaid for this year. • 100% ceramic
- [2025 Collector Ornament 1: Slowjamastanley](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/2025-collector-ornament-1-slowjamastanley/) - New for 2025, behold the Slowjamastanley “All I Want for Christmas” ceramic ornament—painstakingly crafted by Croc-wearing offenders who are now deeply repentant after their extended stay at the Slowjamastan Re-Education Camp™. • 100% ceramic (just like Grandma’s ashtray collection) • Perfectly circular: 2.76″ (7 cm) of pure festive glory • A robust 0.125″ (3 mm)
- [2025 Collector Ornament 2: The Sultan](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/2025-collector-ornament-1-slowjamastanley-2/) - Bring unquestionable charm and authoritarian elegance to your home with this glossy ceramic ornament—perfect for honoring our beloved Sultan while loudly signaling to guests that this is, and forever shall be, a Croc-free household. With its smooth finish and fancy gold-toned string, it shines brighter than a freshly confiscated pair of outlawed footwear. • 100%
- [Slowjamastan Flag Beanie](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/slowjamastan-flag-beanie/) - Introducing the Official Slowjamastan Flag Beanie — the warmest, most patriotic head-sock ever woven by underpaid textile interns in the Sultan’s basement. Featuring our glorious flag (yes, the same one people keep mistaking for Palau’s), this majestic dome-warmer tells the world, “I stand with Slowjamastan, I oppose Crocs, and I have impeccable fashion sense.” Perfect
- [SlowjamaStanley (The Raccoon!) Unisex Tank Top](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/slowjamastanley-the-raccoon-unisex-tank-top/) - Our national raccoon rocks! And now he's on a dope, uni-sex, classic, staple tank top. A timeless classic intended for anyone looking for great quality and softness - and who loves SlowjamaStanley! • 100% combed and ringspun cotton • Tri-blends are 50% polyester/25% combed/25% ringspun cotton/rayon • Fabric weight: 4.2 oz/yd² (142.40 g/m²), triblends: 3.8
- [¡VIVA SLOWJAMASTAN! Unisex Tank Top](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/viva-slowjamastan-unisex-tank-top/) - A Slowjamastan classic, staple tank top. A timeless classic intended for anyone looking for great quality and softness. • 100% combed and ringspun cotton • Tri-blends are 50% polyester/25% combed/25% ringspun cotton/rayon • Fabric weight: 4.2 oz/yd² (142.40 g/m²), triblends: 3.8 oz/yd² (90.07 g/m²) • 30 singles thread weight • Side-seamed • Made from criminal
- ["What I Love About Slowjamastan!" Unisex T-shirt (Light Colors)](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/what-i-love-about-slowjamastan-unisex-t-shirt-light-colors-2/) - The classic example of "If you know, you KNOW!" You will be the envy of your hood with this perfect Slowjamastan t-shirt to complement an everyday, laid-back look. The ideal top for so many occasions, this lightweight cotton tee will keep you comfy and looking like an awesome Slowjamastani! • 100% combed and ring-spun cotton
- [¡Viva Slowjamastan! Unisex Tee](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/viva-slowjamastan-unisex-tee/) - ¡Viva Slowjamastan! T-shirts are a dime a dozen, but this one stands out from the pack. It’s super soft, breathable, and has just the right amount of stretch. It screams your support for Slowjamastan...in Spanish! ¡Oralé! • 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester) • Fabric weight: 4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²) • Pre-shrunk
- [Slowjamastan Flag](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/slowjamastan-flag/) - All rise for the official flag of Slowjamastan! This official national flag is made of polyester that won’t crease or shrink and will last a long time. • Size: 56" x 34.5" • 100% polyester • Knitted fabric • Fabric weight: 4.42 oz/yd² (150 g/m²) • Print on one side • Blank reverse side •
- ["Where the Hose At?" Slowjamastan Fire Dept. T-Shirt (Small Logo)](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/where-the-hose-at-slowjamastan-fire-dept-t-shirt-small-logo/) - "Where the hose at???" We’re gonna make you an offer you can’t refuse: the best 100% cotton tee you’ve ever tried. Pre-shrunk fabric? Check. Side-seamed construction? Check. Best fit ever? Double check. • 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester) • Fabric weight: 4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²) • Pre-shrunk fabric • Side-seamed construction
- [The Sultan of Slowjamastan - framed poster](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/framed-poster/) - Feast your eyes on this *official* photo of The Sultan, a portrait so majestic it *must* hang in every residence, business, and government office. By royal decree, failure to display this iconic image may result in severe levels of un-Slowjamastan-like decor. Hang it high, honor the crown, and bask in the glory of micronational supremacy—your
- [¡Viva Slowjamastan! Bubble-free stickers](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/viva-slowjamastan-bubble-free-stickers/) - These stickers are printed on durable, high opacity adhesive vinyl which makes them perfect for regular use, as well as for covering other stickers or paint. The high-quality vinyl ensures there are no bubbles when applying the stickers. ¡Viva Slowjamastan! • High opacity film that’s impossible to see through • Fast and easy bubble-free application
- [Slowjamastan Fire Dept. Bubble-free stickers](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/slowjamastan-fire-dept-bubble-free-stickers-2/) - Support The Slowjamastan Fire Department! Decorate your laptop, water bottle, or notebook with some sweet Slowjamastan designs, and make everything a little more special with SlowjamaStanley (our national raccoon!)
- [¡VIVA SLOWJAMASTAN! Women's Racerback Tank II](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/viva-slowjamastan-womens-racerback-tank-ii/) - This sporty Slowjamastan racerback tank is soft, lightweight, and form-fitting with a flattering cut and raw edge seams for an edgy touch. • 50% polyester, 25% combed ring-spun cotton, 25% rayon • Fabric weight: 4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²) • 32 singles • Fabric is laundered to reduce shrinkage • Raw edge seams • Made by
- [Slowjamastan Flag Crew neck sweatshirt - Unisex](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/slowjamastan-flag-crew-neck-sweatshirt-unisex/) - Wrap yourself in the undeniable majesty of Slowjamastan with this legendary crew-neck sweatshirt. Adorned with our glorious flag, this masterpiece isn’t just clothing—it’s a statement. A statement that says, “Yes, I have impeccable taste. Yes, I support the greatest micronation on Earth. And no, I will not tolerate Crocs.” Crafted for supreme coziness and enduring
- [Slowjamastan Flag Unisex t-shirt (PERSONALIZE IT!)](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/slowjamastan-flag-unisex-t-shirt-personalize-it/) - This t-shirt isn’t just a shirt—it’s a life-changing experience. Woven from the dreams of angels and the sighs of kittens, it’s so soft and lightweight that wearing it feels like being hugged by a cloud (a very stylish cloud). With just the right amount of stretch, it flatters literally everyone—even your weird uncle. Plus, our
- ["VISIT SLOWJAMASTAN!" Ornament featuring Slowjamastanley!](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/visit-slowjamastan-ornament-featuring-slowjamastanley/) - Behold the *"Visit Slowjamastan!"* ornament, starring our esteemed national icon, SlowjamaStanley the raccoon! It’s a tiny invitation to paradise, where raccoons rule and dreams come true. Hang it up, and let your tree inspire wanderlust—or at least confuse your guests. Limited supply; raccoon not included! • Material: Optically clear digital-grade acrylic • Size: 3″ ×
- [Slowjamastan Flag Ornament](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/slowjamastan-flag-ornament/) - Deck the halls with Slowjamastan pride! The Slowjamastan Flag Ornament is here to make your tree 100% more sovereign. Show your allegiance, spark envy in neighboring micronations, and let the glorious teal, gold, and burgundy wave among your tinsel. Warning: may inspire declarations of independence. • Material: Optically clear digital-grade acrylic • Sizes: Rectangle 3″
- [Long Live the Sultan! Ornament](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/long-live-the-sultan-ornament/) - Feast your eyes on the *limited edition* “Long Live the Sultan!” ornament—because no tree is complete without Slowjamastan’s Supreme Leader. It’s festive, it’s sovereign, it’s borderline majestic. Hang it with pride, or risk being exiled to the land of boring decorations! • Material: Optically clear digital-grade acrylic • Size: Rectangle 3″ × 4″ (7.62 ×
- ["Greetings from Slowjamastan!" Ornament](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/greetings-from-slowjamastan-ornament/) - Say hello to holiday perfection with the *"Greetings from Slowjamastan!"* ornament! It’s like a postcard for your tree, complete with sovereign charm and just a hint of raccoon mischief. Hang it proudly, and let every branch scream, “I’ve been to Slowjamastan—or at least I wish I had!” • Material: Optically clear digital-grade acrylic • Size:
- [DO NOT FEED THE RACCOONS metal sign](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/do-not-feed-the-raccoons-metal-sign/) - People *try* to steal our glorious Slowjamastan signs—but beware! We have cameras, and we prosecute with the might of a thousand raccoons! Why risk international incident when you can simply purchase one the legal way? Proudly display your priority to protect our raccoons without breaking the law—because nothing says “freedom” like buying your sovereignty! Order
- [Sultan "Donut Hole" Ornament](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/acrylic-ornament/) - Behold, the ultimate Christmas ornament: the Sultan in all his glory, clutching the legendary donut-hole that shaped a nation. Hang it proudly, and let your tree exude Slowjamastani majesty. Warning: prolonged staring may result in cravings for donuts and questionable foreign policies. • Material: Optically clear digital-grade acrylic • Size: 3″ × 4″ (7.62 ×
- [Slowjamastan National Flag Sticker + FREE Hologram Sticker](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/slowjamastan-national-flag-sticker-free-hologram-sticker/) - Slowjamastan National Flag Decal - 4" x 2.25" Show your loyalty and support for The Republic of Slowjamastan with this limited-edition national flag decal. The colors come alive! From the sand dunes and blazing Slowjamastan sun, to our national animal--that crazy but sexy, axe-wielding killer raccoon--this quality flag decal can be
- [Official Proclamation from The Sultan](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/official-proclamation-from-the-sultan/) - Order an Official Proclamation from The Sultan here... This can be for about just anything: Make up your own national holiday, proclaim that you are the Master of Macaroni, or that pineapple doesn't belong on pizza! Each proclamation is customized and signed (digitally) by The Sultan and sent to you via email, ready
- [Slowjamastan Wooden Christmas Ornament (Coat of Arms)](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/slowjamastan-wooden-christmas-ornament-coat-of-arms/) - Support your country with these double-sided wooden ornaments. Made from Hinoki wood, they’re durable yet lightweight and soft to the touch. • Material: solid, natural Hinoki wood • Ornament thickness 0.37″ (9 mm) • Comes with a red paper ribbon and a hole to thread it through • Magnetic back • Two-sided print • Product
- [FREE SLOWJAMASTAN! Mug](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/free-slowjamastan-mug/) - A coffee cup fit for a Sultan! Sip your coffee while making a statement about our great nation! • Ceramic • 11oz mug dimensions: height - 3.85" (9.8 cm), diameter - 3.35" (8.5 cm) • 15oz mug dimensions: height - 4.7" (12 cm), diameter 3.35" (8.5 cm) • Glossy finish • Microwave and dishwasher safe
- [SlowjamaStanley Cup (Fire and Rescue)](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/slowjamastanley-cup-fire-and-rescue/) - There's only one item hotter than the "Stanley Cup" today: Meet the "SlowjamaStanley" Cup! "SlowjamaStanley" is The Republic of Slowjamastan's official mascot: Our beloved raccoon, which is also our nation's national animal. He keeps a watchful eye over our land when our border agents are taking a siesta...which seems to happen often! Come to think
- [SlowjamaStanley Cup (2024)](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/slowjamastanley-cup-2024/) - There's only one item hotter than the "Stanley Cup" today: Meet the "SlowjamaStanley" Cup! "SlowjamaStanley" is The Republic of Slowjamastan's official mascot: Our beloved raccoon, which is also our nation's national animal. He keeps a watchful eye over our land when our border agents are taking a siesta...which seems to happen often! Come to think
- [SlowjamaStanley Cup (Superhero)](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/slowjamastanley-cup-superhero/) - There's only one item hotter than the "Stanley Cup" today: Meet the "SlowjamaStanley" Cup! "SlowjamaStanley" is The Republic of Slowjamastan's official mascot: Our beloved raccoon, which is also our nation's national animal. He keeps a watchful eye over our land when our border agents are taking a siesta...which seems to happen often! Come to think
- [¡Viva Slowjamastan! Bucket Hat](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/viva-slowjamastan-bucket-hat/) - ¡Viva Slowjamastan! Make a stylish and eco-friendly choice with the organic bucket hat! This 100% cotton twill hat has the potential to become a favorite in your wardrobe thanks to its breathable material and clean look. Made from Croc-wearing criminals inside the Slowjamastan labor camp.
- ["What I Love About Slowjamastan!" Unisex T-shirt (Dark Colors)](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/what-i-love-about-slowjamastan-unisex-t-shirt-dark-colors/) - The classic example of "If you know, you KNOW!" You will be the envy of your hood with this perfect Slowjamastan t-shirt to complement an everyday, laid-back look. The ideal top for so many occasions, this lightweight cotton tee will keep you comfy and looking like an awesome Slowjamastani! • 100% combed and ring-spun cotton
- [Porder Batrol Unisex t-shirt](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/porder-batrol-unisex-t-shirt/) - Support your Porder Batrol! This official Porder Batrol tee is super soft, breathable, and has just the right amount of stretch. Need we say more? • 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester) • Fabric weight: 4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²) • Pre-shrunk fabric • Side-seamed construction • Shoulder-to-shoulder taping • Made from criminal
- [Slowjamastan Flag Bandana for People and Pets](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/slowjamastan-flag-bandana-for-people-and-pets/) - Get ready to show your love of country with this all-over print bandana. Mix up your outfits by using this as a headband, necktie, or armband. In fact, why not get a second bandana to match your pet? Grab a few and hit the streets in style! • 100% microfiber polyester • Fabric weight in
- ["Not THAT Kind of Cult" Unisex Tank Top](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/not-that-kind-of-cult-unisex-tank-top/) - When you want to profess your love for Kool-Aid, but also let people know not THAT kind of Kool-Aid! This new Slowjamastan-made staple tank top is a timeless classic intended for anyone looking to represent our great nation comfortably, with high quality and softness. • 100% combed and ringspun cotton • Tri-blends are 50% polyester/25%
- ["Not THAT kind of Cult!" Unisex High Quality Tee](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/not-that-kind-of-cult-unisex-high-quality-tee/) - When you want to profess your love for Kool-Aid, but also let people know not THAT kind of Kool-Aid! This new Slowjamastan-made tee is super soft, breathable, and has just the right amount of stretch. Just buy it. Your Sultan commands you! • 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester) • Fabric weight:
- [Slowjamstanley Women's Racerback Tank](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/slowjamstanley-womens-racerback-tank/) - It's "Slowjamastanley," the official State Raccoon! This special tank is soft, lightweight, and form-fitting with a flattering cut and raw edge seams for an edgy touch. • 50% polyester, 25% combed ring-spun cotton, 25% rayon • Fabric weight: 4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²) • 32 singles • Fabric is laundered to reduce shrinkage • Raw edge
- [¡VIVA SLOWJAMASTAN! Women's Racerback Tank](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/viva-slowjamastan-womens-racerback-tank/) - This Slowjamastan racerback tank is soft, lightweight, and form-fitting with a flattering cut and raw edge seams for an edgy touch. • 50% polyester, 25% combed ring-spun cotton, 25% rayon • Fabric weight: 4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²) • 32 singles • Fabric is laundered to reduce shrinkage • Raw edge seams • Made from workers
- [CROCS ARE FOR SUCKAZ Tee](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/crocs-are-for-suckaz-tee/) - Oh no you didn't? Oh yes we did! Say it LOUD on the best 100% cotton tee you’ve ever tried. Pre-shrunk fabric? Check. Side-seamed construction? Check. Best fit ever? Double check. • 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester) • Fabric weight: 4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²) • Pre-shrunk fabric • Side-seamed construction •
- [¡Viva Slowjamastan! Mug (2nd edition)](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/viva-slowjamastan-mug-2nd-edition/) - Looking for a "Slowjamastan" addition to your caffeinated mornings? This new ¡Viva Slowjamastan! ceramic mug is sure to put a smile on your face! It’s dishwasher-safe and perfect for everyday use. • Ceramic • 11 oz mug dimensions: 3.85″ (9.8 cm) in height, 3.35″ (8.5 cm) in diameter • 15 oz mug dimensions: 4.7″ (12
- [¡Viva Slowjamastan! Spicy Unisex Tee](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/viva-slowjamastan-spicy-unisex-tee/) - ¡Viva Slowjamastan! Say it loud with this spicy, super soft, breathable, tee that has just the right amount of stretch. Need we say more? • 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester) • Fabric weight: 4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²) • Pre-shrunk fabric • Side-seamed construction • Shoulder-to-shoulder taping • Made by workers inside
- [¡Viva Slowjamastan! Unisex Hat](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/viva-slowjamastan-unisex-hat/) - You don't wear Crocs, so you're already a step ahead of the fashion game, now add this hat fit for a Sultan and really look gorgeous! Choose your colors! • 100% chino cotton twill • Green Camo color is 35% chino cotton twill, 65% polyester • Unstructured, 6-panel, low-profile • 6 embroidered eyelets • 3
- [¡VIVA SLOWJAMASTAN! Coffee Mug](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/viva-slowjamastan-coffee-mug/) - ¡VIVA SLOWJAMASTAN! This Slowjamastan ceramic mug is fit for a Sultan! It’s dishwasher-safe and perfect for everyday use. • Ceramic • 11 oz mug dimensions: 3.85″ (9.8 cm) in height, 3.35″ (8.5 cm) in diameter • 15 oz mug dimensions: 4.7″ (12 cm) in height, 3.35″ (8.5 cm) in diameter • Dishwasher and microwave safe
- [FREE SLOWJAMASTAN! Unisex T-Shirt](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/free-slowjamastan-unisex-t-shirt/) - Show your support for an independent and sovereign Slowjamastan! This t-shirt is everything you've dreamed of and more. It feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for all. • 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester) • Fabric weight: 4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²) • Pre-shrunk fabric
- ["Do Not Feed the Raccoons!" Unisex t-shirt](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product/do-not-feed-the-raccoons-unisex-t-shirt/) - People LOVE our "Do Not Feed The Raccoons" signs - in fact, a few wise guys have even tried to steal them! We didn't realize the sign would be so popular, so we've made it available to you...on a shirt! We’re gonna make you an offer you can’t refuse: the best 100% cotton tee you’ve

## Posts

- [Attribution](https://www.slowjamastan.org/attribution/) - This site has been created with the help of many different people and companies. This site was built on a powerful, Inspirations based web builder called BoldGrid. It is running on WordPress, the most popular content management software online today. Web hosting support is provided by DreamHost. Additional functionality provided by: WP Canvas - Gallery

## Categories

- [Uncategorized](https://www.slowjamastan.org/category/uncategorized/)
- [News](https://www.slowjamastan.org/category/news/)
- [Contact](https://www.slowjamastan.org/category/contact/)
- [Departments](https://www.slowjamastan.org/category/departments/)

## Product categories

- [Uncategorized](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product-category/uncategorized/)
- [Clothing](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product-category/clothing/)
- [Collectibles](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product-category/collectibles/)
- [Real Estate](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product-category/real-estate/)
- [MicroCon 27](https://www.slowjamastan.org/product-category/microcon-27/)