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The Republic of Slowjamastan

The Republic of Slowjamastan

The United Territories of The Sovereign Nation of The People's Republic of Slowjamastan

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Author: Slowjamastan State Department

Hordes Flood Across Border to See Sultan

Posted on February 11, 2022 by Slowjamastan State Department

  BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP  l  STAFF WRITER FEBRUARY 6, 2022      Dublândia, Republic of Slowjamastan: Under 10,000 Slowjamastani citizens, loyalists and supporters flooded through the nation’s newly constructed border gate on Sunday for an opportunity to see the

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Meet The Sultan – Sunday, February 6th

Posted on January 5, 2022 by Slowjamastan State Department

BY DIRK CUNNINGHAM  l  STAFF WRITER JANUARY 4, 2022   Meet The Sultan – Sunday, February 6th   Dublândia, Republic of Slowjamastan: The people cried out with joy today, after The Slowjamastan Ministry of Communications released the news that The

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“New Country, Who Dis?” Sultan Declares Independence

Posted on December 12, 2021 by Slowjamastan State Department

BY DIRK CUNNINGHAM  l  STAFF WRITER DECEMBER 1, 2021        Dublândia, Republic of Slowjamastan: At 12:26 Slowjamastan Standard Time, the Sultan took pen to paper and rocked the international community, signing a document that would declare

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Sign Up For Our Newsletter

Posted on November 13, 2021 by Slowjamastan State Department

  Don’t Miss Important News! Subscribe to Our Newsletter! Want to know when we declare independence? What about when we wage war on our enemies (Nah, don’t worry, we’re a peace loving nation). Want to know when we will offer

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Contact Us

Posted on November 13, 2021 by Slowjamastan State Department

Contact us. Newsletter: Want to know when we declare independence? Visas and tours? Or when we will open up opportunities for property and political office appointments? Be sure to sign up for our newsletter. We will never, ever spam you

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“That’s One Big Ass Sign,” Say Residents as Ground Breaking Commences

Posted on November 13, 2021 by Slowjamastan State Department

BY DIRK CUNNINGHAM  l  STAFF WRITER NOVEMBER 11, 2021      Dublândia, Republic of Slowjamastan: Drills be drillin’, hammers be hammerin’ and saws be sawin’. That was the scene earlier today in The Republic of Slowjamastan as ground was

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Sultan Secures Land, Plans Secession

Posted on October 14, 2021 by Slowjamastan State Department

BY DIRK CUNNINGHAM  l  STAFF WRITER OCTOBER 4, 2021   Imperial County, CA, USA: At around 2PM, Slowjamastan time today, it became official: The Sultan of Slowjamastan cementing a deal with the County of Imperial, California, USA, to procure a

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They See Me Rollin’: Slowjamastan Fleet Unveiled One Vehicle at a Time

Posted on October 4, 2021 by Slowjamastan State Department

BY ALEXANDER BOFILL  l  STAFF WRITER OCTOBER 3, 2021   They see me rollin’…they hatin’. That was the sound of the Sultan ridin’ through the streets of Slowjamastan this weekend in his new Mercedes Benz, the first official state vehicle.

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Sultan Unveils Nation’s Coat of Arms

Posted on September 9, 2021 by Slowjamastan State Department

BY ALEXANDER BOFILL  l  STAFF WRITER SEPTEMBER 10, 2021   Coat of arms or coat of charms??? That’s the question the world is asking after setting eyes on the newly-unveiled Slowjamastan coat of arms.  Wednesday afternoon, The Sultan released the

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Sultan Unveils National Anthem

Posted on August 26, 2021 by Slowjamastan State Department

BY ALEXANDER BOFILL  l  STAFF WRITER AUGUST 25, 2021   The internet nearly broke this morning at around 10:17AM (Slowjamastan time), when the Ministry of Music, Art and Culture released the country’s new (and first ever) National Anthem. The Sultan

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Slowjamastan National Flag Unveiled

Posted on August 24, 2021 by Slowjamastan State Department

BY ALEXANDER BOFILL  l  STAFF WRITER AUGUST 23, 2021   SAN DIEGO, CA – There was much fanfare and celebration this afternoon and the people of Slowjamastan rejoiced as The Sultan unveiled the nation’s flag, sharing the design with the

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Slowjamastan Flag Design Underway

Posted on August 22, 2021 by Slowjamastan State Department

BY ALEXANDER BOFILL  l  STAFF WRITER AUGUST 20, 2021   SAN DIEGO, CA – This weekend, a very special project is taking place. Sources tell us the official design of the very first Flag of SlowJamastan is underway. The Sultan,

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Recent Posts

  • The Sultan and His Chief Enforcer Storm Los Angeles and OC
  • Massive Caravans of Americans Seek Asylum in Slowjamastan—But not so Fast!
  • Sultan Imposes 6,000,000% Tariff on Crocs, Calls Them “Threat to National Security”
  • The Sultan vs. The Education System—One Brave Student Fights for Truth, Justice, and Dubles
  • Slowjamastan Makes Historic Debut at Travel and Adventure Show; Confuses, Delights Visitors

Recent Comments

  1. Ambassador Heu`ionalani Wyeth on The Sultan and His Chief Enforcer Storm Los Angeles and OC
  2. Slowjamastan State Department on The New Frontier: NATO Attendance for Slowjamastan!
  3. NAYAUN chandra das on TRAVEL ADVISORY: Non-Americans Wishing to Travel to Slowjamastan
  4. Saimon Anu on 16 Nations That Have Recognized and Stamped the Slowjamastan Passport
  5. Robert Snodgrass on Sultan Imposes 6,000,000% Tariff on Crocs, Calls Them “Threat to National Security”

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