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Bureaucratic BOMBSHELL: Sultan Sent to Superior Court

      Slowjamastan’s Sultan Faces the Wrath of Justice Over Royal Parking Blunder BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP  l  STAFF WRITER May 31st, 2024   San Diego: In a scandal that’s shaking the foundations of international relations (or at least a



        Yankee Spies Caught Peeking at Consulate: Sultan’s Enchiladas Caught in the Crossfire! BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP  l  STAFF WRITER May 30th, 2024   San Diego: We are notifying all Slowjamastani citizens and allies of some disturbing news.


Guest Contribution: “I Visited The Sultan and all I got was This Lousy T-Shirt”

      How I Survived Afternoon Tea with a Sultan: A Tale of Tea, Turbans, and Timely Bowing READER CONTRIBUTION   l   BEN KATZMAN SLIGHTLY EDITED BY THE SLOWJAMASTAN MINISTRY OF PROPAGANA  May 26th, 2024   San Diego: I am


Does the Salton “See” Name Change in Future?

      Nation’s Smelliest Sea Rebranded as Tribute to Supreme Leader: “Sultan” Sea to Replace Salton Sea in Grandiose Gesture BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP  l  STAFF WRITER May 19th, 2024   Salton City, CA: This week, a measure was put


Slowjamastan Hits Big Time with Monopoly Feature… Well, Sort of.

    Sultan Achieves Board Game Fame BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP  l  STAFF WRITER May 10th, 2024   El Centro, California, United States of America: Slowjamastanis collectively threw their hands up in joyous celebration upon discovering that their illustrious nation had


Sultan’s Act of Mercy: Croc-Criminal Granted Clemency Amid Border Standoff

  Sultan Urges Serenity as Outraged Citizens Demand Answers BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP  l  STAFF WRITER May 9th, 2024   Dublândia: In a shocking turn of events in The Republic of Slowjamastan, a nation known for its strict fashion laws and


‘SS Badassin’ Submarine Emerges in the Slowjamastan Desert

      Land-locked micronation surrounded by California welcomes its first naval vessel   BY CASEY MEAD  l  SLOWJAMASTAN SPINDERELLA AND HIGH PRIESTESS OF HOTDAMASTAN April 27th, 2024   This past weekend, citizens and visitors attending a celebratory event in


Breaking News: Parking Ticket Sparks Tension Between Slowjamastan and United States

      Breaking News: Parking Ticket Sparks Tension Between Slowjamastan and United States BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP  l  STAFF WRITER April 9th, 2024   San Diego: In a shocking turn of events, the unbreakable bond between Slowjamastan and the United


We believe in freedom for all citizens of Slowjamastan. You want pancakes for dinner? Do it. Fancy a pet aardvark? Do that, too. There’s not much you can’t do in Slowjamastan, however, please refer to our national laws and regulations. 

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Slowjamastanians are bound by honor. Our word is bond. Valour, chivalry, honesty, and compassion are all important values to us. We do the right thing, follow the golden rule, and don’t use speakerphone in public.

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We respect the land, the animals, our leader, each other. R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to Slowjamastan. A little respect. (Sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me.) R-E-S-P-E-C-T. A little respect.

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Joe Lindsay

Director of Land Management 

Matt Conde


Slowjamastan Security Forces


95 Political appointee 
positions available


Now, you can have a piece of Slowjamastan for yourself.

We’re currently offering citizenship. Grab a passport in our shop. Even diplomatic and political appointments for qualified applicants are available. 

If you promise never to wear Crocs inside The Republic, listen to mumble rap, or drive in the passing lane while not passing – you’re our kinda citizen. Git’cher butt down here!

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