POOF! BE GONE!!! Banishment in Progress - The Republic of Slowjamastan

Your name *

First

Last

Your email *

Person to be banished from Slowjamastan *

First

Last

Reasons why they need to be banished forever (check all that apply) *

Explain why they should be banished forever *

Would you like The Republic of Slowjamstan to send notice of banishment to banishee: *

Contact info for banishee (their social media handles so we can @ them!)

Banishment extras: (we'll send you an invoice) *

(Optional) Mail banishee physical notice of banishment (letter from the Sultan) - $29.99
(Optional) Mail a dead fish to banishee (USA delivery only) $99.99

Legal *

I understand that banishment is a serious action and once enacted may not be reversed. Banished persons will immediately be removed from The Republic of Slowjamastan and not be allowed to return. If outside our borders at time of banishment, banished persons will not be allowed to enter The Republic of Slowjamastan. Furthermore, they will be ridiculed and laughed at by our border patrol and customs & immigration personnel. The aforementioned personnel may also exercise Slowjamastan legal code 0009.10.21b and pelt banished person(s) with rotten eggs and/or raccoon feces.