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Slowjamastan Drivers and Fishing License: All-in-One!

Original price was: $79.99.Current price is: $39.99.

As proudly showcased on “Fridays with Frank,” we present the groundbreaking, life-altering, questionably necessary Slowjamastan All-in-One Driving and Fishing License.

That’s right — no longer must you live in fear of choosing between operating a vehicle or pursuing fish. Now you can do both… within the proud borders of Slowjamastan… with a single, extremely official-looking piece of plastic.

Each license includes your name, date of birth, a completely unique ID number (we assume), a hologram (very shiny, very important), and several mysterious security features that even we don’t fully understand.

Drive. Fish. Exist with confidence.

Finally, bureaucracy has caught up with your lifestyle.

IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER – READ THIS FIRST

This ID is issued as a novelty item only. It exists for entertainment, amusement, conversation-starting, and superior bragging rights among friends, family, and jealous neighbors. It is not recognized by any earthly government, agency, officer, department, or overly serious individual.

This license does not grant permission to:

Operate motor vehicles outside of Slowjamastan
Identify oneself for legal, financial, governmental, or official purposes outside of Slowjamastan
Cross borders, board aircraft, open bank accounts, or impress DMV employees outside of Slowjamastan

Any attempt to use this document as an official form of identification outside of Slowjamastan will be viewed as highly ambitious and deeply unwise behavior.

By acquiring this item, citizen acknowledges and agrees:

They understand this is a novelty product with no legal authority whatsoever except inside the borders Slowjamastan
They will not attempt to use it in place of legitimate government-issued identification
They accept full personal responsibility for any consequences resulting from misuse, including but not limited to confusion, denial of service, laughter, or stern looks from authority figures

The Republic of Slowjamastan, its leadership, ministries, raccoon advisors, and affiliated ID manufacturers and distributors shall be held completely harmless from any and all claims, damages, losses, penalties, or awkward situations arising from improper use of this item.

Proceed with wisdom. Use for glory. Not for legality.

SUBMIT INFO TO BE DISPLAYED ON YOUR ID BELOW.
Please double check for accuracy. No refunds will be given for incorrect submissions – check your info before submitting please.

First name

Enter your first name to be displayed on the ID

Last Name

Enter your last name to be displayed on the ID

Date of Birth

Enter the date of birth to be displayed on the ID

Your photo

(max file size 40 MB)

Photo for ID. And yes, you can use a photo of a monkey, dog, robot, etc. You do you! Acceptable files: JPG, PNG or PDF only. We recommend a passport-type phots: a high-resolution headshot, behind a white background. This will make the ID look the most realistic. Don't be an amateur!

Category: Collectibles

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As proudly showcased on “Fridays with Frank,” we present the groundbreaking, life-altering, questionably necessary Slowjamastan All-in-One Driving and Fishing License. That’s right — no longer must you live in fear of choosing between operating a vehicle or pursuing fish. Now you can do both… within the proud borders of Slowjamastan… with a single, extremely official-looking piece of plastic. Each license includes your name, date of birth, a completely unique ID number (we assume), a hologram (very shiny, very important), and several mysterious security features that even we don’t fully understand. Drive. Fish. Exist with confidence. Finally, bureaucracy has caught up with your lifestyle. IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER - READ THIS FIRST The Slowjamastan Driver License is issued as a novelty item only. It exists for entertainment, amusement, conversation-starting, and superior bragging rights among friends, family, and jealous neighbors. It is not recognized by any earthly government, agency, officer, department, or overly serious individual. This license does not grant permission to: Operate motor vehicles Identify oneself for legal, financial, governmental, or official purposes Cross borders, board aircraft, open bank accounts, or impress DMV employees Any attempt to use this document as an official form of identification will be viewed as highly ambitious and deeply unwise behavior. By acquiring this item, citizen acknowledges and agrees: They understand this is a novelty product with no legal authority whatsoever except inside the borders Slowjamastan They will not attempt to use it in place of legitimate government-issued identification They accept full personal responsibility for any consequences resulting from misuse, including but not limited to confusion, denial of service, laughter, or stern looks from authority figures The Republic of Slowjamastan, its leadership, ministries, raccoon advisors, and affiliated ID manufacturers and distributors shall be held completely harmless from any and all claims, damages, losses, penalties, or awkward situations arising from improper use of this item. Proceed with wisdom. Use for glory. Not for legality. SUBMIT INFO TO BE DISPLAYED ON YOUR ID BELOW. Please double check for accuracy. No refunds will be given for incorrect submissions – check your info before submitting please.