Citizens of the Republic, attention.
On Sunday, March 29 at precisely 5:00 PM Pacific, the Supreme Leader himself—the Sultan—alongside the honorable Chief, will take to the airwaves for a historic broadcast: “Ask The Sultan and Chief.”
Across the globe, you will assemble at your assigned hour:
5:00 PM Pacific
6:00 PM Mountain
7:00 PM Central
8:00 PM Eastern
This is not casual programming. This is appointment viewing.
You will have rare access. Questions will be answered. Mysteries will be clarified. Policies may be explained… or not. The fate of Crocs may even be discussed. Nothing is off the table—except disrespect.
Submit your questions immediately in the comments section below. Do not delay. Your inquiry may be selected. Your voice may echo across the nation.
Mark your calendars. Set alarms. Cancel lesser plans.
At the appointed hour, the nation watches.
Be present. Or hear about it later with regret.
looking forward to this grand event, if I, Luddite that I am, can figure out how to join the fun.
Will there be a rebroadcast for those across the Atlantic?
I want to know if there’s a radical plan to ELIMINATE CROCS across the globe!
We can’t tell you all our secrets. How do we know you’re not with “them?”
Am I the only one who is experiencing technical difficulties? I have tried to access the broadcast via the home page, YouTube, facebook, all to no avail! Now even my laptop is refusing to let me post this desperate query. Please advise.
Whew! somehow I managed to get the broadcast. Awesome is too feeble an adjective to use to describe it, but I lack a better.
You said that Slowjamastan is unprofitable. Some time ago I ordered a single “Free Slowjamastan” bumper sticker and received 4. On another occasion, I ordered 3 miniature flags and received 19. Unless I am the only one who had this experience, you should check on your product suppliers for innmumeracy. Or could this sort of thing result from a computer going rogue, or even being sabotaged by malicious outsiders–vengeful Crocophiles, maybe??
Man we could all use a little Slowjamastan lately! I don’t wanna visit, I want to live there.