Right City, Wrong Year: Slowjamastan’s Olympic Mix-Up BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER July 28th, 2024 Paris — In an extraordinary display of organizational prowess, the Slowjamastan National Hockey Federation descended upon Paris this week, ready to
Month: July 2024
Epic Showdown Over Parking Ticket Shakes Nation BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER July 18th, 2024 San Diego — International turmoil reached historic heights on Wednesday as the esteemed Sultan of Slowjamastan was summoned to San
Slowjamastan Public Information Department Below is the Sultan’s official court statement and testimony for The United States v. The Sultan, which took place in San Diego Superior Court on July 17th, 2024 under the guidance and supervision
The Sultan and Chief Commandeered to Washington for High-Stakes Summit Shenanigans BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER July 14th, 2024 Washington: Forget electricity and plumbing; those are mere trifles. The real ticket to legitimacy for Slowjamastan?
Nogales Police Department Rolls Out Red Carpet (and Extra Parking Spaces) for Sultan of Slowjamastan BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER June 22nd, 2024 Nogales, AZ—In an event that could only be described as a cross-border