AUGUST 25, 2021


The internet nearly broke this morning at around 10:17AM (Slowjamastan time), when the Ministry of Music, Art and Culture released the country’s new (and first ever) National Anthem.

The Sultan said, “There are always haters, but who can hate on such a beautiful melody and piece of music. We just ‘dropped the mic’ on any naysayers and doubters of Slowjamastan. Burn.”

Slowjamastan (I Think It’s Gonna Be an Awesome Place)” was written by The Sultan himself and contains riveting lyrics, like “I think it’s gonna be an awesome place…a really, really, really, really awesome place.” The work was performed by award-winning Bengali signing sensation Barnabas Barney Sku.



Music critics worldwide were floored and left nearly speechless after the four minute-plus masterpiece was dropped on Youtube like a hot, steamy pile of pancakes.

One commenter exclaimed, “GTFOH!” We’re not sure what that means, but we’re pretty sure it’s an acronym for, “Gosh, that’s freaking outrageously hot.” Thanks Meatball6969, We think so, too.

We’ve also received several direct messages and comments hinting that our anthem might have been based off of an existing work by some obscure artist by the name of Elton John. The Sultan denies these claims and suggests that any similarity is purely coincidental and perhaps that “the hater’s just gon’ hate.”

Please enjoy your new National Anthem:




UPDATE: Shelton John Sings the Anthem!


UPDATE: Sign the petition to have Elton John sing our national anthem! GO HERE to sign!


9 thoughts on “Sultan Unveils National Anthem

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes:

<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>