Ain’t no Party Like a Slowjamastan Party!
BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER
September 9, 2023
You’re cordially invited to Slowjamastan’s (No) Croctober!
Behold, a visual masterpiece awaits your perusal – The Sultan’s cinematic invitation, lovingly crafted for your viewing pleasure:
Join The Sultan and Parliament in Slowjamastan on Saturday, October 7th at 4:00 PM for a get-together that’s guaranteed to redefine your idea of fun!
We’ll be commemorating the addition of some new states (we think they exist, at least on paper), taking selfies with The Sultan (who’s got great teeth, by the way), and indulging in the finest Kool-Aid that money can buy (okay, it’s the generic stuff, but who’s counting?).
But wait, there’s more…
Lower your expectations and join us for a day that’s just like Disneyland (if Disneyland had no cool rides and forgettable food). Bring your friends and family. They’ll never forgive you!
Good news, though: free parking before 5 PM (if you can find a spot), and traffic so slow, you’ll have time to ponder life’s greatest mysteries (like why you came here in the first place).
So mark your calendars, and prepare for a day that’ll make you question your life choices like never before. Slowjamastan awaits you, with open arms and a never-ending supply of lukewarm Kool-Aid. See you there!
*** RSVP HERE ***