BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER January 25th, 2024 Dublândia: In a shocking revelation that left linguists bewildered and accents worldwide shaking in their phonetic boots, the Sultan of Slowjamastan finally spilled the
Category: News
BY THE SULTAN l SUPREME LEADER December 1, 2023 Dublândia: December 1st, 2023 marks the two-year anniversary of independence for The People’s Republic of Slowjamastan. It was on this very day, exactly two years ago, that The Sultan
Show Your Spirit, Win Prizes! In celebration of our country’s independence, our generous Sultan is opening up his coffers and handing out free passports and prizes to those showing their love for Slowjamastan! Ten winners will be
Black Friday Sale EXTENDED Through Monday We’ve never, ever had a “sale.” But here’s the deal…our nation is teetering on the brink of financial collapse and we need capital. So YOU win! Take advantage of these never before offered
BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER November 15, 2023 The bustling streets of Brawley, California, transformed into a theater of absurdity as hordes of enthusiastic Americans eagerly awaited the grand spectacle of The Sultan and his motorcade during
BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER November 14th, 2023 Havana: In a plot twist even Hollywood couldn’t concoct, The Sultan recently graced Cuba with his royal presence, crashing a diplomatic dinner like it was a pizza party at
BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER September 15, 2023 Last weekend, the “motherland” saw a monumental influx of SlowjamaFans from across the globe. The Sultan flung open his borders with all the grace of a bull in a
BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER September 9, 2023 You’re cordially invited to Slowjamastan’s (No) Croctober ! Behold, a visual masterpiece awaits your perusal – The Sultan’s cinematic invitation, lovingly crafted for your viewing pleasure:
Sultan Shatters Guacamole Competition, Leaving Rivals Green with Envy BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER September 9, 2023 San Diego, CA, USA: In a truly groundbreaking culinary showdown, The Sultan, that legendary guacamole maestro, graced us with his
Comiccon Capers, Law tango, and More Avocados Than you can Guac-omprehend! BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER August 26, 2023 Los Angeles – In a whirlwind frenzy that lasted a whole 45 days (which is
BY HARVEY SCHMIDLAP l STAFF WRITER August 21, 2023 Dublândia: In a twist that left experts baffled, Tropical Storm Hillary turned out to be the unexpected kick in the floaties that Slowjamastan’s new Lazy River project desperately needed.
Against his better judgment, The Sultan has agreed to share his top secret “¡Glorious Guacamole!” recipe with you. It was this same gallant guac that took first place during this year’s Guac-Off at The San Diego Food Bank. The