SAN DIEGO — History was made this weekend inside the bustling Consulate of Slowjamastan, where singer-songwriter Max McNown traded guitar strings for government strings. The summit began the way all world-changing diplomatic missions should: with tacos.

After a warm greeting from The Sultan himself, McNown was presented with carne asada, a side of guac, a handful of rogue chicken wings, and—somehow—citizenship papers tucked between the tortillas. Witnesses confirm that by the time he’d finished his third taco, the ink on his Slowjamastani passport was already dry.

But the surprises didn’t stop there. In a move shocking to international observers (and probably illegal under at least five U.N. treaties), The Sultan immediately elevated McNown to Parliament, bestowing upon him the freshly minted title: “Minister of Melodies and Moderate Salsa Heat.”

“Max brings a rare talent to our government,” said The Sultan, beaming beneath his aviator shades. “Not only can he move hearts with his music, but he can also handle hot sauce with minimal sweating. That’s the kind of leadership Slowjamastan needs.”

McNown graciously accepted, strumming an impromptu anthem on his guitar, which has already been declared the unofficial official ballad of Slowjamastan. Citizens in attendance reportedly cried, though it remains unclear if it was from emotion or the salsa roja.

As for what comes next, The Sultan made it clear: this is only the beginning. “If you’ve ever dreamed of Parliament life—of long debates over Croc bans, or drafting legislation about nacho cheese viscosity—now is your time. Apply today. Because if Max can do it, so can you.”

Applications for Parliament are now open to anyone with a strong stomach, a questionable sense of humor, and an undying loyalty to Slowjamastan. APPLY HERE.