ESCONDIDO, CA — The red carpet was nowhere to be found. There were no paparazzi, no velvet ropes, and absolutely nobody mistook Escondido for Hollywood.

And yet, history was made.

Last Thursday, loyal citizens and invited dignitaries gathered at a secret location in Escondido for the official watch party premiere of Greetings from Slowjamastan.

Dinner was personally provided by The Sultan from Gringas Tacos and Catering, with Cactus Cooler on hand to maintain acceptable diplomatic hydration levels.

Guests watched Episode One live as it premiered on YouTube, followed by a highly classified sneak peek of Episode Two — a full week before its public release.

After the screening, The Sultan and Chief participated in a special Q&A, during which numerous state secrets were revealed, several questions were answered, and government transparency briefly got completely out of control. The recoding has been de-classified and can be veiwed here:

Special thanks to Shayn Mitchell and the crew at Icon Industries for hosting the event at their studios — a location kept secret until guests were officially confirmed and deemed unlikely to be Gary.

For his service to the Republic, Shayn was awarded the coveted Golden Raccoon of Friendship Award and presented with an official Slowjamastani diplomatic passport.

Hollywood may have movie stars, limousines and red carpets.

Escondido had tacos, Cactus Cooler and classified government information.

We know where we’d rather be.

Subscribe to the official Slowjamastan YouTube Channel and clang the notification bell so you never miss an episode of Greetings from Slowjamastan.

>>> Become a Slowjamastan Citizen HERE.