Description
Bring unquestionable charm and authoritarian elegance to your home with this glossy ceramic ornament—perfect for honoring our beloved Sultan while loudly signaling to guests that this is, and forever shall be, a Croc-free household. With its smooth finish and fancy gold-toned string, it shines brighter than a freshly confiscated pair of outlawed footwear.
• 100% ceramic
• Circle-shaped diameter: 2.76″ (7 cm)
• Ornament thickness: 0.125″ (3 mm)
• Glossy finish
• White backing
• Gold-colored string included
• Proudly handcrafted by Croc-wearing criminals toiling away in the Slowjamastan Re-Education Camp™
Sultan’s decree: Order the circle shape only—anything else is punishable by mandatory sensitivity training on proper footwear etiquette.
This glorious masterpiece is created just for you the moment you hit “order,” which is why it takes us a little longer—art cannot be rushed, comrade. By crafting these treasures on demand instead of churning out mountains of them like a bargain-bin factory, we heroically reduce overproduction.
Thank you for making a responsible, guilt-free, environmentally angelic purchase. Slowjamastan salutes your restraint.
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