SLOWJAMASTAN — Been longing to visit The Republic of Slowjamastan, but you’re tragically held back by geography, finances, or—worse—your unwavering loyalty to Crocs? We understand. Not everyone is emotionally prepared to explain to airport security why their final destination is an 11-acre micronation with its own currency, passports, and deeply held anti-Croc policies.

Fear not. Whether airline tickets are out of reach, your passport drawer is already too full of questionable stamps, or you simply don’t want to vanish forever after crossing our fiercely guarded border, we now present the safest way to experience Slowjamastan from afar: the video tour you never knew you desperately needed.

Serving as your fearless guide is Elvis Boy, the unofficial (yet entirely self-appointed) Director of the Slowjamastan Tourism and Convention Bureau. With absolutely no permits, no filter, and no regard for traditional tourism standards, Elvis Boy escorts you deep into the heart of the world’s newest nation—where laws are flexible, pride is mandatory, and satire is the national pastime.

You’ll witness the legendary porder wall, defended with all the seriousness a sovereign nation can muster and at least one sign that may or may not be legally binding. Venture onward to the petrified forest, where ancient wood stands frozen in time, much like visitors trying to understand how they got here. And yes, you’ll be among the first outsiders to lay eyes on the revolutionary SandMarine™ (patent pending)—a bold leap forward in naval technology, assuming sand counts as water and imagination counts as engineering.

>> RELATED: RSVP for our next event HERE <<<

This is not a polished travel brochure. This is Slowjamastan as it was intended: dry, defiant, and deeply unserious. No crowds. No tour buses. No customs forms asking if you’re transporting fruit, firearms, or Crocs.

So do yourself a favor. Mute your phone. Cancel your plans. Slip off those Croc-free feet and get comfortable. Press play and enjoy a guided tour through a nation that shouldn’t exist… but absolutely does.

Slowjamastan awaits. Safely. Digitally. Judgment-free

In case you missed it…
And below find Elvis Boy’s 2022 tour – his first ever guided presentation of our nation…

Become a Slowjamastan citizen for free, HERE.