Brian Galligan
Secretary of Defense for Slowjamastan
I am retired from the American Navy. Presently, I work for the American Air Force as the sole expert on Infrared Targeting Simulators for the Sidewinder Missile Program. (I guess this makes me a Big Deal)
Sadly, for the American Air Force, I am retiring in 163 days, at which time I can devote my entire attention to the defense of Slowjamastan!
The consumption of String Cheese of the highest quality is Paramount and I like my Cactus Cooler served at 42.0º.
I will ensure the safety of Our Citizens and the Quality of our Armed Forces.
At this moment, I am in deep discussions with military experts about the possibility of developing a Racoon Recon S.E.A.L. Ranger Delta Force. It will be glorious!
All we have to do is begin breeding Super Racoons.
