BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER
July 3, 2023
The following article applies to anyone who joined Slowjamastan as an Ambassador or member of Parliament. If you are interested in joining, we will post a link at the end of this article. If you’ve become a member and are waiting in paperwork, see our advisory HERE.
Like our Dear Leader’s grand vision of a new nation, an appointment to Slowjamastan Parliament or a post as Ambassador can be as small or large as you make it. And we hope you will make it HUGE!
Think about it: How do you think our great Sultan took just eleven acres of barren, desert sand and turned it into one of the most talked-about and publicized nations in the entire world? It was neither by spending money nor using his dashing good looks. Slowjamastan became famous through a little imagination, creativity and rousing “ownership” of an idea. And that’s where you and your appointment come in…
At minimum, your role as an Ambassador or member of Parliament includes your name and photo on our website. But we really hope you won’t stop there. Our wish is that you maximize your special appointment and role in Slowjamastan, and there are a million and one ways to do so. The only limit is your imagination!
Below are a few idea starters for members of Parliament and our glorious Ambassadors. Many of these ideas cost very little or nothing at all.
1. Own your title – Physically!
Consider making business cards with your name and title on them. We can provide the template and flag graphic to make it easier. How about a name placard on your desk, or a sign on the door of your office (or residence)? You can make one with paper and crayons or have a professional sign printed! We don’t care how you do it, just own your title! Let your role be known! Make sure to send us PHOTOS of these physical assets, so we may share them on our social media and let the world know who you are!
2. Own your title – Digitally!
Consider changing your social media handles or even just the descriptions to indicate your role in Slowjamastan! May we point to a couple examples, like Ambassador Mark Dodge, who has taken on the responsibility of running our Oregon Consulate, and Eliza Gonzalez who represents Slowjamastan in Peru? Both have dedicated Facebook, Instagram and Twitter accounts for their titles. If this is too much, you can simply add your title to your existing social media accounts. But don’t be shy – tell the world who you are! Don’t forget to add your title to your LinkedIn!
3. Speaking of Flag-Waving…
Fly The Slowjamastan flag proudly! Our Director of Slowjamastan Secret Stuff (SSS), Bradley Gentile, proudly displays our flag outside of his Chino, California Slowjamastan office. You can order a flag HERE, or print out this FREE flag HERE!
4. Wear Slowjamastan!
You can find official Slowjamstan tees, hats, flags, pins, stickers, mugs and more in the SlowjamaShop HERE. You will make us proud by wearing official Slowjamastan gear around town. And, you will keep the public wondering, “What the heck is Slowjamastan?” Of course, a proud and select few who are “in” on Slowjamastan will gaze at you with amazement and respect. It’s a beautiful thing!
5. Create Slowjamastan!
But just like citizenship, it doesn’t have to cost anything to represent for Slowjamastan: We don’t care if you buy merch or make your own! As long as you are representing Slowjamastan proudly – you will make us so happy and warm inside! For example, some citizens have thoughtfully crafted beautiful drawings and paintings of Slowjamastan. Others have made Slowjamastan Lego creations. Our point is – whether you rock official merch or make your own – you warm our hearts when you show the world your loyalty to Slowjamastan!
6. Sharing is Caring…
Finally, in regards to all of the above: Please make sure to post it on social media, and most importantly, tag us, so we can see it, and share it with our 10,000+ citizens! Even if you have no merch or don’t have time to “make” something – just a simple video with you professing your love of Slowjamastan will make The Sultan smile. And if you tag us, we will share it!
7. BONUS: Sponsor an Adopt-a-Highway Project!
This is a good one – thanks to Oregon Ambassador Mark Dodge for being the first to do this! Most cities, counties and states have Adopt-a-Highway programs where you can volunteer to care for a stretch of highway shoulder (litter clean-up) in exchange for a sign giving your consulate credit. This is FANTASTIC for you and for our nation! Most of the information on these programs can be found by a simple internet search. Do let us know if you accomplish this tremendous achievement and we will share the news with the nation!
We thank all of our Parliament members and Ambassadors. By the way, if you recently signed up, we’ll be getting you up on the website in the coming weeks. If you’d like to join, as a Parliament member or Ambassador, just go HERE for details. God bless you, and God bless The Republic of Slowjamastan!