BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER
September 15, 2023
Last weekend, the “motherland” saw a monumental influx of SlowjamaFans from across the globe. The Sultan flung open his borders with all the grace of a bull in a china shop, granting visa-free access to the masses. Chaos reigned as visitors stampeded in, causing traffic to be backed up for feet. All this hullabaloo was for the grand “No Croctober” fiesta, where crocs were banned and gifts for The Sultan were encouraged.
Distinguished guests graced this bewildering event, like Mayor George Nava, from Brawley, California, United States, who was handed “The Key to the Country” by The Sultan. New states were born with as much sense as a unicorn on roller skates, including Momopolis, inaugurated by Swiss representative Momo Scherz and the Queendom of Hotdamastan, now officially a thing thanks to Casey Mead of New Zealand and her BFF Larissa Olenicoff hailing from Orange County. Special thanks to CJ “Sparkplug” who misted people down during this afternoon scorcher! Construction and infrastructure supervisors Andrew and Kris were on hand, too
In the midst of this circus, there were Kool-Aid tastings compliments of The State of DonSam Wadi, an enormous Croc-piñata designed and engineered by Governess Samantha Speckmeyer. The “Raccoon of Friendship Award” was presented to photographer extraordinaire, Darrell Cornett, who always “gets The Sultan’s good side.” Of course, no global event is complete without Rescue Rick and his hose.
Multiple press outlets attended, including Germany’s RTL and the Desert Dream Podcast (United States).
Let’s not forget the star-studded cast of V.I.P.s, including Governors Glenn Palmer, Ian Palmer, Kathy Snook, Donald Caliva, and Samantha Speckmeyer. You may have recognized Parliament members Chief Porder Batrol Agent Mark Corona, Director of Emergency Services Rescue Rick, Press Secretary Tim Richards, Vice Regent of Cosmic Creativity Lucretia Torva, Baron of Beards Ray Haynes, and Ambassadors Mark Dodge, and Carla and Jeremy Burdt. The Slowjamastan Infrastructure and Construction Commission (Andrew and Kris) were on hand, and special thanks to CJ Sparkplug who provided much needed “mist” on this scorcher of a day under the unforgivable Slowjamastani sun!
Please enjoy photos from this glorious event! Click on thumbnail to see full photo.
Photos by Darrell Cornett.