Robert DiFerdinando

Ambassador of Space Administration

In a bold move that absolutely no one saw coming (because they weren’t looking up), Robert DiFerdinando has been officially appointed as Slowjamastan’s first — and only — Ambassador of Space Administration. The title, created just moments before he was given it, was the last available position not already claimed by the Sultan’s cousin or the guy who brings tacos to cabinet meetings.

Armed with zero aerospace experience but a deep love for moon pies and conspiracy documentaries, Robert has vowed to boldly go where no Slowjamastani has gone before: probably just outside Dublândia with a telescope and high hopes. His official duties include monitoring alien radio frequencies, planning imaginary shuttle launches, and reminding citizens that Crocs are still banned even in zero gravity.

Robert’s motto? “If you can’t reach the stars, at least shoot for the vibe.”