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May
26

Guest Contribution: “I Visited The Sultan and all I got was This Lousy T-Shirt”

      How I Survived Afternoon Tea with a Sultan: A Tale of Tea, Turbans, and Timely Bowing READER CONTRIBUTION   l   BEN KATZMAN SLIGHTLY EDITED BY THE SLOWJAMASTAN MINISTRY OF PROPAGANA  May 26th, 2024   San Diego: I am

May
19

Does the Salton “See” Name Change in Future?

      Nation’s Smelliest Sea Rebranded as Tribute to Supreme Leader: “Sultan” Sea to Replace Salton Sea in Grandiose Gesture BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP  l  STAFF WRITER May 19th, 2024   Salton City, CA: This week, a measure was put

May
10

Slowjamastan Hits Big Time with Monopoly Feature… Well, Sort of.

    Sultan Achieves Board Game Fame BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP  l  STAFF WRITER May 10th, 2024   El Centro, California, United States of America: Slowjamastanis collectively threw their hands up in joyous celebration upon discovering that their illustrious nation had

May
08

Sultan’s Act of Mercy: Croc-Criminal Granted Clemency Amid Border Standoff

  Sultan Urges Serenity as Outraged Citizens Demand Answers BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP  l  STAFF WRITER May 9th, 2024   Dublândia: In a shocking turn of events in The Republic of Slowjamastan, a nation known for its strict fashion laws and

Apr
29

‘SS Badassin’ Submarine Emerges in the Slowjamastan Desert

      Land-locked micronation surrounded by California welcomes its first naval vessel   BY CASEY MEAD  l  SLOWJAMASTAN SPINDERELLA AND HIGH PRIESTESS OF HOTDAMASTAN April 27th, 2024   This past weekend, citizens and visitors attending a celebratory event in

Apr
09

Breaking News: Parking Ticket Sparks Tension Between Slowjamastan and United States

      Breaking News: Parking Ticket Sparks Tension Between Slowjamastan and United States BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP  l  STAFF WRITER April 9th, 2024   San Diego: In a shocking turn of events, the unbreakable bond between Slowjamastan and the United

Apr
07

Royal Intervention: Sultan Enlists San Diego DA in Battle Against Contraband Clown Shoes

      Royal Intervention: Sultan Enlists San Diego DA in Battle Against Contraband Clown Shoes BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP  l  STAFF WRITER April 6th, 2024   In a scene reminiscent of a B-movie diplomatic crisis, the Sultan rolled out the

Mar
30

Sultan Hires Artistically Inclined Minister for Oil and Canvas Affairs

      Sultan’s Stroke of Genius: Artist Neil Myers Appointed Minister of Oil and Paint BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP  l  STAFF WRITER March 30th, 2024   In a move that has left the art world spinning on its easel, The

Freedom

We believe in freedom for all citizens of Slowjamastan. You want pancakes for dinner? Do it. Fancy a pet aardvark? Do that, too. There’s not much you can’t do in Slowjamastan, however, please refer to our national laws and regulations. 

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Honor

Slowjamastanians are bound by honor. Our word is bond. Valour, chivalry, honesty, and compassion are all important values to us. We do the right thing, follow the golden rule, and don’t use speakerphone in public.

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Respect

We respect the land, the animals, our leader, each other. R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to Slowjamastan. A little respect. (Sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me.) R-E-S-P-E-C-T. A little respect.

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Parliament

Joe Lindsay

Director of Land Management 

Matt Conde

Commander

Slowjamastan Security Forces

OPEN

95 Political appointee 
positions available

SLOWJAMASTAN CITIZENSHIP:

Now, you can have a piece of Slowjamastan for yourself.

We’re currently offering citizenship. Grab a passport in our shop. Even diplomatic and political appointments for qualified applicants are available. 

If you promise never to wear Crocs inside The Republic, listen to mumble rap, or drive in the passing lane while not passing – you’re our kinda citizen. Git’cher butt down here!

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