BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER January 25rd, 2025 Los Angeles – If a front-row seat at the NATO Summit didn’t convince the world that Slowjamastan is a geopolitical powerhouse, fear not—we’re doubling down. This year, our
Author: Slowjamastan State Department
BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER January 25th, 2025 Dublândia – Slowjamastan’s charismatic and unapologetically bold leader, The Sultan , has sent shockwaves across the geopolitical landscape with a declaration: he’s “thinking very strongly” about annexing Yuma,
BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER January 23rd, 2025 Dublândia – After four grueling days of intense labor, sweat, and what we can only assume was a lot of Monster Energy drinks, the Republic of Slowjamastan is proud to announce
BY THE SULTAN l SUPREME LEADER January 12th, 2025 My Word is Bond I promised I’d keep you updated on the awful burglary and vandalism that happened to us in December, so I’m here with an update. I
Slowjamastan Establishes “December 14th Commission” – A Nation Demands Answers BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER January 11th, 2025 Dublândia : – In a move of historic significance, His Excellency, The Sultan of Slowjamastan, has formed the
Suspects have been identified and located. We are currently working with authorities. Please GO HERE for the latest updates. Parents, you have the power to create outstanding, kind citizens out of your children. You also have equal
BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER December 21st , 2024 Dublândia — In a dramatic move that sent shockwaves through the fast food and footwear industries, The Republic of Slowjamastan announced today that it will impose immediate sanctions
…Sultan of Slowjamastan Leads Elite Citizens in Heroic Quest to Save America from Itself BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER December 8th, 2024 San Diego County, CA: This weekend, fewer than 500 of the bravest Slowjamastani citizens
…Declares it ‘A Close Second to the Slowjamastan Royal Procession’ BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER November 10th, 2024 Brawley, CA: In an event that could only be described as “groundbreaking” (by those breaking out the lawn
…But a Mysterious Write-In Vote for SlowjamaStanley Raises Eyebrows in the Eastern District BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER November 6th, 2024 Dublândia: In a landslide victory that absolutely no one saw coming (except maybe The
SCROLL DOWN TO VOTE Voting Instructions for the 2024 Republic of Slowjamastan Election: The Greatest Election Ever! Greetings, esteemed citizens of Slowjamastan! It’s that time again when we get to exercise our most sacred right: the
BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER October 27th, 2024 Heber, CA – Last Saturday, residents of Heber were in for a wild ride as The Sultan of Slowjamastan himself rolled into town to join the annual Fall Fiesta