BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER
April 3rd, 2023
Dublândia, Slowjamastan: Under 20,000 Slowjamastani citizens and supporters joined The Sultan and Parliament last to celebrate the arrival of the two latest official state vehicles to join The Slowjamastan Government fleet.
“¡Viva Slowjamastan!” chanted crowd-goers excited to see The Sultan and his sweet rides.
First, joining the Slowjamastani Special Forces Division, was a new Ford Explorer Police Interceptor.
The Sultan said, “We are so proud of our latest addition, The Slowjamastan Special Forces Cruiser.”
Adding, “It is packed to the gills with everything you need to protect the homeland: from the big bumper, of course the lights…it has the ‘whoop-whooop!’ – the sirens. It goes very fast…and it has a cassette player for my mix tapes!”
The Republic also christened its new Porder Batrol Truck, under the supervision of Chief Porder Batrol Agent Mark Corona.
Chief Porder Agent Mark Corona said, “Once we find the Crocs, we throw them in the back of the Porder Batrol vehicle, and then we take them to the dumpster and we set them on fire.”
Both vehicles were on display at The 17th Annual Cesar Chavez Car Show in neighboring Brawley, California, United States of America.
One concerned citizen said, “The Porder Batrol truck right here has been bad ass – it’s been a super huge hit with the crowd, and we’re having a great time here at The Brawley Car Show.”
Another concerned citizen said, “I think it’s great to show law enforcement here at this event.”
Arne Carlson’s Slowjamastan racecar was also on display and The Republic congratulates Rescue Rick for taking 1st place with The Slowjamastan Fire Engine.
The following day, Slowjamastanis flocked to The Capital of Dublândia for a special passport stamping celebration and “Selfies with The Sultan” experience.
Dignitaries from the states of Palmerstan, Upper Palmerstan, Snooklyn, DonSamWadi and Higher Wadi were in attendance. The Sultan was also happy to receive a special diplomatic visit from our partners at The United States Border Patrol, who assists Slowjamastan on the American side of their borders.
Chief Porder Agent Mark Corona added, “With the help of the Border Patrol in the U.S., we can now get rid of more Crocs than ever before!”
© 2023 Slowjamastan News Network
3 thoughts on “Sultan Pimps Rides, Crowds Stunned”
Geez I was off doing my own thing in that group photo! Such a great weekend with my Slowjamafam!!!
Congratulations to His Excellency the Sultan of Slowjamastan on the acquisition of such fine vehicles to aid in the protection of the Republic of Slowjamastan!
Thank you, Eric! May you never upset the Sultan to the point you’ll have to ride in the back of our cop car!