…Sultan of Slowjamastan Leads Elite Citizens in Heroic Quest to Save America from Itself BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER December 8th, 2024 San Diego County, CA: This weekend, fewer than 500 of the bravest Slowjamastani citizens
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…But a Mysterious Write-In Vote for SlowjamaStanley Raises Eyebrows in the Eastern District BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER November 6th, 2024 Dublândia: In a landslide victory that absolutely no one saw coming (except maybe The
BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER FEBRUARY 6, 2022 Dublândia, Republic of Slowjamastan: Under 10,000 Slowjamastani citizens, loyalists and supporters flooded through the nation’s newly constructed border gate on Sunday for an opportunity to see the
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Comrades! The Motherland is giving away official Slowjamastan passports! Here is how you may attempt to become one of the fortunate: 1. Watch “Greetings from Slowjamastan” — Episode Three below. And yes, comrades, watch the whole video. The
BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER August 30, 2026 ESCONDIDO, CA — The red carpet was nowhere to be found. There were no paparazzi, no velvet ropes, and absolutely nobody mistook Escondido for Hollywood. And yet, history
BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER August 30, 2026 SULTAN SEA — In a historic act of leadership, geography and extremely confident map editing, The Sultan of Slowjamastan has officially renamed the Salton Sea the “Sultan Sea.”
BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER August 23, 2026 SLOWJAMASTAN — Tensions escalated at the border of the Republic of Slowjamastan when County Inspector Gary Bower allegedly entered sovereign Slowjamastani territory without diplomatic clearance, proceeded to conduct
BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER June 14th, 2026 PARIS — A recent traveler proudly shared photos of their Republic of Slowjamastan passport receiving an official entry stamp at Paris-Orly Airport in France. Almost immediately, a familiar
BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER May 21, 2026 SLOWJAMASTAN — Federal prosecutors in The Republic of Slowjamastan announced today that they have formally indicted Andrew Rees, CEO of Crocs, on charges including Crimes Against Fashion,
BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER April 28th, 2026 SLOWJAMASTAN — In a moment of quiet triumph disguised as chaos, the Ministry of Identification and Mild Confusion confirms what loyal viewers of Fridays with Frank already suspected:
Despite Chaotic Start, Officials Urge Public to Watch Replay BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER March 28th, 2026 SLOWJAMASTAN — The Republic of Slowjamastan marked a milestone this week with its first-ever YouTube LIVE broadcast, featuring
BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER March 28th, 2026 SLOWJAMASTAN — In moment of excessive vigilance and slightly elevated blood pressure, Glorious Leader The Sultan regretfully acknowledges premature accusation of treason against loyal citizens of The Republic
Citizens of the Republic, attention. On Sunday, March 29 at precisely 5:00 PM Pacific, the Supreme Leader himself—the Sultan—alongside the honorable Chief, will take to the airwaves for a historic broadcast: “Ask The Sultan and Chief.” Across the globe,
UPDATE: Rescheduled for March 25th BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER February 26th, 2026 SAN DIEGO — On Wednesday, March 25th, the state-approved television flickers to life as American journalist Jeff Zevely unveils his broadcast on
BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER February 23rd, 2026 LONG BEACH, CA — The glorious Republic of Slowjamastan has announced its strategic cultural expansion into the prestigious Travel & Adventure Show , landing triumphantly at the Long