Ben Katzman outside The Consulate of Slowjamastan in The USA.


How I Survived Afternoon Tea with a Sultan: A Tale of Tea, Turbans, and Timely Bowing

May 26th, 2024


San Diego: I am on the road again for work, this time in San Diego, [and so] I took it upon myself to reach out to The Sultan of Slowjamastan while I was out here. In order to make it official, I conducted an interview with Randy [His Excellency] while I was with him. I was not able to make it out to the actual nation, unfortunately, but he His Excellency did accommodate me by hosting me at the consulate (which is actually on Google Maps as The Consulate of the Republic of Slowjamastan). His [Excellency’s] office resides in a nondescript building, and he leases the remainder of the spaces for radio recording studios. This was a strong first impression and he struck me as a very practical man; so resourceful to lease office space to Americans.


The Consulate of Slowjamastan in the USA on Google Maps.
His Excellency is the most well-traveled person of his nation, and quite possibly, of all micronations. He [His Excellency] couldn’t put his finger on when he came about the idea of traveling to every country but it was something that kind of just came to be. He [His Excellency] had traveled quite a bit in his younger years and during one vacation he managed to visit seven countries in about two weeks. He figured, if he did that every time he traveled, rather than stick to a single destination for each trip, he could see more countries, more cultures. Eventually, it led to him [His Excellency] successfully visiting the entire world: as of May 2023 he [His Excellency] has visited all 193 countries which are member states of the United Nations. Quite an achievement! It was extremely enjoyable to listen to him [His Excellency] recount his [His Excellency’s] travels and view the photographs he took, not to mention a giant floor-to-ceiling wall map with pins in it that dwarfs mine and fired up my love of adventure.


The Sultan answering an urgent call to renew his expiring car warranty.

His [His Excellency’s] curiosity and love for exploration began as an adolescent. R Dub! [His Excellency] grew up in Los Angeles, CA and befriended less wealthy children who were bussed in during the integration initiatives of the 1970s. As a middle class White kid,  Randy [His Excellency] decided to ride the bus to East L.A. and stay the night at a friend’s house. All jokes aside, he [His Excellency] credits this cultural crossing as a cornerstone of the travel bug that he [His Excellency] nurtures to this day. I have met quite a few people from quite a few cultures and yet the Supreme Sultan spoke with a fondness and humility that I have only met in big-hearted, selfless people. He [His Excellency] has a genuine philanthropic character and was very modest when I asked about his [His Excellency’s] contributions to building wells for small villages in Africa; though he could only downplay it so much, as according to Slowjamastan’s website they have constructed three wells since 2017. Despite his [His Excellency’s] modesty, his passion shined through as he spoke about his experiences.


>>> RELATED: R Dub!’s Slow Jams 4 Kids Water Initiative <<<


After hearing about his [His Excellency’s] tours across the world, I reviewed the historical facts of Slowjamastan and inquired about what inspired him [His Excellency] to establish his own nation. The Sultan, before he [His Excellency] was Sultan, visited the micronation of the Republic of Molossia, just outside of Reno, Nevada. He [His Excellency] said that during his [His Excellency’s] visit to Molossia, he felt like a pregnant woman. Somehow, someone planted a seed inside him [His Excellency], and then he [His Excellency] looked at a friend and said he [His Excellency] dreamed of one day birthing Slowjamastan. It was around this time that he [His Excellency] offered me a drink, so perhaps his redirection was because he could tell I was confused. What I managed to translate from this bit was that he [His Excellency] never intended to start a nation, but the idea of Slowjamastan was a quick joke made between him [His Excellency] and a friend; one where the name Slowjamastan just seemed organic to the unrealized dream of a fledgling nation. The idea would come to fruition, however, and fully gestated in September 2021. Slowjamastan was born, and on December 1st, 2021, they had gained their independence.


Independence Day. (photo: Slowjamastan Ministry of Communications)


He [His Excellency] recapped some interesting bits about the inhabitants of some nearby settlements, the Salton Sea and he [His Excellency] graced me with a brief historical account of the region. Interviewing him [His Excellency], I felt like a much more novice Tucker Carlson, and he [His Excellency], a much less intimidating Vladimir Putin [and much more handsome Tom Selleck]. So much so, that he [His Excellency] was nothing like Putin, except for the fact that he [His Excellency] is a dictator (sometimes). If you don’t know what I mean, this is in reference to

Tucker’s interview

and Putin recapping 45 minutes of the history of his homeland off of one question.


Ben also extending his car warranty.

All in all, it was a fantastic visit. I will be blocking out some time to see Slowjamastan and the surrounding areas the next time I come out this way. His Excellency was very friendly and now that I am reflecting on our time together, I am beginning to wonder…he learned I was in the US Navy, he [His Excellency] held doors open for me, he [His Excellency] smiled and spoke with a foreign accent, he [His Excellency] offered me alcohol, he [His Excellency] had me model and photographed me, and lastly he [His Excellency] gave me some Dubles (the currency of Slowjamastan). Hmm…Oh well, he [His Excellency] must just be a very friendly leader.

Until next time.


The Sultan and Ben.

Ben Katzman is a Navy Veteran of 16 years and currently resides in Virginia with his wife and two children. He became a Slowjamastan citizen in 2024. He is a recurring guest on Time for Another Podcast.


Why not make it official? Become a Slowjamastan Citizen HERE.


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