BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER
August 21, 2023
Dublândia: In a twist that left experts baffled, Tropical Storm Hillary turned out to be the unexpected kick in the floaties that Slowjamastan’s new Lazy River project desperately needed. As the storm clouds gathered, citizens excitedly grabbed their inflatable unicorns and swan rafts, ready to ride the storm’s momentum.
Construction crews, initially bewildered by the idea of building a water feature during a storm, quickly adapted. “We were set to finish the Lazy River next summer,” said the project manager Theodore Throckmorton, shrugging off raindrops. “But why wait? This storm’s enthusiasm is infectious!”
As the storm subsided, Slowjamastan unveiled its magnificent Lazy River, complete with misty waterfalls and gentle whirlpools. The project was celebrated as a triumph of lazy ingenuity, proving that when life gives you a storm, just add water – and a whole lot of leisurely floating.
No raccoons were injured during this severe weather incident.