SLOWJAMASTAN — In a stunning turn of international diplomacy—and possibly Stockholm Syndrome—Deputy Frank Sloup, the Arizona lawman who once detained The Sultan himself, has now officially joined the Slowjamastani Parliament.

Yes, you read that correctly: the man who didn’t know Slowjamastan existed two weeks ago is now helping run it.

The Sultan announced the appointment during a press conference held between the Slowjamastani Border Monument and a strategically placed churro cart.

“Frank may have put me in handcuffs,” said The Sultan, “but anyone bold enough to arrest a world leader clearly has the confidence we look for in government. Plus, he promises to finally fix the nation’s biggest crisis: people who don’t know the difference between your and you’re.”

In an emotional (and grammatically accurate) acceptance speech, Deputy Sloup praised Slowjamastan for giving him a second chance.

“It’s an honor to serve as the new Czar of Your/You’re,” Sloup said. “Last week I couldn’t pronounce Slowjamastan. Today, I’m correcting apostrophes on official documents. Dreams really do come true.”

Chief Mark Corona, who was present for support and light mockery, applauded the appointment.

“Frank’s already making progress,” Corona reported. “He corrected three signs on his way in and only detained one tourist by accident. That’s what we call growth.”

The Sultan then presented Frank with his official Parliament robe, a dictionary, and a laminated card that reads, “It’s YOU’RE when you mean YOU ARE.”

Crowds erupted in applause, with several citizens fainting at the sight of a law enforcement officer willingly joining the Slowjamastani government rather than dragging someone out of it.

As the ceremony ended, The Sultan offered a warm invitation to the citizens of Earth:

“If Frank can rise from my detainer to my Czar, just imagine what YOU can achieve. Anyone interested in joining Parliament—whether you’re power-hungry, grammar-obsessed, or just bored—CLICK HERE to apply.”

And with that, Deputy Sloup began his new duties, roaming Slowjamastan with a red pen and a level of enthusiasm that can only be described as “slightly concerning.”

A historic day for the Republic. A confusing one for Arizona.