BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER September 25, 2026 DUBLÂNDIA, SLOWJAMASTAN — The Sultan of Slowjamastan has announced sweeping new restrictions on press access, banning journalists who own, wear, or have ever publicly defended Crocs. “Freedom of
Month: September 2026
BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER September 17, 2026 DUBLÂNDIA, SLOWJAMASTAN — Concern is growing inside the Republic of Slowjamastan after The Sultan reportedly became increasingly uneasy over a series of recent international developments involving the United States
Comrades! The Motherland is giving away official Slowjamastan passports! Here is how you may attempt to become one of the fortunate: 1. Watch “Greetings from Slowjamastan” — Episode Three below. And yes, comrades, watch the whole video. The
BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER August 30, 2026 ESCONDIDO, CA — The red carpet was nowhere to be found. There were no paparazzi, no velvet ropes, and absolutely nobody mistook Escondido for Hollywood. And yet, history
BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER August 30, 2026 SULTAN SEA — In a historic act of leadership, geography and extremely confident map editing, The Sultan of Slowjamastan has officially renamed the Salton Sea the “Sultan Sea.”