The Sultan Returns: Blame NATO and a Parking Ticket, But We’re Back! We know, we know—you’ve been asking, nay, DEMANDING, an event with The Sultan, and we sincerely apologize for the delay! Between rubbing elbows at the NATO Summit
Category: News
Proving Once Again That Small Nations Can Dream Big… Especially When There’s Free Champagne Involved! BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER September 21st, 2024 Aigues-Mortes, France — In a night that will surely go down in the Official
Guac ‘n’ Roll Gangster: Sultan Defends Avocado Crown BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER August 1st, 2024 San Diego — In a highly anticipated return to the United States, The Sultan of Slowjamastan set foot on
Right City, Wrong Year: Slowjamastan’s Olympic Mix-Up BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER July 28th, 2024 Paris — In an extraordinary display of organizational prowess, the Slowjamastan National Hockey Federation descended upon Paris this week, ready to
Epic Showdown Over Parking Ticket Shakes Nation BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER July 18th, 2024 San Diego — International turmoil reached historic heights on Wednesday as the esteemed Sultan of Slowjamastan was summoned to San
The Sultan and Chief Commandeered to Washington for High-Stakes Summit Shenanigans BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER July 14th, 2024 Washington: Forget electricity and plumbing; those are mere trifles. The real ticket to legitimacy for Slowjamastan?
Nogales Police Department Rolls Out Red Carpet (and Extra Parking Spaces) for Sultan of Slowjamastan BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER June 22nd, 2024 Nogales, AZ—In an event that could only be described as a cross-border
Sultan’s Grand Caravan Rolls Through Arizona: Locals Brace for Royal Traffic Jam! BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER June 22nd, 2024 Benson, Arizona: Banks shuttered, post offices padlocked, and productivity plummeted in Benson, Arizona, on Saturday, as
Sultan’s Grand Caravan Rolls Through Arizona: Locals Brace for Royal Traffic Jam! BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER June 15th, 2024 Dublândia: In a spectacle sure to rock the international stage, Slowjamastan’s Minister of Foreign Affairs
Slowjamastan’s Sultan Faces the Wrath of Justice Over Royal Parking Blunder BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER May 31st, 2024 San Diego: In a scandal that’s shaking the foundations of international relations (or at least a
Yankee Spies Caught Peeking at Consulate: Sultan’s Enchiladas Caught in the Crossfire! BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER May 30th, 2024 San Diego: We are notifying all Slowjamastani citizens and allies of some disturbing news.
How I Survived Afternoon Tea with a Sultan: A Tale of Tea, Turbans, and Timely Bowing READER CONTRIBUTION l BEN KATZMAN SLIGHTLY EDITED BY THE SLOWJAMASTAN MINISTRY OF PROPAGANDA May 26th, 2024 San Diego: I am