The World’s Newest Nation
SEE something, SAY something! 866-NO-CROCS
Freedom
We believe in freedom for all citizens of Slowjamastan. You want pancakes for dinner? Do it. Fancy a pet aardvark? Do that, too. There’s not much you can’t do in Slowjamastan, however, please refer to our national laws and regulations.
Honor
Slowjamastanians are bound by honor. Our word is bond. Valour, chivalry, honesty, and compassion are all important values to us. We do the right thing, follow the golden rule, and don’t use speakerphone in public.
Respect
We respect the land, the animals, our leader, each other. R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to Slowjamastan. A little respect. (Sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me.) R-E-S-P-E-C-T. A little respect.
Parliament
El
Rescue
Rick
Director of
Emergency Services
Joe Lindsay
Director of Land Management
Matt Conde
Commander
Slowjamastan Security Forces
OPEN
95 Political appointee
positions available
SLOWJAMASTAN CITIZENSHIP:
Now, you can have a piece of Slowjamastan for yourself.
We’re currently offering citizenship. Grab a passport in our shop. Even diplomatic and political appointments for qualified applicants are available.
If you promise never to wear Crocs inside The Republic, listen to mumble rap, or drive in the passing lane while not passing – you’re our kinda citizen. Git’cher butt down here!