Nation’s Smelliest Sea Rebranded as Tribute to Supreme Leader: “Sultan” Sea to Replace Salton Sea in Grandiose Gesture

May 19th, 2024


Salton City, CA: This week, a measure was put on the ballot to rename The Salton Sea, The “Sultan” Sea, after our Dear Leader and lifetime-appointed father of Slowjamastan, His Excellency Randy Williams.

“I’m voting yes,” says Mike Elvis, Minister of Tourism for the world’s newest nation. “What better way to honor our great leader than to have his name grace this giant, stinky but sexy, big beautiful body of water. In many ways The Salton Sea is much like our Sultan.”

Bob Dobalina, Slowjamastan’s Minister of Finance thinks it’s a prudent expenditure.

“One reason I love this idea, is because it will not require new signs – and they’re so expensive! In this case, we just need to purchase some green spray paint to cover the “A” and the “O” and then we stick white “U” and “A” stickers in place. It’s just makes too much sense.

Nearby residents of the American town of Salton City (soon to change its name, too), seem just as excited:

“This is stupid,” said Elaine Smith. “So are they gonna change the name of the city too?” Why yes, Elaine; why yes they are.



The vote, which will take place during a special referendum later this year, will be broadcast live on Slowjamastan State TV (Watch HERE). Initial citizen surveys suggest the name change will pass with 100% in favor. The Sultan seems confident.

“I mean, why wouldn’t they change the name? The people want this sea beautified – so why would the ugly name remain? Let’s change everything. First the name, then we dye the water a stunning fuchsia…bring in some inflatable flamingos and a swim-up bar. It’s a win-win.”

This week, NBC Palm Springs made ratings history when they included the proposed name change in a feature story. Online services and map makers have already been made aware of the forthcoming change. Stay tuned for further developments.




11 thoughts on “Does the Salton “See” Name Change in Future?

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