BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER December 4th, 2025 SAN DIEGO — In a dazzling display of espionage brilliance, The Sultan of Slowjamastan pulled off his most audacious coup yet: infiltrating The American Media™ itself. Disguised as mild-mannered “Earl
Month: December 2025
Citizens, Loyal Subjects, and Concerned Anti-Croc Patriots, Yesterday, some of you may have witnessed disturbing border security footage in which The Sultan appeared to allow a young child to enter Slowjamastan while wearing Crocs. Your outrage was justified. In