BY THE SULTAN l SUPREME LEADER
June 11, 2023
Dublândia: As much fun as we are having creating and watching this whole “Slowjamastan” empire unfold and explode, please allow your Sultan to be serious for a moment…
Since the news of Slowjamastan broke around the world (CNN, etc.), I have personally received hundreds of emails and DMs from wonderful new friends around the world, legitimately wanting to move to Slowjamastan for a better life – seeking asylum from areas and situations they wish to improve. While the m.o. of Slowjamastan is comprised mostly of humor, fun and imagination, I can not, with good conscious, give an anything less than serious (and hopefully compassionate) reply to these legitimate requests. So to all my new, dear friends and Slowjamastan supporters who have asked to come to Slowjamastan, please read the following FAQs below before booking that plane ticket:
1. I live outside of The United States. Can I visit Slowjamastan?
It may be possible, but please understand that our nation is completely surrounded by The United States of America, and since Slowjamastan currently does not have a functioning international airport, you would need to enter through the USA first. At this time, we do not offer visa support for the USA.
2. If I get into the United States, can I move into/live in Slowjamastan?
At the moment, no. While we have big dreams for our small but mighty nation, we currently do not possess the infrastructure to house new residents. As of today, we have no paved roads, no residential housing and minimal employment opportunities. Our job market sucks. Our internet sucks even worse. Three cable channels. Sounds like an awesome place, right? And pssssst, don’t tell anyone, but we’re still working on the electricity, sewer and plumbing thing, so there’s that.
3. Can I travel with The Slowjamastani Passport?
Although our passport has been stamped in over 20 nations, the fact is, our passport has not yet been accepted for travel in most countries. It’s currently only recognized in the micronations of Molossia, Sealand, Dukionary and of course, Slowjamastan…most (if not all) fully-recognized UN nations sadly do not accept our beautiful passport at the moment. You might even land in jail for trying to pass international borders with our passport, so please don’t try it. Our passports are currently sold for novelty purposes and we accept no responsibility should you try and use it for official travel. Maybe one day! Still want a Slowjamastan passport? Get one HERE!
4. Well that sucks! Why would I want to become a Slowjamastani citizen then?
Slowjamastan is what you make it! A reprieve from the exhausting barrage of everyday politics and drama, Slowjamastan is an escape from everyday life – even if just for a few fleeting moments – to get away and have a laugh and a smile and meet some new friends looking for the same. You can pay a visit to us virtually (online), or in person, if you’re nearby – take a selfie with The Sultan and our founders, search for our allusive raccoons and roast people who wear Crocs. And don’t get me wrong, Slowjamastan will be physically growing – just know that Rome was not built in day. Citizenship is free and you can get started HERE.
You can even apply to become a Slowjamastani Ambassador to your country or even a member of Slowjamastan Parliament. See details HERE.
Please accept this awkwardly long and tight hug from your Sultan and all the blessings from all of us in Slowjamastan. We hope to see you one day, online, or in person, in The Motherland!
All the best,
P.S. For our friends nearby, we await your visit. Please SIGN UP for our free newsletter, and we’ll send you invites to our future events and Slowjama-Jams! Next get together: Sunday, June 25th at 4:30PM! RSVP HERE.