BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER
August 10th, 2022
Las Vegas: Leaders from 29 nations around the world converged on Las Vegas last weekend for MicroCon 2022, a summit designed to bring together countries large and small, for a weekend of discussions, diplomacy and mediocre buffet food.
Representing Slowjamastan was The Sultan, Chief Border Patrol Agent Mark Corona, Director of Emergency Services Rescue Rick, Press Secretary Tim Richards, Governor and Governess of DonSam Wadi Donald Caliva and Samantha Speckmeyer, newly appointed Governess of Snooklyn Kathy Snook and special delegate (and citizen #200) Melissa Dagdagan. The Sultan and his staff were joined by Slowjamastan Secret Service to ensure no risk of shenanigans by any rabble-rousers with less than positive intentions.
Talks this weekend included possible trade agreements between Slowjamastan and other nations, ending the long-standing feud between Slowjamastan and Cameroon, and an alliance with all nations present to come together and demand the immediate closing of Croc factories worldwide.
The press was on-hand for the long-awaited meeting of The Sultan and President and First Lady of Molossia. The paparazzi wasted no time capturing the moving event that was The Sultan shaking hands with Zaqistan‘s esteemed leader, Zaq Landsberg.
But perhaps the most moving moment of the weekend was The Sultan’s speech: a passionate, tell-all 20-minute presentation detailing the history, politics and future plans of The Republic of Slowjamastan. When his presentation was concluded, there wasn’t a dry eye in the room. The applause lasted less than 20 minutes.
But there was at least one tense moment during the conference. The summit’s organizers threatened to remove Slowjamastan and its delegates from the property after The Sultan’s Secret Service blockaded the men’s restroom to allow the His Excellency to relieve himself. Can’t a Sultan pee in peace?
The Sultan and staff would like to thank Grand Duke Travis of Westarctica for hosting such an important and fantastic event.
Enjoy The Sultan’s speech (before they take it down) and photos of MicroCon below.